From The Files Of The Plot Bunny Busters
by BiteMeTechie
Summary: The Anti Plot Bunny Agents are off on their first missions through the fandoms. A companion to the parody piece 'When Plot Bunnies Attack'
1. Reassigned

This won't make a lick of sense unless you read 'When Plot Bunnies Attack' first. So go do it. It's the funniest thing I've ever written (and am likely to _ever_ write, for that matter...I simply don't think I can outdo myself on that one) and has quite a following as a parody/spoof.

That being said, here's the note that's for everyone who's already gotten attached to and involved in the Techieverse-

This story will chronicle the travels of the Bunny Busters within fandoms over their history, starting with when Charlotte, Lennon and Madison first teamed up. Each chapter after the first two (those are set-ups) will be a one shot look at their adventures within a different fandom.

------

_October, Seven years ago..._

It was take your child to work day at the Anti Plot Bunny Agency Head Quarters, a day which was reviled by many and enjoyed by some.

Lennon Fisk, a geek with coke bottle framed glasses, a 'Wassamatta University' tee-shirt and muddied converse sneakers, who worked in the technology division, belonged to the former of those two groups.

Kids were noisy, disgusting little bottom feeders who needed way too much attention at all times, always wanted you to hug them and couldn't hold their sugar without bouncing around like red rubber balls.

And now, they were _here_.

Couldn't bring the brat to work day have waited until _after_ she was reassigned to some _real_ work off-base?

They could've at least kept the kids tour limited to the upper levels of the base, that was just common sense. After all, it was in the bowels of HQ where the most dangerous items were stored.

But nooooo, they were now entering the inner sanctum of her workspace, which just happened to be one of those places that held some of the most dangerous technology available at the APBA.

Lennon watched the little buggers out of the corner of her eye. She had been working in the Fandom Technology Cataloging Division for two months waiting for reassignment. She had outlived her usefulness in the horror fandoms as of her last birthday, so she was transferred here where her skills could be used in the most effective manner until she could be sent to the fandoms.

She _hated_ it here in the FTCD. It was too much like being in a police station, in her opinion.

And she ought to know. When one worked in the horror fandoms, one got to spend _loads_ of time in police stations while the teen canons tried to convince the authorities that Freddy/Jason/Micheal/Chucky/Leatherface/A Giant Killer Tomato really _was_ after them.

Which never worked, of course, but that didn't mean she didn't still have to go through the motions. Otherwise her cover would've been blown.

And nobody wanted that, least of all Lennon.

_That_ was the sort of thing that made canons think of desperate plans like virgin sacrifices to the fandom killer and other such stuff and nonsense.

But we're getting off track here. Back to the Fandom Technology Cataloging Division.

The room was large, and held maybe a dozen desks, each with papers and files strewn over them, along with a computer and a few pieces of fandom tech mixed in for good measure. Behind each desk sat a different APBA agent. Some of them were like Lennon, technology experts who had been taken out of the field awaiting reassignment to the fandoms, while others were career paper pushers, who actually _enjoyed_ doing this for a living.

"And this, children, is our fandom technology cataloging division." The agent who was leading the children along said to them in her sweetest 'Tour Guide Barbie' voice, "This is the place where all of the fandom technologies are cross referenced and cataloged by fandom, use and danger level. Isn't that exciting?"

Lennon only barely suppressed the urge to walk up to the woman and smack her in the head for being so damned bubbly. She did _paperwork_, what the bloody hell was so exciting about **that**?

Yeah..alright, so she got to fiddle with every new piece of tech that came across her desk before she cataloged it, but still...she would have much rather been doing _actual_ work out in the field.

Plus, there were some pieces of tech that were too _big_ to bring back with you, and she would never have the chance to see them unless she was working _in_ the fandoms.

"Alright now children, you can all look around and speak with the agents here, but please boys and girls, don't touch anything."

Oh _great_. Now they were giving them free reign to come up and pester the agents of-

Someone tapped on Lennon's shoulder, startling her out of her thoughts, "Hi."

Lennon glanced over to her left momentarily and saw a boy who had decided that she was the right agent to speak to.

What in God's name possessed him to think something like _that_, we'll never know.

She sighed, but continued typing her report on the theoretical uses of a dilithium crystal when used with other possibly compatible tech, "Yeah, _hi_."

"Who're you?"

"The tooth fairy," Lennon continued her typing.

"Wow," he replied, genuinely impressed, "How old are you?"

Lennon flicked her eyes to the kid, "How old do I look?"

"Uh...thirty."

Lennon stopped typing. She'd never really cared all that much about her looks, and although it was coming from a kid who couldn't have been more than seven, being compared to a thirty year old when one was only eighteen stung.

A little more than Lennon was comfortable admitting, actually.

Had life in the horror fandoms really been _that_ rough on her?

The boy reached out and touched one of the manila file folders on Lennon's desk curiously.

"Hey, back off kid. They told you not to touch anything."

He ignored her, "You do paperwork?"

Lennon glared at the child without pausing her typing, "No. I catalog highly sensitive pieces of fandom technology and cross reference them with tech that we have available here."

"So...you do paperwork."

He reached for the dilithium crystal that was currently serving as a paperweight and Lennon stopped him by grabbing him by the shirt collar, "You ever heard the song 'Beat On The Brat' kid? It's got a good solid message that I can get behind one hundred percent."

A partially balding head stuck out of the Supervisor's office door and barked suddenly, "Fisk!"

Lennon let go of the kid's t-shirt and snapped her head around to look at her boss, "Yeah?"

"Get in here."

"But I-"

"_Now_, Fisk."

She spared the child a nasty glare, who looked rather triumphant at her reprimand from her supervisor, before the geek pushed her rolling chair back harshly and stalked to Rodriquez's office.

The short, bald old man shut the door behind her and rounded on her sternly, "You _do_ know that's the commissioner's son you were manhandling, don't you?"

Lennon's eyebrows shot up and she blinked a few times, "Uh...no."

"Well it _was_," The short man stated before he walked over to his desk and sat down, "Have a seat, Fisk."

"I should start clearing out my desk then, yeah?" Lennon said jokingly, as she flopped down on one of the cheap, day-glo orange plastic chairs across from her supervisor.

"Yes, actually." Supervisor Rodriquez replied, seriousness coloring his tone as he straightened a few of the messily swept together papers on his desk, not looking at Lennon at all, "Cleaning out your desk might be a very good idea at this point in time."

She paled considerably hearing the serious note in his statement, "You mean...you mean I'm being retired?"

Rodriquez looked up at her oddly, his thick glasses making his eyes look like they were three times larger than they should have been, "No. You know you're too young to be retired unless you've been before the disciplinary committee six or more times."

"Uh...I have been." Lennon said, taking a sudden keen interest in her black and red striped shoelaces.

One of the squat old man's eyebrows lifted, "Oh _really_."

Lennon tried not to make a face, "Yeah...it's...it's a long story."

"No matter, Fisk," he stated, as he picked up two manila file folders off his desk and flipped through them, "You've been reassigned."

Her attitude changed completely at hearing this "It's about time!"

At the reproving look that her supervisor gave her, Lennon had the grace to look ashamed, "Uh...not that..I haven't just _loved_ working here over the past two months, or anything."

"You're off desk duty, they're finally sending you back to the fandoms." He held the two folders out for her and waited for her to take them.

"Really?" Lennon squeaked happily, jumping to her feet and snapping the files from him, "Did my transfer go through?"

"Yup. Sci-fi/Fantasy, just like you wanted," he replied, clearly amused by her eagerness as she speed read through the files in her hands.

Ah, youth is so wasted on the young.

"After quite a lot of prodding from yours truly, they saw that there was simply no other fandom that you would fit into."

Lennon was flipping through the first file, which detailed all the equipment she was going to be carrying within the sci-fi fandoms, "Thanks for that. I mean I know that while I've been workin' here I haven't been-"

He held up his hand and stopped her from speaking, "They're setting you up with a new team today."

"What," she looked at him, "Today as in today?"

"Today as in get your ass to sector five before they leave without you."

"Now?" She exclaimed.

"Yes. Get going."

Lennon needed no further encouragement, she sped from the room so quickly that, had she been a cartoon character, she would have left a cloud of dust behind in her wake.

Lennon rushed back into the room a few seconds later, grabbed the surprised old man by the collar, planted one on his cheek, "Thanks Bradford, I owe you one!" and then left once more, whooping and hollering all the way out into the office.

"So long suckers, I got myself a _real_ job again!"

Supervisor Rodriquez stared after her, shaking his head and smiling.

-----

A/N:Alright...start throwing ideas at me for different Sci-Fi/Fantasy fandoms. I have a few, but I need _more_. Please, I beg of you, NO ONE suggest Doctor Who, ok? I've heard nothing but good things about it, but sadly, have never watched it. So...you know...stop suggesting it already.

-waits for the DW fans to start pelting her with rotten vegetables-

I can pretty much do anything in this story, since each chapter is a case file and doesn't have to follow a plot like WPBA does, so any suggestions, no matter how off the wall, will be considered and most likely used.

-realizes what this might entail-

This is going to get..._interesting..._


	2. Embarking

Madison Nelson was excited.

Beyond excited, in fact. She was _so_ hyper that she was having a hard time standing still inside the lift that was taking her to sector five.

Her first team. Her first real mission out of the academy. Her first opportunity to show she had what it took to be an agent of the Anti Plot Bunny Agency.

She bounced a little on the balls of her feet at the thought, which made the worn out field agents in the elevator look at her funny. They recognized the tell tale signs of a newb on her way to her first mission of course, they had all experienced the same sort of euphoria their first time out, but now they knew better.

Well, no point in ruining it for her. She'd be disillusioned soon enough.

Or so they thought.

But then again, they didn't _know_ Madison. The woman was a veritable fountain of optimism and cheer and virtually _nothing_ got her down.

Oh Lennon was just gonna _loooove_ her...

The brunette adjusted her mousy brown ponytail, her left foot tapping impatiently as she watched the numbers on the elevator buttons light up floor by floor.

Twenty one, twenty, nineteen.

She couldn't wait. Really, _really_ couldn't wait. This was going to be the beginning of her six month trial period, where she would be set up with a team that would teach her everything she needed to know about the fandoms.

Eighteen, seventeen, sixteen.

Madison had spent a lot of quality time with her Anti Plot Bunny Agency Handbook over the past two days, studying it from cover to cover, gleaning every ounce of information humanly possible from it. She was going to be the best agent _ever_.

Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen.

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!

When the elevator hit twelve, the doors opened and a frazzled looking black haired woman, not all that much older than Madison, was standing outside waiting.

Her dark eyes got big behind her glasses the second she spotted the amount of people in the small space.

The fact that the woman had claustrophobia was so clear to Madison that she might as well have had it tattooed on her forehead. The new Buster felt her heart go out to the other woman momentarily as she tried to decide whether she was in a big enough hurry to climb into the sardine can that was the elevator.

"Come _on_ Fisk," one of the agents in the elevator said to the woman impatiently, "Move it or lose it. I'm in a hurry here."

The woman narrowed her eyes at the man who had spoken before she defiantly stepped into the elevator.

Fisk, as Madison was now calling her in her head, since that was clearly her last name and Madison hated not having names to put to things and people (hence her bad habit of nicknaming _everything_), had ended up standing right next to Madison.

Madison had withdrawn from her as much as possible so as not to make her feel more boxed in than she most likely already did.

She was just nice like that.

"I hear they're setting you up with a new team today, Fisk," the agent who had spoken to Fisk before said nonchalantly, "Can't believe they're actually letting you back out into the field after your last disciplinary hearing. The higher ups must be slipping."

"Back off, Burg," she replied, her eyes darting from the small room around her to the lights on the floor indicators, "You're just upset I got the Sci-Fi transfer that _you_ wanted."

Madison was _trying_ to be polite and not eavesdrop, but the fact that Fisk was being assigned to the Sci-Fi/Fantasy division, the same as she herself was, piqued her interest.

The smug, smarmy man retorted, "Hence my assertion that the guys in charge are losing it."

Madison instinctively inched away a little further at the glare that Fisk sent in Burg's direction. If she'd had heat vision, he would've been set alight in nanoseconds.

"You might want to watch what you say about the guys on the upper levels, Burg. You might find yourself working in the archives if you're not careful."

"Ooooh," he mocked her by wiggling his fingers at her, "What're you gonna do, report me?" He smirked at her, oozing that unattractive holier than thou attitude from every pore.

"I don't have to," Fisk replied easily, trying to keep her lip from twitching, out of anger or amusement Madison wasn't sure, "The ghost in the machine will do it for me."

"Ghost in the-"

Fisk pointed at a far off point in the upper left hand corner of the elevator.

Burg looked up to where she was pointing, as did Madison, and saw two small holes in the shiny metal.

"The Central Operating System, Burg. They finished the install last week and it's been online since yesterday." Fisk smirked and lifted one of her eyebrows, which made Madison wonder how it was she managed to do that, "It's recording _everything_."

Two agents who were off in one corner of the elevator, and who had been getting rather handsy over the past few minutes leapt away from each other suddenly at the revelation that they were being watched. Madison had a hard time pushing down a giggle over it _and_ the way that Burg's eyes had gotten so big after Fisk's statement.

The elevator dinged as it reached the fifth floor and Fisk stepped out, a smirk gracing her features, "Say hi to Delgado in the archives for me, Burg. Remind him he still owes me a dinner." She waved condescendingly, wiggling her fingers at him as the silver doors slipped shut.

As the doors slipped shut...

Madison mentally slapped herself. She had been so caught up in the little soap opera going on between Burg and Fisk, that she had managed to miss her own floor.

Some best Buster ever **you** are, you easily distracted thing. She berated herself silently.

Well, there was nothing to do but wait until the elevator went back around again.

----

Ten minutes later, Madison found herself on level five. As she stepped out of the elevator, a voice from her left, old and scratchy from years of cigarette smoking, startled her so badly that she jumped.

"Full name and agent number."

Madison spun and saw that to the left of the elevator, there was a sort of dispatch office behind plate glass where an old woman, with a blue beehive hairdo and puffing away on a slim cigarette in a holder, sat. She was squat and rather toadish, with bright pink rimmed glasses with the lenses so thick that they made her blue eyes look so huge they took up most of her face. There were papers seemingly strewn everywhere on the desk in front of her and Madison had to wonder how she managed to keep anything straight as much of a disarray things seemed to be in.

"Full name and agent number." The old woman croaked again, more impatiently than before.

The brunette straightened up, "Madison Margery Nelson. Agent number four two zero five three."

"You're assigned to team forty seven. Go down that hallway," the old woman pointed down a corridor behind Madison, "take two lefts and a right. The Embarkation Rooms are right there. Your new team will be waiting."

Madison looked down the hallway before she turned back to look at the woman, "I'm sorry to bother you, but do you know who I'll be-"

"Sorry, I'm on my break." The old woman declared as she pulled a shade down behind the plate glass.

"Thanks for the help," Madison mumbled before starting off down the corridor.

The embarkation level was probably the most sterile of all the floors at the APBA. Everything was white and clean and smelled like a hospital. It wasn't just _white_ either, it was that starched fresh white that gives off a glare when the fluorescent lights hit it. There were doors evenly spaced on either side of the corridor, each of them leading, presumably, to a different fandom. On the side of each doorway, there was a retinal scanner and a handprint identification device, in addition to the vocal recognition software in place to keep field agents and _only_ field agents going out into the field.

Never let it be said that security measures at the APBA were lax.

Female voices drifted down the hallway to Madison as she rounded the second corner that she was supposed to.

"So this is your _first_ command?" The first said disbelievingly, "I mean...your _first_...as in **first**?"

"There a problem with that?" A second, rougher slightly older voice asked.

"Well...no. I just assumed I'd be set up with someone more...experienced." The first voice said, only mildly contrite.

"Why? Is this your first time in the fandoms? Need a CO to hold your hand?"

There was a loud snort that echoed down the hallway, "I got two years in the field under my belt. In the _Horror_ fandoms...if there's ever been someone who _doesn't_ need her hand held, it's me."

"Horror fandoms...nice. I've got a background in Cop 'Verses and Sci-Fi, myself."

Madison rounded the last corner and found the source of the two voices. The first belonged to the woman that she had been eavesdropping on in the elevator, Fisk.

The second, gruffer voice belonged to a woman who stood several inches taller than Fisk. Her hair was the most outrageously cartoonish shade of red that Madison had ever laid eyes on. It was like someone had attacked her head with a Crayola. She was athletic and very professional looking in her black uniform and black leather vest, complete with a sidearm strapped on each thigh and fingerless gloves.

"Well, well, well," Fisk glanced at her watch, "Look who _finally_ decided to show up."

Madison gave her a slightly apologetic smile, "I uh...got lost."

Fisk narrowed her eyes, studying Madison intently, "You were in the same elevator with me, weren't you?"

"Um..yes..but I still got kinda turned around and-"

Fisk threw her hands in the air and spoke seemingly to herself, "She has no sense of direction...oh joy."

The redhead spared the other woman a slight warning glare before she stuck her hand out to Madison, "I'm Charlotte Walker. Your new CO."

Madison brightened up and shook Charlotte's hand vigorously, "Madison Nelson."

She turned and offered her hand to Fisk, "Madison Nelson."

"I heard you the first time," Fisk said, eyeing Madison's proffered hand suspiciously for a moment before taking it briefly, "I'm Lennon Fisk. Technology division." Lennon withdrew her hand from the younger woman, "What division are you with, by the way?"

"I don't have one yet," Madison answered.

The two elder women glanced at each other in confusion.

"But then that means you're-" Lennon stepped back away from Madison, "You're still a _cadet_?"

"No, not exactly. I just got out of the academy last week. This is my first training mission."

"Don't they usually set up training missions with _established_ teams?" Lennon asked, puzzlement clear in her tone.

"You mean you two aren't an established team?" Madison asked, her confusion in competition with her excitement.

"No," Lennon gestured at herself and then at Charlotte, "We just met for the first time like two minutes ago."

"This is _highly_ irregular," Charlotte said as she considered the facts that had just been presented to her.

Lennon let out a shriek when a hand came to rest on her shoulder suddenly. Madison saw that the old woman who had directed her from that small dispatch office near the elevator had come up behind Lennon and had half scared her to death.

"Florence, you old bag, don't sneak up on me like that!" Lennon gasped a few times and clutched her chest, "Are you tryin' to give me a heart attack or what?"

The blue haired old lady scoffed, "You gotta have a heart before you can have an attack."

"Oh, bite me old woman." Lennon shrugged out of Florence's grasp and adjusted the shoulders of the tee-shirt.

"I'd rather not, Fisk." Florence glared at Lennon from behind thick, hot pink framed glasses before she turned to Charlotte, "To answer your question, Walker, this is part of a new program set up by Molinaro. He wants to see how resourceful inexperienced agents are without the advantage of an established team to show them the ropes."

"So, what, just toss us together and hope it takes?" Lennon asked, her jaw agape.

"Basically," Florence answered simply as she adjusted her glasses, "He's hoping that this new program will get him noticed by the higher ups for its innovativeness...wants a promotion, if you ask me."

"Power hungry little skunk," Lennon muttered under her breath.

Florence glared disapprovingly at the geek, "Either way, you three are going to have to make it work." She held out a file folder to each of them in turn, "Your first assignment together."

Madison opened the file right away and started reading. It wasn't very informative, if we're being honest, and held only about three paragraphs of information on their mission when all was said and done.

Florence looked at the geek pointedly, "I assume you know this weeks fandom access passwords?"

"Of course," Lennon sniped as she read through her dossier, "I've got all fifty two sets memorized for this year, you know that."

A light above the doorway in front of which the four were standing lit up suddenly and flashed at regular intervals.

"That's your cue, girls." Florence pointed at the flashing blue light, "Enter the passwords and then enter the fandom."

"Yes Ma'am," Both Charlotte and Madison said respectfully.

Lennon just flipped her hand at the old woman dismissively as she shut her file folder and stepped up to the door, "I know the drill."

The retinal scanner activated as Madison placed her palm on the print scanner. It kind of tickled as the super sensitive field read her palm print. After Madison's identity was confirmed, Charlotte stepped up to the scanner and repeated the process, and then Lennon after that.

"Team identity confirmed," the computer said in an English accent, "Password sequence confirmation beginning."

Madison knew of the password sequencing process. Every week, there was a new set of six passwords required to enter the fandoms. The sequence had to be delivered in a specific order for the computer to accept it as valid so she knew the importance of keeping quiet and not distracting the password keeper.

"First password please." The computer said.

Lennon cleared her throat, "Logan Five."

"Confirmed. Second password please."

"Jessica Six."

"Confirmed. Third password please."

Lennon screwed up her face momentarily as she forced her memory into working, "Box."

"Confirmed. Fourth password please."

"Ankh."

"Confirmed. Fifth password please."

"Renew."

"Confirmed. Final password please."

"Sanctuary."

"Password sequence confirmed. You are now cleared to enter the fandom."

The white door slid upwards, opening with a typical sci-fi-ish 'Shluck' noise.

"Good luck, girls." Florence said to the three before she walked off purposefully.

Charlotte stepped foreword, "Shall we?"

-------

A/N:Wahaha! I got a Logan's Run reference in there...oh God I've been wanting to do that _forever_. I love that movie. Yay for young Michael York! Also got a ref to my favorite movie of ALL time -does little happy dance- 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' so..yeah, you could say I'm satisfied with this chapter.

Oh, and why is it all computers on like, _everything_ have accents? Hm? I went to the ATM the other day and it was ENGLISH. I swear to you, it actually spoke in an English accent. It was _weird_.

Ghost in the Machine is an episode of the X-Files in which a super intelligent computer kills people (loads of action in an elevator, hence the reference). It also marks the first episode in which Scully fires her weapon, a uh...-thinks- Smith and Wesson 1056, if I'm not mistaken.

Oh God, I'm ashamed I actually know that. BUT that tends to happen when one owns a file cabinet with X-Files _files_ in it. I could probably tell you Frohike's shoe size if you wanted me to.

Run from me. Run far FAR away while you're still as sane as you are! Quick! Before some of the crazy rubs off!

-cough- Well, now that my little bit of melodramatic fangirliness is over...anyone care to guess what 'Verse our three are going to enter into first? Heehehehehee. Still taking suggestions of universes and situations by the way, so keep 'em comin'.


	3. The One That Started It All

Lennon blinked repeatedly.

Her eyes were itching like crazy, but she couldn't scratch them the way she wanted without doing serious damage to the delicate orbs.

So she opted for blinking rapidly instead.

It felt like the insides of her eyelids were made of sandpaper as they scraped across the surface of her eyeball.

God but she hated wearing contact lenses. What she would've given to have her hideous old coke bottle framed glasses right about then. Comfort was always higher up on Lennon's list than aesthetic value.

plus, she thought the geeky things were kinda cute looking. No one will ever be able to tell why.

However, in this particular fandom, glasses would've made her stick out like a sore thumb.

Not that she blended in very well to begin with, but better to avoid _adding_ to the problem.

The geek blinked several times. In addition to her eyes itching like mad, the rest of her felt itchy as well and she had to force down the urge to start scratching herself everywhere that her uniform touched.

Who ever heard of velour as _the_ clothing of the twenty third century?

Or was it twenty fourth? She'd never been very good at keeping the generations straight.

And this outfit was drafty. Geez, could this skirt have been any shorter? Another quarter inch and she wouldn't have been able to do so much as sneeze modestly.

"Something wrong, Yeoman Green?"

Lennon made a conscious effort to not look like she wanted to crawl out of her own skin, which was pretty hard given her current condition, "No Captain. Nothing at all."

Kirk handed the tabletish thing back to her after looking it over and Lennon stepped away from the captain's chair towards the turbolift, nearly knocking into a red shirt on the way.

Once inside the Turbolift, she gave a small sigh of relief. A _very_ small sigh, since she was now in a small enclosed space which currently felt like it was closing in on her.

"Deck fifteen."

The lift moved much faster than Lennon thought it would, and she quickly walked to the quarters that she had been assigned.

The doors to the room opened with the world's oldest mechanical door 'Shluck' sound, and she entered to find her new teammates waiting.

"I am never coming here again. Never, ever, ever, _ever!_"

Madison looked slightly muddled, "What's the matter? I kinda like it here."

"This uniform is absolute hell, for a start." Lennon finally gave into the urge to scratch, making satisfied little noises as some of the itch subsided.

"They're not that bad," Charlotte, who was sitting on the space-agey plastic chair that looked like it belonged in a Laundromat, said.

Lennon looked at her commanding officer, "Oh yeah right...you don't have any troubles. You're wearing blue scrubs, for cryin' out loud. _Both_ of you. I'm the one that's wearing the traditional 'Here, kill me before the opening credits to prove that the situation is dire!' color. Just beggin' to get a phaser blast to the back of the head."

Lennon slipped out of the black go-go boots she'd been wearing all day, "And this hair...my God. I've got enough Aqua Net in it to be held single handedly responsible for the hole in the ozone layer."

Charlotte's upper lip tried to twitch in amusement but she shoved it back down, replacing the humor with snark, "A good thing we're in space then, isn't it?"

Lennon gave Charlotte a long-suffering look and sighed before she flopped down on one of the other chairs in the room, this one being an opaque inflatable deal with no arms, "Yeah, which brings to bear the question of how the environmental controls can possible handle this much hairspray being used on a daily basis by all the female crew members without blowing up."

"I think the beehive looks nice on you," Madison said cheerily as she adjusted her own overly hair sprayed coiffeur, "And to be honest...even though I know it's a little over done, I kinda like it."

Lennon looked at the rookie in horror, "Oh God...the fumes must've affected her judgment."

Charlotte outwardly glared at Lennon while giggling a little inside, "So anyway...your mission to the bridge?"

Lennon cleared her throat, "Went off without a hitch. Amazingly."

"You sound disappointed," Madison said, tilting her head at the geek.

"I am rather," Lennon said, "It means I spent most of the day under cover in this ridiculous get-up amongst canons for nothing. That tends to make me more than a little irritable." The geek tucked her legs under herself as best she could in the uncomfortable, futuristic chair she was currently occupying, "To be honest, I'm getting kind of annoyed at this 'verse in general. I mean, we _know_ there's a Sue infestation, but with the way this place is written, I can barely tell them from the guest canons. They're _all_ impossibly pretty and fall madly in love with a canon character."

"Good rule of thumb. if it looks like they'll live happily ever after, then they're a Sue." Charlotte scratched the neck of her scrub top, "Remember, the canons _never_ live happily ever after with _each other_. Sense of duty and responsibility always win out with Starfleet officers and as such, happiness and domestic bliss just isn't in the cards."

Lennon lifted an eyebrow, "And you would know this how?"

"I've done this once before. Not this particular series, but the rules are the same in every ST 'verse."

"Oh."

Several blaring klaxons suddenly broke out all over the ship and the three bunny busters were on their feet in nanoseconds.

Madison looked at her superior, "What is it?"

"A red alert," Charlotte answered before she picked up the Phaser that was lying on the table nearest her, "We should go check it out."

Lennon slipped back into her boots and the three poked their heads out into the corridor outside.

"Hey!" Lennon called out to a passing nameless, nearly faceless crewman, "What's goin' on?"

He looked at her for a split second, said "There's tribbles clog dancing in the mess hall!" and then rushed off to go wherever it was that he was supposed to go.

The three women turned to each other, Madison asking a question which might have gotten her killed in Trekkie circles, "Tribbles? What on Earth is a tribble?"

---------

A/N:Contact lenses scare me. I never _ever_ want to wear them after all the horror stories I've heard.

And I do think my coke bottle frames are like, totally teh cuteness. Regardless of what everyone _else_ says. I have this whole Adam Savage/Langly/Garth Algaar vibe goin' on and I like it.

ANYWAY! I _had_ to start the girls out in the one that started it all. Trek. It's had a positively insane impact on my young life. I watched nothing but Trek and Batman as a kid and it's affected me more than I'd like to admit. For instance, I have this bad habit, when I'm excitedly talking.

I'll pause for the longest time in mid-sentence and then...rushallmywordsoutonerightaftertheother. My speech patterns are so weird that I, in short, talk like Captain Kirk.

I was only made aware of this fact a few months ago, actually. I forced my cousin to watch several episodes of Star Trek with me (it was her first time and I was out to convert her) and she pointed it out.

"Dude...TechTech, you sound _just_ like Kirk!" -points and laughs- The similarities and teasing didn't stop there though...

Apparently, I walk like him too. God I'm _so_ messed up.

Right. -cough- Too much information, I bet. Yes? Yes.

Oh and the itchy uniforms thing...so totally true. They were made of the world's worst material (according to Shatner's 'Star Trek Memories' at least) and I can sympathize heartily. I feel so sorry for any actor under hot lights in something uncomfortable and itchy, been there, done that. What else? Tribbles clog dancing in the mess hall is from Shatner's book 'Get A Life' which I've read more times than I should. There's a Galaxy Quest reference in there too. Heh.

Any good?


	4. Back To The When?

The car skidded across the parking lot, coming to a complete stop mere moments before it would have collided with a rather sturdy looking brick wall.

And that, needless to say, would have been _bad_.

In fact, on my list of things I never, _ever_ want to do, colliding with a brick wall while inside a vehicle that's traveling at eighty eight miles per hour is definitely up there towards the top. Right between being eaten by a killer shark and socializing with circus clowns.

Seriously...clowns are _creepy_.

On second thought, socializing with clowns is higher up on the list than killer sharks _or_ colliding with a brick wall.

_Anyways..._

The wing like passenger side door opened and Lennon and Charlotte tumbled out onto the pavement, the commander landing awkwardly on her subordinates back.

"Oh I am _never_ doing that again," the geek grumbled.

Charlotte blinked a few times, "I think... I think I'm going to throw up."

"Well try and get off of _me_ before you do, huh?" Lennon shifted and tried to get up on her hands and knees, but found that she was so woozy she couldn't support her own weight.

The drivers side door of the Delorian opened and Madison bounded out, grinning from ear to ear. "That. Was. FANTASTIC!" She squealed excitedly, "Did you see? Did you watch? When we hit eighty eight miles per hour?"

Charlotte staggered to her feet, and pulled Lennon up off the ground by the back of her shirt.

"Eighty eight my tuckus! You were going at least a hundred and twenty!" Lennon swayed on her feet and leaned on Charlotte's arm for support.

Which was a bad idea, since Charlotte was just as disoriented as her comrade. As such, the two of them very nearly toppled to the ground again.

"Where did you get your license, Nelson? A cereal box?" Lennon shook her head a few times before shoving her glasses up on her head and pressing her palms to her eyes.

"It's _Madison_," the brunette said as she grinned and grabbed Lennon by the shoulders to steady her, "And I don't have a license."

"Oh well _that_ explains it."

There was an exaggerated gasp from somewhere nearby and the three spun (well, two of them sorta stumbled rather than _spun_) around to see a man, his wild hair a snowy white and his eyes wide with surprise and excitement.

He pointed at them, his hand shaking out of unbridled exhilaration, "The Delorian! Great Scott! You're from the future!"

"Are you-" Charlotte wobbled on her feet slightly, "Doctor Brown?"

"Yes!" he practically screamed in his enthusiasm, "Yes I am! Who are _you_?"

Madison grinned, "We-"

Lennon kicked her in the shin before she turned to Brown, "We can't tell you that. Just by talking to you we're contaminating the timeline. But then again you knew that already."

He nodded sagely, the nervous energy coming off him in waves. "Oh, yes, yes, naturally. Of _course_. How stupid of me," He waved the three of them off, "You shouldn't be talking to me at all. In fact-" he pointed at them, "the less contact you have with me, the better."

He started to walk off but he stopped in mid-stride and turned back to face the three, "How far into the future? I've already been foreword about thirty years as well as back almost a hundred. I don't remember any of you in either instance."

"Uh," Madison turned to look at Lennon, "What year is it here again?"

"How should I know? You're the one who was driving...and I use the term loosely."

"The internal time clocks should-wait a minute...you don't know how far you traveled back and you had to _ask_ me who I was? That means you don't know me, the very creator of the device which jettisoned you back in time! You must be from far, _far_ into the future! From a time when I'm no longer the sole possessor of a time traveling Delorian."

He narrowed his eyes at Lennon momentarily, "And yet the Ramones tee-shirt you're wearing seems to be contradictory to that theory."

Lennon glanced down at herself. "It's vintage," she said by way of explanation, "But that's _really_ not important right now. Neither is where-or rather _when_ we came from. Something else arrived here in _this_ time that doesn't belong."

"So you've come to retrieve it! Of course!" The madman in front of them put his hands on his head and then flailed them away from himself before he started pacing back and forth swiftly.

"I think the guy is on speed," Lennon mumbled to Charlotte behind her hand.

"What is it you're looking for? The faster you find it and get back to your own time, the less chance you have of ruining the timeline."

Lennon quickly concocted a cover story that should have come off as reasonable, "Well, genetic mutation is big in the-"

"Don't tell me specifics, my dear, just the basics."

The geek was kind of disappointed that she wouldn't get to actually _use_ the aforementioned brilliant lie, since it _was_ one of her better ones, but she gave it up and went for the short version, "Uh...we're looking for a bunny."

Brown looked at Lennon like she'd flipped her wig, "A...bunny. As in a rabbit. Lagomorphus."

"Hey, buddy, don't look at me like I've lost it. It's a genetically mutated bunny from a top secret-"

The nut in front of them stuck his fingers in his ears and started saying 'La la la! I can't heeeear you!', which, while Lennon understood his position on hearing about future events, she found it rude just the same.

Madison turned to her superior officer while still keeping an amused eye on Brown, "This is gonna be a fun mission, isn't it?"

"Ohhhh yeah...this is gonna be a barrel of laughs."

-------------------

A/N:-bites nails- Did I do ok with Doc Brown? I love Christopher Lloyd, so this was agonizing to write for fear of him being OOC or not manic enough. -grimace-

Don't give me a hard time about the chapter length, alright? I consider anything longer than a page to be an accomplishment. Every chapter will be a different size (some really long, others, like this one, not so much) based on how much plot I can possibly push within the fandom.

Any scenes that you'd like to see, well if you _tell_ me about them, I might be able to work them in, however, so far I'm just using _my_ ideas...and considering how many of the clichés and such that I've already tackled in WPBA (and will continue to tackle), it's hard to keep it fresh.

Exhausting as well...so you know, keep that in mind before you SHOUT at me. I'm probably going to go back and revise the ST chapter at some point, with some more stuff, but right now I can't think of anything. My Muse is _begging_ for a vacation, because he's so overworked, underpaid and under appreciated.

A bigger Kvetch you'll never meet, I'm telling you.

Anyways! I'm still taking suggestions (and will be throughout the story) and I promise that ninety nine point nine percent of them will be considered and most likely used. So if you have a hankering to see one of the Busters in a situation, let me know. I'll see what I can do.


	5. Let's All Play Pretend

"I have never, in my entire life, seen anyone quite so fascinated by an ice cream cone," Lennon said as she watched the man at the ice cream stand across the street through her binoculars.

"Well, what do you expect, Fisk? He's never had one before." Charlotte adjusted the focus on her own binoculars as she aimed them out of one of the vans tinted windows opposite her subordinate.

Lennon brought her binoculars down and stared off into space, "Life without ice cream...that's no life at all."

"Mind on the mission," Charlotte scolded, knowing instinctively that Lennon had stopped looking at the canon and was now staring off into space, visions of chocolate chip cookie dough dancing in her head.

Lennon snapped out of it and went back to watching the man across the street, who was sitting at a picnic table type deal that was set up near the ice cream vendor and happily lapping at his chocolate ice cream cone.

She wasn't able to tell much about him from this distance, even with the assistance of her binoculars, since in order to focus the aforementioned equipment, she had to remove her glasses, which made everything rather blurry. What little she _could_ tell, was that he was tall with a slim build and had dark hair.

However, Lennon also knew that he was intensely gorgeous. How could she tell this fact considering that she was unable to see him clearly?

Madison's unabashed drooling and heavy dreamy sighing as she sat next to the geek in the back of the van was a pretty good indication of the man's hotness factor.

"What are we looking for exactly?" Madison asked, not really caring what she was _supposed_ to be looking for, since staring at Jared was so fascinating.

"I'm not sure what _you're_ looking for, but _I_ am looking for a Sue." Lennon sniped as she scanned the crowd in the immediate vicinity of the subject of Madison's interest.

"What's this guy's story anyway?" the youngest buster queried as she unbuckled her pack, reached inside for her soda bottle, unscrewed the cap and took a gulp, all without taking her gaze off the man across the way.

"It's complicated," Lennon replied, clearly indicating with her evasive answer that Techie hadn't seen an episode of The Pretender in over two years and was at a loss as to how to explain the plot to anyone who didn't already know it.

Charlotte cleared her throat, "Jared was part of a top secret government project to exploit the gifts of super intelligent children. They trained the kids to be able to get inside the minds of anyone, to become _anything_, able to slip seamlessly into the roles of Doctors, Lawyers, Reporters...anything they wanted, really. They used these children to reenact different scenarios so that they could better understand the motives behind them. You know...why Lee Harvey Oswald committed the JFK assassination, stuff like that."

There was a snort from somewhere above from _someone_ who doesn't believe for a second that Oswald did it, but Charlotte either didn't hear, or didn't feel like arguing the point and continued with her explanation.

"Jared escaped the project a short time ago, and he's been using his gifts for a greater good. Helping ordinary people while he searches for clues about his own past, _before_ he was at the agency. He's looking for his family and doing good deeds along the way."

Lennon gaped at her CO, "How did you know that when I _didn't_ just seconds ago?"

"Someone ran a quick imdb search," Charlotte replied carelessly.

"Typical," Lennon grumbled, "Spotted anything yet, Nelson?"

"No." Madison sighed and stopped looking at Jared momentarily, "And could you _please_ stop calling me by my last name? I mean...can't we all be on a first name basis? It feels weird to keep calling you 'Fisk' all the time. Ooooh! Can I call you Lenny?"

Lennon dropped her visual equipment and glared at Madison, "How did you-"

"I heard someone in the mess hall call you Lenny yesterday," Madison answered, grinning that she had actually managed to surprise the older woman.

"If you want to start calling me Lenny, then I'm going to start calling you...uh..." Lennon wracked her brain for some kind of shortening of Madison's first name that might irritate her and only came up with, "Madge."

The nickname didn't get the response that Lennon had expected. Madison looked, not upset or annoyed, but positively _thrilled_ with it. "Oh that's fabulous! I like that one! So much better than Maddy or Mad or anything else I've been called before. You can call me Madge and I can call you Lenny! See? We're getting to be buddies already! Now we just have to come up with a nickname for Charlotte."

"Lotta? Lottie? Char? No...those sound _horrible_ and not like Charlotte at all." Madison looked upwards and bit her lower lip, thinking hard, "Charlie! That's a good one! Charlie is a _great_ nickname!"

Lennon looked at Madison with her jaw hanging open before she sighed and turned back to looking out the window.

The CO reached behind herself and tapped the geek on the arm, "I think I've spotted our Sue."

"Where?" Lennon awkwardly shifted in van and leaned over to look out the window that Charlotte was stationed in front of.

A young woman, with impossibly long, luxurious black hair swinging behind her, walked along in a flirty, flouncy pink printed dress with cap sleeves. She was so full of grace that she would have made a swan envious. When she walked, it was the most elegant, fluid movement that Lennon had ever seen, almost like water captured in human form.

"Yup. Definitely a Sue," Lennon said as she watched the woman cross the street and head straight for Jared, ignoring traffic laws left and right.

The geek dropped her binoculars and reached for her backpack for her prized Saturday Night Special, "I'll take this one.

Charlotte snagged Lennon by the sleeve of her tee-shirt, stopping her, "No. That's a bad idea. You can't just go shooting Sues in public."

"Never stopped me before," Lennon answered, dead serious.

"Yeah well, it's stopping you now." Charlotte shook her head, "This isn't like the horror fandoms, Fisk. When people get murdered in broad daylight in front of dozens of witnesses, the authorities actually take notice here."

Lennon snapped her fingers, "Damn. I guess there are some advantages to working in virtually lawless fandoms."

"She's talking to him," Madison said suddenly, interrupting the two elder agents. She gasped, "She's got her hand on his arm and she's leaning in to whisper in his ear!"

Lennon turned to look at Charlotte, "Alright fearless leader, you say we can't just go shoot her, what do we do?"

The commander thought for a moment before speaking.

"Go jump in traffic."

"EXCUSE ME?"

"Oh!" Madison dropped her binoculars and spun around, waving one hand excitedly, "I'll do it!"

Lennon looked at her two teammates in horror, "Have you both gone insane?"

"Relax, Lenny. It'll be fine."

"She just ordered you to jump in the middle of traffic, **MOVING** traffic, and you're telling me it'll be _fine_?" Lennon reached over and put the back of her hand to Madison's forehead, "Have you got a fever or something? You could be killed!"

Madison swatted Lennon's hand away, "I'll be alright. Jared will save me. It's part of his character."

"You're counting on a _canon_ to save your life? A canon! Do you hear yourself?" Lennon threw her hands in the air, "Forget what I said about a fever, the woman has a tumor!"

"Look, the guy has an impeccable track record when it comes to saving damsels in distress. Now we've already got a damsel," Charlotte indicated Madison with a wave of her hand, "We just need to put her in distress. Hence the throwing herself into traffic thing. It'll give us the diversion we need in order to get to the Sue, as well as getting the canon out of her clutches."

"Yeah," Madison said eagerly, "Two birds with one stone."

Lennon was speechless for several seconds and had to fight to get her vocabulary working again, "You're both a few cans short of a six pack! This'll never work!"

Madison put her hand gently on Lennon's arm, almost reassuringly and smiled, "Lenny, one of the first rules of teamwork is trust. Now, both Charlie and I-" Lennon saw Charlotte wince slightly out of the corner of her eye at use of the nickname, "-think this is a good idea, unorthodox though it may be. You just have to trust our judgment."

"Oh yes, trust the judgment of the mad women, yes, why didn't _I_ think of that?"

"Don't worry, Lenny. This _will_ work." The brunette slid the door open on the van and hopped out onto the sidewalk, "I promise."

Charlotte followed, beckoning to Lennon behind her.

"Nuts...they're both _nuts_," Lennon complained, more to herself than anyone else, as she climbed out of the van behind her teammates and slid the door shut, "Why do they all flock to me? Hm? Is it my perfume that attracts them or something?"

--------

A/N:Madge, Madge, Madge..shame on you girl, so easily distracted by a hot guy. -shakes head-

Though I'll have to take her word for it. I never found Jared the least bit attractive -dodges the knives tossed at her by angry Jared fangirls-. I was always more of a Sydney girl myself. I'm _all_ about accents. Rawr.

Ahem, yes. Forget you ever read that.


	6. Irate Valociraptors Can Be Dangerous

"Dinosaurs! Who ever heard of a fantasy show with dinosaurs!" Lennon dove behind a rock, only narrowly escaping the sharp teeth of the huge reptile on her heels.

"Hold still, Fisk!" Charlotte shouted from her vantage point in the canopy above the geek. The CO was perched in the tree tops, trying desperately to get a clear shot at the beast that was currently chasing her teammate.

"Oh yeah! Great idea! I'll just sit still and volunteer to be his next meal! 'Oh, hi Mister Velociraptor! I'm Lenny Fisk and would you like soup or salad with me?'." Lennon let out a yelp when the beast grabbed hold of the leg of her jeans and gave a sharp yank, pulling her back out into the clearing from which she'd just retreated.

"I can't get a clear shot, you just have to trust me! Hold still!"

"Clear shot? HOW CAN YOU NOT GET A CLEAR SHOT!" Lennon kicked the raptor in the head with her free leg as it dragged her along by the other, "It's a dinosaur! It's the size of a Volkswagen! SHOOT IT!" She kicked the beast in the head again and it shook her violently by her pants leg.

A shot rang out across the clearing, _much_ louder than Charlotte's nine millimeter could have possibly made, and the raptor turned towards the source of the noise.

Sadly, Lennon's jeans were still hung up on it's teeth, so she got pulled along as it moved and ended up with a face full of dirt and forest floor debris.

"There's a good boy, now let the lady down and we can settle this man to beast."

Lennon couldn't see the face of whoever it was that had shot at the monster that had ahold of her leg, but his accent was decidedly British in origin.

"No offense pal, but I really don't think he's going to listen to-AAAAH!" The raptor thrashed it's head violently and Lennon got flip flopped on the ground, "I am **so** quitting this job!"

Another shot rang out and the raptor hit the forest floor, roaring angrily at it's injury. It thrashed a few more times and it clawed the air as another shotgun shell hit it. The beast was rendered immobile by one more shell and Lennon was finally able to take a breath since she was no longer being flung about like an old rag doll.

She groaned, rolled over on her back and spat out the dirt and debris that had found its way into her mouth throughout her wrestling match with the raptor.

A hand, masculine in size and structure, found its way into her field of vision and she looked up the length of the arm that it was attached to, finding a ruggedly good looking, scruffy fellow in his early thirties.

Under ordinary circumstances, Lennon would've told him where to stick his chivalry, but she was exhausted and took his hand because she just didn't have the strength to fight with him about it.

"How do you feel?" He asked, seeming genuinely concerned as he helped her to her feet.

"I just got dragged around the rain forest floor by a reptile the size of my apartment, how do you _think_ I feel?" Lennon put her hands on the small of her back and leaned back a little, feeling something crack that probably shouldn't have.

"I'm Lord John Roxton." He gave a small curt bow, which was greeted by a patented Lennon Fisk 'Are you _serious_?' look, "And you are?"

She eyed him warily for a moment before she stuck her hand out to the Englishman. "Lennon McFly," She said, while spitting out a few more bits of dirt and various other materials she didn't want to think about.

He kissed the hand she offered rather than shaking it, which garnered another skeptical look from the geek, "You're an American."

"Oh wow, what an astute observation," she replied derisively, shifting uncomfortably as he pressed his lips to the back of her hand.

He just smirked at her show of sarcasm.

"I'd like that hand back sometime today, you know."

Roxton smiled at her charmingly and released the limb.

"Er...thanks for killin' it." Lennon said, motioning at the animal in question.

"Anything for a lady as lovely as you."

Lennon tried to keep her eyes from rolling, she really, _really_ did, but she just couldn't, "You should get glasses, your vision must be faulty."

Charlotte, meanwhile, had been using the time during this exchange to climb down from the canopy and dropped right in front of her teammate and the man who had saved her.

Lennon crossed her arms over her chest, "So nice of you to join me on the ground now that the irate Velociraptor is out of commission."

Roxton had his weapon trained on Charlotte within an instant of her unannounced entrance into the scene. Lennon put her hand over the muzzle of the rifle and pushed it down, "Relax, buddy, she's with me."

He eyed the redhead cautiously and lowered his gun a fraction of an inch, "You're with an expedition party then, are you?"

The geek and her CO glanced at each other briefly, both of them coming to a snap decision that this was the perfect opportunity for a cover story that would fly with the canons of the universe.

"Yes. We are," Charlotte put her hand out in a gesture of friendship, "I'm Charlotte Brown."

Roxton gave her the once over once more, before he bowed just as he had for Lennon, took her hand and kissed it as well.

Charlotte looked at her teammate, her eyes betraying her thoughts of 'Is this guy for real?'.

Lennon shrugged, just as baffled by the gentlemanly but still quite roguish behavior from the fellow in front of them.

A few seconds later though, her attention was suddenly diverted by someone walking up behind the man in front of she and Charlotte, and she couldn't help the surprised exclamation that escaped her lips.

"My God, Madison, what happened to _you_?"

The young brunette wiped her wet hair out of her eyes, and tried to unrumple her clothes, which were sticking to her slight frame as though attached with glue.

"I landed in a swamp," Madison said while jabbing a thumb behind herself, "about half a mile that way."

She dropped her voice a level and said to her comrades, "I think there might be something wrong with the fandom entrance for this 'verse."

"Yeah I know. I wound up in a tree," Charlotte answered quietly, as she tried to extract her hand from the Englishman's grasp.

"Oh please, she's wet and you have splinters. Big deal, I got-"

"How many were there in your party?" Roxton asked when he noted that Madison had wandered up, conveniently moving the story along.

"There were-"

"Well we-"

"We're the only survivors," Charlotte said loudly, cutting her teammates off before they could contradict one another, and thusly blow their cover.

Not that their cover was going to remain intact for very long anyway, considering the fact that they had literally been dropped into the 'verse and hadn't been given the time or opportunity to change into something a little more era appropriate.

So far though, it seemed that the English lord didn't really give their appearance much thought, other than the fact that they were female, so they were safe...

Lennon wobbled a little on her feet suddenly and leaned on Charlotte for support. "Ow, damn." She bent over and put her hands on her knees, suddenly noticing something she hadn't before, "Whoa. That's a _lot_ of blood. No wonder I'm woozy."

The whole left leg of her jeans was drenched where the dinosaur had grabbed her, indicating that she had lost quite a bit of blood. It was amazing that she hadn't realized it before, but then again, she had been a little preoccupied, what with the being dragged around on the ground thing and all.

Madison noticed it as well and gasped, "What happened?"

Lennon straightened out again and waved her hand at the now dead raptor, "That happened."

Charlotte suddenly remembered herself and set aside every thought other than those dealing with the welfare of her team, "Lord Roxton, I don't suppose that you have somewhere where we could take Lennon to treat her injuries, do you?"

"Yes as a matter of fact," he said, eying the bloodied limb appraisingly, "However I don't think she'll make it as far as the tree house on her own legs." He swung his gun over his shoulder and advanced on the geek, "I'll have to carry her."

Lennon's eyes went wide and she tried to take a step back, grimacing when she found that the pain in her leg worsened when she put weight on it. "That's ok, I'll just use Charlotte as a crutch. I'll be-" she sucked air through her teeth suddenly as she took another step, "I'll be fine."

"I find you to be less than convincing in your assurances that you'll be fine, madam. Besides, I would be neglecting my gentlemanly duty if I _didn't_ offer my assistance." He rolled up his sleeves, intent on picking Lennon up.

She still tried to back away, but found it much harder than she originally anticipated, "Alright, no. The bowing I could handle, I'll even let the hand kissing thing go, but I draw the line at being carried, and I-hey!"

Roxton had leaned over and scooped Lennon up in his arms.

"You put me down! HEY!"

"The tree house is to the north a ways." Roxton motioned off in the distance as best he could with his arms full of struggling, griping geek, "Challenger will have some medical supplies and she can be treated there."

Madison and Charlotte fell into step on either side of Roxton as he started off.

"I'm fine, _really_. Put me down!" Lennon groused as she tried to struggle her way out of his firm grip.

"Enjoy it while you can, Lenny," Madison said with a grin, "It's not every day that a handsome, rugged Englishman literally sweeps you off your feet."

----------------

A/N: Don't let me listen to Weird Al. Ever. It results in things like this. The song 'Jurassic Park' is largely to blame. Now, I easily could've put the girls in _that_ universe, because it's more well known, but I _loved_ the series 'The Lost World', and it just wouldn't have been right if they didn't stop by. They still show it on TNT, actually. Really _really_ early in the morning, along with The Pretender. If you ever have insomnia at like four in the morning, check it out. Totally worth it, I _promise_.

I wish they'd put them on DVD, actually. Hm. Time to start a petition, methinks.

I had _so_ much planned for the girls in this universe. I had this like, emotionally charged, dramatic exchange going on, in addition to a bunch of humor and it went on for like, six more pages, but it just...I tried and tried and tried to make it work, but it just wouldn't cooperate. So, I did the most painful thing a writer can do...I let it all go.

It almost killed me because it was _so_ good. But, that is the nature of the beast...one must know when to let go, regardless of how much it hurts.

-puts her hand to her chest- Ouchies. Well, maybe someday, via the magic of revisions, all the things I wanted to put in will come to fruition (I still have them all saved in WordPad and God are they _good_). In the meantime, however, I think it's a pretty nice little (keyword _little_) look at one of my favorite shows. I just hope Roxton was in character...ah Roxton. He's like Hugh Jackman but cuter.

Yes, that _is_ possible. Just...go watch the show.


	7. Getting To Know You

Poker night was a serious deal at the APBA. Most agents stayed on base five nights out of the week, only going home on the weekends, so finding something to do on your off time was important if you wanted to remain sane.

Although, for some, that ship had already sailed.

Anyway.

There were several small groups of agents who joined together to play cards a couple nights a week, and Lennon was a member of one of them.

It wasn't D&D, but at least it was something to do between missions.

Although, now that Lennon thought about it, the time between missions was getting shorter and shorter lately. She hadn't been able to go home for God only knows how long, staying in the on-base quarters instead.

After being with a new team for almost two weeks, spending four days in the Star Trek universe (three of those spent in sickbay after a rabid, fanged Tribble attacked her and tore her shoulder wide open), followed by two days each in Back To The Future, The Lost World, and The Pretender, Lennon _desperately_ needed a distraction.

So, poker it was.

Tonight, the group was going to be meeting in her quarters, so she had to play hostess. She had set up the card table in the center of the living room-ish portion of her room, along with five folding chairs and another small table nearby for bowlfuls of pretzels, chips, dips and other attractive munchables.

Her on-base quarters might not have been the fanciest, or the best decorated, but by God, when poker night rolled around, they certainly had _the_ best food.

As she finished setting out the last of the snacks, there was a knock at her door.

She practically bounced across the room to answer it. Now, I say _practically_, because Lennon wouldn't be caught dead bouncing excitedly for anything, as it would, no doubt, ruin her hardcore reputation.

She flung wide the door and found a man standing there. He was five foot ten, with short, carrot red spiky hair and a nicely muscled build. Not muscle bound, but you could tell he worked out on a regular basis. He smiled when Lennon opened the door and her eyes went wide with pleasant surprise.

"Sebastian!" Lennon said happily, as the two of them embraced each other briefly, "I thought it was going to be Robert coming tonight!"

"It was, but when I heard it was going to be _you_ throwing this particular little shindig, I begged to trade assignments with him. He's off gallivanting through the Buffyverse with Beverly tonight."

Lennon tilted her head, "So then Bev isn't coming either?"

He shook his head and Lennon frowned.

"Don't look so down, I might start to think that you didn't miss me."

Lennon slapped him playfully on the arm, "It's not that. Although you'll _never_ get me to admit _that_. I was just hoping to touch bases with Beverly, that's all. I haven't seen her in over a year, since she was transferred out of horror, you know."

"She'll be on-base next weekend," Sebastian replied as he stepped into Lennon's quarters fully, shutting the door behind him.

"Yeah, but _I_ might not be. I've got a new team and I've been...well, let's go with 'busy'." Lennon walked over to the card table and folded up one of the chairs, which was no longer needed now that one of the poker game attendants wouldn't be...attending.

Sebastian grabbed a handful of chips and plopped down on one of the other chairs. "Who else is comin' tonight?" He asked, motioning at the three empty seats.

"Just my new comrades," the geek replied as she popped the cap on a Jones cream soda and sat down next to him, "They kinda invited themselves."

"Oh really? And you weren't able to _uninvite_ them? These two I **have** to meet."

Lennon took a swig of her soda and propped her feet up on one of the empty chairs, "I didn't really want to uninvite them. I mean, I don't care who I end up scamming out of their paycheck. It's all easy money to me."

"Sounds like they've managed to grow on you, Lenny."

"Bite your tongue. I barely know 'em."

There was another knock at the door, this one the traditional 'shave and a haircut, two bits' shtick.

Lennon had a pretty good idea of who it was.

"C'mon in!" She called before taking another drink from her soda bottle

The door opened and Madison bounded in, grinning, "I brought cookies!" and waved a paper sack filled, presumably, with the sweets.

Lennon put her hand over her face, embarrassed by Madison's bubbly, cheery personality asserting itself.

"Lenny, I didn't know you were paired up with June Cleaver," Sebastian teased.

"Cute, Bash...real cute," Lennon snarked at him, "Too bad that joke is fifty years stale. This is Madison," Lennon said, motioning at the young Buster in question, who smiled brightly at the other occupant of the room and said a cheerful "Hi.".

"Madison, this is Sebastian. Former partner in the horror fandoms, three time winner of the APBA softball MVP trophy and all around good guy."

"A good guy?" He asked playfully, "See, I _knew_ you liked me."

Lennon looked at him with an expression of long suffering, "No I don't. I'm trying to be _polite_."

"Oh good lord, Lenny Fisk being polite," He teased, "The world is sure to end any minute."

"Bash Caine trying to be sarcastic! Quick! Someone phone Ripley's!" Lennon rolled her eyes and looked back at Madison, "Anyways...Madison, Sebastian. Sebastian, Madison."

The man sitting next to Lennon gave Madison a warm, friendly smile, causing the mousy young woman to blush prettily.

Lennon narrowed her eyes at the younger Buster, recognizing the 'Oh he's _so_ cute' expression that had crossed her face, "Don't even _think_ about it. He's spoken for."

The brunette's eyes went wide and she gestured between the two, "You mean you two-"

Lennon and Sebastian looked at her for a moment, at each other and then back again before they broke out laughing like hyenas.

"Me and Bash?" Lennon asked between guffaws, "Oh please! We've known each other since the academy. He's like a brother to me! Plus I'm _so_ not his type."

Madison looked slightly hopeful again and Lennon saw it, "You aren't his type either."

Sebastian chuckled, noting the confused expression that now graced Madison's delicate features, "Let's just say when Lenny and I go out to a club together, we're both there for the _exact_ same reason."

"Yeah," Lennon put in, "to pick up guys."

He looked at her, "Very tactfully put, Lenny."

The geek flipped her hand dismissively, "I've never been very good with the whole concept of tact."

"I noticed."

Lennon looked at Madison, "Well, are you gonna stand there all night?"

"Oh! No...uh...where should I put the cookies?"

Lennon pointed at the snack table.

As Madison was setting out the cookies (which she herself had baked), the door was knocked on once more. This time with three sharp, curt taps.

It's weird how people tend to knock on doors in a way that reflects their personalities, isn't it?

"Come in, Charlotte."

The door opened once more, and Charlotte entered, as sure and confident while out of the fandoms as she was while in them, "Hi."

Lennon introduced Charlotte to Sebastian and the two of them shook hands as she sat down.

"Does anyone want a snack or anything while I'm up?" Madison asked as she grabbed half a mini grilled cheese sandwich and a strawberry soda.

"Nothing for me," Lennon said, "I ate enough of the stuff while I was setting it out."

"Toss me a root beer, if you've got one," Charlotte said as she leaned down and retied her bootlace, which had come undone somehow when she had entered Lennon's room.

Madison snapped up a root beer and walked it over to her CO, before sitting down next to her.

Lennon snapped up the deck of cards and started shuffling them "Alright, what's the poison of the evening? Five card stud? Texas hold 'em?"

"Nuh uh," Sebastian said abruptly, "I'm not playing if _you're_ dealing."

The geek looked at him innocently, "Why? Whatever do you mean?"

"You stack the deck, Lenny."

Lennon gasped in an exaggerated fashion and put her hands to her chest like it was the most scandalous thing she'd ever heard, "I wouldn't do a thing like that! Madge, be honest, would I do something like that?"

"Yes," Madison deadpanned, causing both Charlotte and Sebastian to laugh.

Lennon faked the most injured expression she could muster, "Oh Madison, I'm _hurt_ you'd think I would _cheat_!"

"You would," Madison said simply, taking a bite of her sandwich.

The geek grinned, "You're right, I would." and handed the cards over to Sebastian, who dealt them out like a pro.

The next couple of hours or so passed in pleasant conversation, bad jokes and even worse bluffs.

Despite the fact that Lennon wasn't dealing, she was still somehow coming up a little ahead of everyone else. But no one really cared, they were having too much of a good time.

Sometime around nine o'clock, the phone in Lennon's quarters rang and she got up to answer it. "Deal me out this round," She said as she picked up the receiver, "Hello?"

"Oh _hi_, Ma." Her eyes shut briefly before she opened them and looked upwards, annoyance clear on her face. "I know I haven't. I've been busy." Lennon listened for a minute and then sighed, "No...never too busy to call my _only_ mother. I've been set up with a new team."

Another moment of listening to the woman on the other end of the line. "No, Ma, they're both women and no, they're not Jewish."

"Yeah," Lennon said into the phone, "No, Ma. Yes Ma. I will. No...I won't. I promise. Yes ma."

Lennon rolled her eyes and made a 'yak, yak, yak' motion with her fingers as she listened to her mother on the other end of the line. Sebastian snickered as he drew two cards.

"I'll try ma, but you know how busy we are during the holiday season, with all the Holiday!fics and-Ma, I don't need to know about Aunt Dottie's corns. Yes I'm sure."

Madison stifled a giggle and raised the bet to a dollar.

"Alright, Ma. I'll _try_ to be home for Hanukkah. No, Ma. Alright, I'll ask, hang on," Lennon sighed and covered the receiver with her hand, effectively blocking her mother's hearing of what she was about to say to Charlotte and Madison.

"My mother wants to know if you two would like to come to dinner for Hanukkah with my family in New York. If we're not on a mission, that is."

Charlotte and Madison looked at each other and then back at Lennon, "I _really_ wouldn't recommend it, since it's not so much a dinner as it is a show of her lack of cooking skills. Bash went with me last year, he can attest to that fact."

"You're too hard on her," Sebastian said reprovingly, "The fish wasn't all _that_ bad."

"Yeah...the inch and a half square of it that wasn't burnt was fantastic," Lennon said, "Seriously, it's a wonder I didn't starve to death as a child. So what say my two new illustrious teammates?"

"I think that'd be nice," Madison said cheerily, "I've always wanted to go to New York. You know...in the real world, not in a fandom."

"Might be interesting to see what kind of stock the Fisk family is," Charlotte added teasingly, "If we aren't stuck in a fandom, I think you can count us in."

Lennon brought the phone back up to her head, "They said yeah, Ma. If we're not on a mission you can set three extra places for-" Lennon paused, remembering last years fiasco, "dinner."

Lennon looked upwards briefly, "Bash, she said you can come along too if you like."

Sebastian waved his hands and said a silent and emphatic _'NO!'_.

Lennon stared at him and had to force down a chuckle at his flailing, "He says he's going to be covering some follow up missions throughout December and can't, but thanks for the offer. Alright. Love to Dad. Bye Ma."

With that, she hung up.

"I thought you said that her cooking wasn't that bad," Madison said, referring to Sebastian's dramatic thrashing of a few minutes prior.

"It's not," He answered as he raked in his winnings, "Her trying to set me up with Lennon's cousin Irving _is_."

"My mother could give a shipper bunny a run for it's money in the matchmaking department." Lennon walked back over to the table, flipped her chair around and straddled it, "Anyway, let's finish the game. I want to break you guys and make you cry."

-----------------

A/N: Just a quick glance at life _out_ of the fandoms and at the APBA. Plus it was a good excuse to give the girls some time to get to know each other better. I mean, honestly, their relationship as it is in WPBA didn't just go POOF and boom they're best friends. I kinda wish I had the energy to write about the girls going off to meet Lenny's family, but I shall leave it as a challenge -bows-. If anyone wants to take it, by all means, do. In the meantime, I'm going to go pass out.

Oh wait, I still have another chapter to upload...right. _Then_ I can go pass out.


	8. Ereht tou si hturt eht

Charlotte walked along, passing what seemed to be hundreds of cubicles on either side of her, as she kept a sharp look out for the slash bunny that had been reported.

She hadn't seen any slash activity as of yet, but there was a certain air about some of the canons that she had come across and she could just _tell_. The Busters commander had already swept twelve floors, but had yet to see any sign of the bunny.

Charlotte stepped into the elevator, hit the button and waited for the doors to slip shut.

Why there was an overabundance of elevator scenes in the story thus far was a mystery, even to the author, who kept writing them without realizing it.

After the doors closed, Charlotte reached into the pocket of her suit jacket and retrieved a very slim, state-of-the-art silver flip phone.

You can only imagine how ridiculous she felt when she flicked it open. Really, it was _just_ like a standard Starfleet issue communicator.

She hit speed dial, brought the phone up to her ear and waited.

After five rings, Madison's cheerful voice greeted her with a swift, "Yeah?"

"Have you come across anything yet, Nelson?"

"For the millionth time, it's _Madge_, and no, I haven't found any sign of the bunny. _Yet_."

"Me either..._Madge_," Charlotte sighed, "I'm starting to wonder if it was bad Intel."

"You really think that's possible?" Madison asked, clearly shocked that there could possibly be such a thing as _bad_ Intel within the APBA.

"Yeah, it's happened to me once before," Charlotte replied, looking at her nails, "But keep looking. I'm going to sweep the basement offices and then I'll be heading back up to meet you. Keep me posted."

"Roger that," Madison answered before hanging up.

Charlotte flipped the cell phone shut and slipped in into her jacket pocket. She caught sight of herself in the reflective silver elevator doors and made a face. She never thought she looked very good in suits, and she felt that they rather hindered her movement. Even if it was a pant suit. She brushed a bit of lint of her shoulders and straightened her collar while she looked at her reflection.

Well, at least it was black. That was _something._

The elevator dinged as it finally came to a stop in the basement and the doors slid open.

Charlotte almost missed the sci-fi 'Shluck' noise that she had become accustomed to at the APBA, but she shook the thought off and stepped out of the elevator, glancing around herself cautiously.

She frowned. There wasn't any activity at all.

That was weird.

She shrugged and started walking down the hallway, her two inch heels clicking and clacking loudly all the way. She almost stumbled at one point, since she was so used to wearing combat boots and rarely wore high heels, but she recovered nicely.

Charlotte peered into every office door on either side of the hallway and found all of them unoccupied and dark.

It looked like these offices hadn't seen activity in several years. In fact, many of them were converted into storage rooms with boxes upon boxes of files piled on each other and gathering dust.

There was _one_ office that she came across where the lights were on and it looked somewhat lived it, what with the desk covered with papers, pencils sticking out of the ceiling and a poster which declared 'I Want To Believe' hanging on the wall, but it, like all the others before it, was empty.

It was actually starting to creep the Busters CO out a little bit. It was so quiet that the only noises she could make out were that of her high heels on the floor and her own breathing. She never would have admitted it, but it made her rather edgy for things to be so eerily quiet.

She stopped walking and strained her ears for any sound at all.

A hand came to rest on Charlotte's left shoulder suddenly, and her training kicked in within nanoseconds, overcoming the anxiety she felt about the creepiness of the basement. She grabbed the hand, pivoted on her right foot, and flipped the person who had grabbed her over her head, causing him to land flat on his back in front of her. She dug the heel of one shoe into his throat, drew her gun and pointed it at him, working purely on her deeply ingrained defensive training.

All this happened in a matter of seconds, and the pure adrenaline coursing through Charlotte's veins felt like the only thing keeping her standing. Her heart was thudding so hard and fast inside her chest, that she thought it quite possible for it to break the confines of her ribcage and go thumping across the hallway of it's own volition.

The man that she had just flattened put his hands up, "Don't shoot. I'm on your side." and flashed her a somewhat cute bewildered look.

"Oh yeah right, prove it." She stared down the barrel of her gun at him menacingly as she increased the pressure of her shoe on his neck ever so slightly.

"I'm FBI," He said, "I've got my badge in my jacket, just let me get it and-" he started to move to reach for his jacket.

"Uh uh, don't even think about it," Charlotte leaned over, her weapon still remaining trained on him, flipped his jacket open and reached inside to grab the ID he was reaching for.

She flicked the badge open and glanced at it.

"Mulder, Fox W." Charlotte read aloud. She looked at the photo on the ID and then stared down at the man under her heel. Charlotte clucked her tongue, took her heel off his throat and put her gun away. She tossed the badge at his chest, where it landed with a small thud.

"Agent Mulder, you know, you really ought not sneak up on people like that. It might get you killed." She offered him her hand and pulled him up.

"If all the agents here were playing as fast and loose with their guns as you are, I'm sure I'd be in serious trouble." He brushed off his trousers before he looked back at her.

"Fast and loose?" She gazed at him from beneath hooded lids, giving her the air of boredom, "I managed to avoid shooting you, didn't I?"

"Yeah," he leaned down and scooped his badge up off the floor, and returned it to its rightful place inside his jacket, "You actually went against the usual 'shoot first, ask questions later' mentality. I'm kinda impressed."

"Well, you got the drop on me. That's rather impressive in it's own right." Charlotte tipped her head at him, a look on her face that was somewhere between annoyed and amused, "Speaking of which, what did you think you were doin', manhandling me like that?"

"I thought you were someone else."

Charlotte quirked an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Yeah...I think it's the hair."

Charlotte touched her hair, realization dawning, "Oh. You mean Agent Scully. Right."

"You know her?" He asked with an interested tilt of the head, which made him look rather like a puppy.

"Er...by reputation," Charlotte replied evasively, trying not to avoid his eyes as she lied, "I haven't really met much of anyone here yet."

Charlotte suddenly remembered her manners and stuck out her hand, "I'm Charlotte-" she picked her brain for a suitable fake surname and found one in the form of a name from one of the last fandoms that she'd been in, "Kirk. I was just transferred here last week."

"Oh really?" He asked as he adjusted his jacket, genuinely interested, "Where from?"

"I was with the Milwaukee branch office before I came to DC. Violent Crimes division."

"Wisconsin," he said thoughtfully, "I've been there a couple of times on a few cases. Nice place."

"Liar," a voice said, decidedly Lennon-ish in tone and cadence, "The whole state smells like cow."

Both Mulder and Charlotte turned to see the geek strolling down the corridor towards them. She was dressed smartly in a navy blue, highly tailored skirt suit and heels with her normally frizzy hair tamed and slicked back into a bun with enough hair gel to drown a whole herd of lemmings. She was actually wearing (gasp) make-up, and red lipstick that would have put a Ferrari to shame. The effect was aging enough to the point that she actually looked old enough to be a full fledged FBI agent with a few years under her belt, which was exactly what she was going for.

"I have been looking _everywhere_ for you," Lennon said as she walked up, before she motioned at Mulder, "Who's your friend?"

Charlotte glanced at the man standing next to her, "This is Agent Mulder...Agent Mulder, this is my partner-"

"Lennon McCoy." Lennon stuck her hand out and Mulder took it, one of his eyebrows raised and a skeptical look on his face as he shook hands with her.

"That's an interesting coincidence," he said, jabbing a thumb at Charlotte with his free hand, "Kirk and McCoy?"

Lennon's eyes widened just a fraction of an inch as she tried not to let shock register on her face, passing with quite a bit of effort. She gave a little chuckle, effectively covering her discomfort, "Yeah...I think it's some kind of running joke in personnel. Sticking the two of us together."

Lennon released Mulder's hand and turned to her CO, "Anyway, I came to find you 'cause we're wanted by AD Skinner. We gotta go."

"Oh. Alright." Charlotte turned back to Mulder, "It was nice to meet you."

"Likewise," He replied with a boyish grin, "Aside from the whole being flipped over your head thing. I'll be sending you my chiropractor's bill, of course."

Charlotte couldn't help but grin back at him, "But of course."

Lennon was starting to get antsy, and Charlotte could feel the sentiment 'For God's sake, let's just _go_' coming off the geek in waves.

"Well, we should be going." Charlotte smiled at Mulder once more before she turned to walk away with Lennon at her side.

"Hope we run into each other again," Mulder called after them.

He watched as the two of them rounded a corner at the end of the hallway, heading back towards the elevator, and thusly out of his line of vision.

His eyes narrowed suspiciously and he said to no one in particular, "Kirk and McCoy, huh?"

Mulder thought for a moment, before he casually strolled to his office door and wandered in. He shut the door behind himself, stepped behind his desk, picked up his telephone and dialed it without even bothering to sit down.

He picked up a freshly sharpened pencil on his desk and twirled it between his fingers as he waited for someone to pick up.

The line rang four times before someone answered.

"Langly? Mulder. Turn off the tape."

He brought the pencil up and thoughtlessly tossed it at the ceiling, where it stuck, taking up residence with several dozen of it's brethren.

"I've got a job for you guys. I need you to check out a couple of people for me."

_-----Meanwhile-----_

Lennon had dragged Charlotte into a storage room filled to overflowing with file cabinets and boxes just as soon as they were a safe distance from Mulder.

The geek slammed the door shut behind herself and rounded on her commanding officer.

"_Kirk_?" Lennon asked, her tone revealing how edgy she was.

"_McCoy_?" Charlotte countered, equally upset.

"Well how was I supposed to know you were going to use a surname from the same 'verse as me?" Lennon asked heatedly, "This is just great!" She threw her hands in the air, "You know what's going to happen now, don't you? You did read his character dossier, didn't you?"

Charlotte looked at her 'partner' as all the possibilities of this particular scenario played out in her head, finding that none of the results were particularly favorable.

Lennon saved Charlotte the trouble of replying by answering her own question.

"Of course you did. He's going to want to investigate us!" Lennon grumbled loudly, "And when he finds out that we're-"

"We're just going to have to stick around here long enough for him not to get suspicious," Charlotte said logically, cutting Lennon off in mid-diatribe.

"Suspicious? He's _already_ suspicious!" Lennon would have sunk down on the floor at this point, but found that to be an impossible task in the pencil skirt she was wearing. She opted for leaning up against a dusty file cabinet instead. "We'll have to be here for a month to keep him from thinkin' we aren't legit!"

Charlotte looked at Lennon and no words were needed to express just what she was thinking.

Lennon gaped in disbelief as she seemingly read her CO's mind, "You can't be serious! No team has ever been in one fandom for that long!"

"Well, we need to preserve our cover and if he starts looking into us and then we just up and disappear..." She left the end of the sentence hanging in the uncomfortable silence, letting Lennon connect the dots herself.

"Then he'll have even _more_ questions." The geek grumbled, crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, "Which we can't have."

Charlotte sighed and nodded, "We have to get a message to HQ and let them know we're gonna be stuck here for a while."

----------

A/N:Oh lord..writing Mulder is HARD! -is an emotional wreak over it- He's snarky and classically charming, but still has an emotional vulnerability to him, in addition to this like, bravery and weird unpeggable sweetness, in addition to his underlying pervyness (don't even bother to try and deny that it's there, you're just deluding yourself).

-grumble- Do you have any idea how hard it is to write that kind of contradictory personality? DO YOU? Let me tell you, it's next to impossible! I just hope I kept him in character _enough_ to be passable.

And am I the only one who gets a kick out of seeing the Busters in different outfits in their head? Seriously, it's like my own little Pretty Woman-esque musical clothes changing montage goin' on inside my skull. Like dressing Barbies but more fun! -has visions of pink plaid mini skirts and fishnets dancing in her head-

All in good time, Nenya, all in good time XD

Ok. I can either leave this as it is, as a one shot, and move on to the next universe, or I can write another part of this, since it's trying to take on a life of it's own. I doubt it would become its own story (not like WPBA, that would _kill_ me to do. Seriously, WPBA is taking every ounce of creative energy I have to keep it going.) but it _might_ last for another chapter or two.

What do you guys think? Continue in XF or move on? I really want your opinion on this here, because I'll go with whatever the majority says. That's right, your opinion actually _does_ matter to me!

One last thing. Cheese heads, thou shalt not attack Techie for having Lennon say that Wisconsin smells like cow, for it does (out in the country at least XP) and Techie ought to know since she lives there.

Techie should also have her head examined since she is suddenly writing about herself in third person for some reason.


	9. They Always Send Me The Cutest Pizza Guy

"Alright, I want thick crust with sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon and mushrooms," Charlotte said into the telephone receiver, "And send along an order of breadsticks." The CO turned away from the wall mounted phone, "What do you want on yours, Lenny?"

Lennon, who was reclining on one of the motel room beds, leaning against the ugly sea foam colored headboard, tossed a playing card from the stack in her hand at the hat that was at the foot of the bed, missing it by a mile.

"Chicago deep dish with cheese, beef pepperoni, onions, jalapeno peppers, green peppers, pepperoncinis and some of that hot California stuff...you know, the stuff that's like, cauliflower and carrots in that oil and vinegar mix."

She tossed another playing card at the hat, this one hitting it's mark perfectly while Charlotte relayed her wishes to the guy who was taking her order.

Madison made a face from her vantage point on the floor near the television and turned to look at the geek, "Jalapeno peppers, pepperoni _and_ pepperoncinis? How can you eat all that stuff without getting sick?"

"Cast iron stomach. Nothing makes me sick." Lennon patted her mid section absently, "Except turkey. For some weird reason, I'm allergic to turkey."

Madison's eyebrows furrowed, "How can you be allergic to a _meat_?"

Lennon shrugged and tossed another card, "I dunno...just am."

Charlotte hung up the phone, "It'll be here within the hour."

The geek looked up at the CO, "How much?"

"Thirty seven fifty," Charlotte stated as she rummaged around in her pants pocket and withdrew a wad of one dollar bills and counted them, "I've got fourteen. You guys gotta put in some."

Lennon set her cards aside and leaned over the edge of the bed to poke around inside her backpack, while Madison dragged out what little cash she had left over out of her nylon Strawberry Shortcake wallet.

"I've got a twenty and a bunch of change," Lennon stated as she tossed the cash on the mattress in front of her and then proceeded to dump a plastic bag filled with nickels and dimes out to count them.

"I have five in bills," Madison said unhappily, counting the last of her money, "And two in quarters."

They had been in the X-Files universe for close to a week, and within that short amount of time they had spent almost all of their petty cash. Between the motel room (cheap though it was) and having to order take out for dinner every night _and_ grab breakfast and lunch while at the FBI, they were down to their bottom dollars.

Charlotte sighed, "If the agency doesn't send us some resources soon, we're gonna starve over the next three weeks."

"Yeah," Lennon agreed, piling up the dimes in stacks of ten, "They better send some changes of clothes as well. Everyone's starting to look at me weird for wearing the same suit every day."

"What do you think is taking them so long?" Madison asked, handing the dollar bills to Charlotte, "I read that they usually send resources to teams stuck within fandoms under cover within twenty four hours...it's been almost a week."

Lennon grumbled as she too handed the money she had to Charlotte, "Yeah well, there's no telling what disaster has befallen the inter fandom assistance department that's keeping them from sending stuff to us. You know how unpredictable things can get at the agency."

Charlotte had been using this time to count up the amassed cash instead of conversing with her teammates, "We've got enough to cover the pizza and the tip for the delivery guy...and the change we've got can go towards some sodas from that convenience store a few blocks down." She picked up the huge amount of change that was on the horrible maroon bedspread and tucked it into her pocket before handing the cash to the geek, "I'm going to go grab us some drinks before the pizza guy gets here...what kind do you guys want?"

Lennon took the money from her superior officer and tucked it into her jeans pocket, "Something with a huge amount of caffeine in it. I don't care what, just so long as it's not made by Pepsi."

Charlotte nodded, counting the quarters, nickels and dimes as she did so, "How about you, Madge?"

The brunette got up off the floor and stretched, "I'll come with you. I never know what I want to drink until I'm looking right at what's available."

_-------Twenty Minutes Later-------_

Lennon tossed the last of the playing cards into the hat at the foot of her bed. She had done pretty well, in her opinion, getting more than half the deck actually within the rim of the hat. A personal best of thirty two cards. The geek was feeling pretty proud of herself over it.

She was about to start gathering up all the stray cards, when there was a knock at the motel room door. Charlotte and Madison both had keys, so it wasn't them returning from the convenience store down the way, and it was far too soon for it to be the pizza guy.

Lennon stood up, drawing her gun from the waistband of her pants in the process as she slunk to the door cautiously. She opened it a crack and glanced around, nine millimeter at the ready just in case something untoward was going on.

Instead, she found a cardboard box at her feet, about two feet by two feet, labeled 'IFAD Delivery'.

The Inter Fandom Assistance Department had sent them resources.

"About damn time," Lennon muttered as she picked up the box and retreated back into the motel room.

She unceremoniously dropped the box on the bed and tore the top clean off.

Clothing, case files, a wad of cash...all in all, a standard assistance package for teams stuck in a fandom for an indeterminate amount of time...with the express exception of a shoebox in the left hand corner of the box.

Naturally, Lennon ignored all the standard equipment and picked up the shoe box first, flipping off the lid.

"They sent us a care package?"

Lennon spun and saw that Charlotte and Madison had entered the motel room, Madison carrying several bottles of soda and Charlotte with a bag of ice slung over one shoulder.

"Yeah," the geek replied, turning back to the box in her hands, "Cash, clothes, weapons, the usual. All except this." Lennon looked at the contents of the shoe box and a smile slowly spread across her face, "I think Sebastian sent it."

Madison bounded up behind Lennon to peek inside the box, "What're those?"

Lennon looked positively ecstatic as she gazed lovingly at the small hunks of brightly colored plastic, her salvation from complete boredom while trapped here, "Dice."

She looked up at her teammates with a huge grin on her face, "Ever play Dungeons And Dragons?"

_--Yet Another Twenty Minutes Later--_

Lennon left Madison with the copy of the player's guide so that she could familiarize herself with the rules of the game (Shockingly, Charlotte was _already_ familiar with the rules. She attributed it to her boyfriend in junior high who talked about nothing _but_ D&D), while she and Charlotte looked over the case files that had been sent in the assassinate package.

Among the standard case files, there were several examples of the worst fiction that had ever been written for the fandom so that the girls would be able to spot the beginnings of a badfic from a mile away.

It was some of the most absurd tripe that the two agents had ever come across, full of unlikely slash relationships and Mary Sues, in addition to really _really_ horrible out of character characterizations.

"Listen to this," Charlotte said, her voice strained with barely contained laughter, " 'There he lay, hair deliciously tousled as the beast towered over him, prepared to tear his throat out in a glorious rush of red. The agent trembled under the gaze of the monster, it's fangs dripping and it's eyes bulging out of it's head, clouded with hunger and bloodlust'. I've never seen such a thinly veiled attempt at a snuff fic."

"That's nothing," Lennon said, snickering, "You should see the smut! 'His skin glowed with the sheen of sweat, like marble specked with rainwater," Charlotte let out a laugh so loud she thought it would shake the foundation of the building.

"There's more, wait, 'His blonde hair spread out beneath him, blue eyes shining beneath hooded lids, and in the lamplight all she could think was that he looked like a pale, golden God to her. Everything she'd ever wanted and more'." Lennon collapsed backwards on the bed, laughing at the imagery, "Pale golden God! Some people shouldn't be allowed near a Thesaurus, I'm tellin' you!"

Charlotte and Lennon both giggled for a good long while during their reading, right up until the time that the door was knocked upon with four sharp taps.

Lennon got up from the bed and went to answer it, leaving Charlotte on her bed, still chuckling and reading.

As the geek opened the door, her eyes went wide suddenly.

"Delivery for McCoy?" The pizza guy asked, staring at the small bit of paper clutched in his hand that was no doubt a copy of her order.

When he actually bothered to look up at her though, pale blue eyes meeting deep black ones, the whole world fell away and all that was left was the two of them, staring at each other silently.

If this exchange were taking place within the confines of, oh say, a romantic movie, then it would have been the perfect time to cue the sappy music and the twang of Cupid's bow. Their eyes met and everything seemed to stop for a split second, Lennon's breathing included. Her lungs just stopped moving in mid-breath, no longer able to expand under the crushing weight of instant physical attraction.

"Who is it, Lenny?" Charlotte asked from her vantage point on her bed, only barely breaking the haze that Lennon found herself under while looking up into his eyes.

Lennon just stood there, dazedly staring at the pizza guy who stood a good four inches taller than her with long blonde hair poking out from beneath his 'Pizza Planet' baseball cap. His black nylon windbreaker was left unzipped over a Ramones T-shirt and he was wearing her preferred brand of sneaker.

"Gabba Gabba Hey," she said in a greeting that she know he'd understand.

He blinked twice, clearly in shock before replying in kind.

"What was that, Lenny?" Charlotte called loudly, thinking that Lennon had replied to her and not to the pizza guy.

Lennon snapped out of it immediatly, covering her initial attraction to the man at her motel room door, "I said it's the pizza guy."

He snapped out of it too before he blushed and turned his attention to the pizza order, "That'll be thirty seven fifty."

"Huh?" Lennon said, staring at him momentarily before the wheels in her head started to turn again, "Oh..right." Lennon fished around in her pocket for the cash and handed all of it to him, "There's forty. Keep the change."

The pizza guy handed her the pizza boxes awkwardly, their fingers brushing each other in the exchange, while he put the money in his pocket.

The electric spark between them almost caused Lennon to drop the food all over the floor.

"Damn static electricity," she said with a gulp, hoping that's all it was, "Thanks." She started to move to close the door, when he pressed his hand against it and shoved some pink slips of paper at her.

"Here's some coupons...you know, in case you want to order from us again."

"I'm...I'm sure we will," Lennon said with a smile, taking the proffered tickets from him.

"Er," he said awkwardly, "So I'll...I'll see you around."

"I hope so," she said, the words coming out as being more eager than she would have liked.

"Bye," he said.

"Yeah...bye."

As the door shut, Lennon stood staring at it, hot pizza boxes still in hand.

"Are you going to bring those over here and feed us or are we going to have to starve?" Charlotte asked, amusement in seeing her comrade so distracted apparent in her tone.

The geek turned on her heel mechanically and walked back over to one of the motel room beds, depositing the boxes and then dropping down next to them.

"You ok there, Len?" Charlotte inquired as she opened one of the pizza boxes and took out a piece.

It took Lennon half a minute or so to react. Almost as though her brain was running at such a fevered pace that her mouth had to have extra time in order to catch up with her.

"Huh? Wha? Fine..I'm fine...just a little..uh-" the geek shook her head before pressing her palms to her eyes, "A little tired is all. My mind is kinda muddled from exhaustion, I think."

Madison snickered and took a sip from her can of orange soda as she flipped another page in the player's guide, "Yeah..sure. Exhaustion."

_------Meanwhile, Out In The Parking Lot--------_

"Tell me you didn't give away all our Pizza Planet coupons, Langly," Frohike said irritably as the blonde man posing as the pizza guy approached the van.

"So what if I did?" Langly asked, piling in the drivers side of the VW bus while simultaneously tossing his baseball cap in the back, "It's not like you were going to use them."

"It _does_ give us an automatic in with them," Byers stated logically, "We can observe them from up-close if they keep ordering from Pizza Planet and we keep intercepting the orders, delivering them ourselves. You think they spotted the bug on the pizza box?"

Frohike scoffed, "No chance. I embedded it in the cardboard itself. They won't know it's there unless they rip the box apart."

Langly fluffed his hair and looked back at the motel across the parking lot. "I think Mulder was wrong about them," He said carelessly as he turned the key in the ignition and started backing the van out of parking space it had been occupying for the past two hours and started for home.

And if Frohike or Byers noticed that Langly was humming the tune of 'She's The One' under his breath as he drove, neither of them said anything.

_--------------_

A/N:And the audience goes 'Aww'

Whilst I barf over the cuteness. Aw, but Lenny deserves some fluff in her life...the sort _not_ caused by an evil plot bunny! This explains away the way the girls met the Gunmen quite nicely, and it also gives the Langly/Lenny ship a good solid start. -grins-

AHEM! I have heard Langly referred to as (and I quote) a 'Pale Golden God' in more than one fic, and the first time I read it, I fell off my chair laughing at the thought of it. I love him just as much as the next person, but pale golden _God_? Please..even I can't make _that_ stretch. I won't be doing any more in the XF universe in the near future (read-next five-ten chapters or so) but you can just assume that the girls stayed in the XF 'verse for the full month before moving on. If you feel like writing their further encounters with the LGM, by all means, do. I'm just too tired to do it at the moment and I really want to get cracking on the next five universes I have planned.

I have a plan...I think I must be losing it. I _never_ have a plan! I'll be answering all my reviews from now on (I have internet again! WOO!) so show me the love...or hate, as the case may be. Either way, show it, baby, show it!


	10. A Ragin' Cajun

Lennon has been a total bitch lately, trying to take over the spotlight when I wasn't paying attention. It's so hard to pay equal attention to all the Busters when she's such a pushy old cow demanding attention. I think it's because her dialogue is so much fun to write and that's why she gets so much face time. It's weird, I've heard that the writers for Atlantis have the same trouble with McKay...he's so much fun to write for that he gets quite a bit more attention than anyone else. If anyone out there can think of some scenarios where the other girls could get some more attention, let me know, huh? I keep coming up with Lennon centric stuff against my will.

----------------

Charlotte's eyes remained glued on the rippling muscles of the man who was currently violently slashing his way through the chain link fence in front of her. He growled and gnashed his teeth and made an all around ruckus befitting a wild animal. He wasn't very tall, but he was built like a strong, compact tank with all the agility of a wolverine.

Which was really a fair comparison, considering who he was.

Charlotte was so busy staring at him tear the fence to shreds she barely felt the insistent poking in her side.

"Charlotte, I had no idea you had a thing for bright yellow spandex." Lennon teased.

"I don't," she said without thinking, "I always preferred the brown and orange costume, but it's _Wolverine_, I'll take whatever I can get."

"I always liked Cyclops," Madison said as she scanned the immediate area for any trace of the small time travel bunny that had been reported.

"Yeah, you _would_," Lennon said as she watched the man in question walk in through the huge gaping hole in the fence that had been made by Charlotte's object of sudden obsession, "You strike me as the kind of girl who goes for the goodie two shoes type."

Madison turned and looked at Lennon, "I am not. Besides, _you_ go for the 'smart' type."

"I'll have you know, I don't _have_ a type. I go for whatever whenever. Depends on my mood."

Madison rolled her eyes, "Oh yeah right...I bet you anything you'd just _looove_ Beast."

The geek made a face, "Oh God, no. The blue fur is a bit much for even me. The brains are an attractive quality, though."

"See, I knew it."

"Oh shut up, Madge," Lennon said, still scanning the horizon, "What's your 'type', Charlotte?"

Charlotte shrugged, "I dunno...never thought about it. Whatever's handy, I suppose."

"Whatever's handy? Wow...you have some high standards there, boss."

"You know what I mean...it depends on the situation and the guy...I don't limit myself to one type," Charlotte spotted a small flicker of movement off in the distance in a bush, which revealed itself to be a tiny white bunny wearing a waistcoat with a large, warped pocket watch hanging from it, the minute and hour hands spinning at an unreal speed, "Time travel bunny, three o'clock."

The other two Busters caught sight of the little white bunny who was hopping along nonchalantly, not garnering any attention at all from the canons.

"You know, you would think they'd notice a clothed bunny rabbit hopping about," Lennon said as she slipped out of her pack and retrieved her gun.

A huge crash shook the surrounding area as half a dozen trees were felled by a giant purple and maroon robot and the bushes that the three Busters were hiding behind were torn up by their roots in the process.

"I think they have bigger troubles than a bunny, Lenny," Charlotte said with a gulp as she got to her feet and started backing away from the huge lumbering Sentinel staring down at them.

Sentinels, for those of you that think the X-Men movies are gospel and are unaware of the comic history, are giant Mutant eradication machines, built for the express purpose of either killing or capturing mutants without regard to the repercussions for those nearby.

The three Anti Plot Bunny Agents all instinctively took a step nearer to each other as the giant metal creature's eyes flashed and it spoke in a voice of metallic gravelly doom, "Unregistered humans, expendable."

"What do we do?" Madison screamed desperately, paralyzed with fear.

"Well, I was thinking something along the lines of 'run'."

"You think running would be a good idea?" Madison asked unnecessarily while staring at the huge, lumbering Sentinel as it raised one of it's hands.

A huge energy pulse hit the ground next to Lennon, leaving a foot wide crater. "Oh, _maybe_," Lennon replied, fear turning itself into sarcasm as she started a retreat that began as walking backwards quickly and then turning around to run like hell.

Explosions started sounding all around the three companions as they dashed as quickly as possible in the opposite direction of the Sentinel, huge clumps of dirt, grass and debris flying everywhere as the deafening energy blasts sounded all over.

Out of breath, the three took refuge behind a huge redwood tree, regrouping.

Charlotte immediatly dropped her pack to the ground and retrieved several explosive grenades, tossing them at her teammates.

Which was a bad idea because Madison was so shaken she almost dropped hers.

"Take those, we've gotta take this thing out!"

"But Charlie!" Madison shouted over the din, "We're not supposed to interfere! This is recon!"

"If we don't interfere, there won't be anything left of the 'verse for us to fix!" Lennon exclaimed before she pulled the pin on the grenade with her teeth, and ran out from behind the tree to lob it at the robot. Charlotte and Madison followed suit and watched at the grenades went up in a burst of fire and smoke on impact and Lennon pumped her fist in the air in triumph as a chunk blew off the metal monster and it hit the ground on it's back.

Her triumph was short lived as another half dozen Sentinels parted the trees behind their fallen brother, "Uh...Charlie, how many grenades have you got?"

"Not that many," Charlotte replied as she started pulling pins and throwing grenades at the advancing robot horde, several of them losing limbs at her assaults, "But we'll do what we can." She jabbed a thumb in the direction of the team of mutants who were working in tandem with them to put the giants out of commission, "As long as they keep doin' their part, we should be fine."

Lennon and Madison emptied clips on their nine millimeters, doing minimal damage to the group of Sentinels at large, but managing to drop one of them by hitting it in just the right way. The behemoth hit the ground, shattering into several pieces as it landed and Charlotte lost her balance at the earth shaking impact.

"CHARLIE!" Her two teammates screamed in unison as she was almost crushed under another falling Sentinel.

Charlotte was saved, however, by a brilliant flash of brown, blue and maroon by name of Remy LeBeau.

He grabbed her about the waist and yanked her out of the way as he tossed a glowing playing card behind him. It exploded as it hit the last standing Sentinel, severing it's head with the force of the detonation. "Dis no place for you, Mon cher. You coul' git hurt."

Techie had to wince because she hates it when accents are written out...and yet, there's no other way to write Gambit. Damn it.

Gambit. Damn it. Look at that, I rhymed. Huh.

Uh..what? Where were we? Oh...right.

He grabbed her about the waist and yanked her out of the way as he tossed a glowing playing card behind him. It exploded as it hit the last standing Sentinel, severing it's head with the force of the detonation. "Dis no place for you, Mon cher. You coul' git hurt."

He dropped her on the grass a little ways off as the Sentinel's head hit the ground where she had been a few moments before with a BANG!

--_A few minutes later, during which we have no idea what happened between the Cajun and the CO...mostly because she swore me to secrecy and I have no doubt she would do me physical injury if I spilled the beans--_

Charlotte did _not_ look well when Madison and Lennon ran up to join her, Gambit having departed to rejoin his own teammates mere seconds before when the smoke had finally cleared to a manageable level.

Lennon helped her superior officer to her feet, not liking the way her pupils were dilated.

"Hey, Madison?" Charlotte said dazedly, "Where are you from, again?"

"Ohio," Madison replied, looking at Lennon questioningly. Lennon shrugged her shoulders, just as puzzled about this line of questioning as Madison was, "Why?"

"Oh...I was just hoping you were from Louisiana is all," Charlotte said, blinking slowly, "I think I'd like to visit there sometime."

Madison's face broke out in a grin and Lennon couldn't help but roll her eyes.

It didn't take a mathematician to figure out what had happened.

"So, now do you have a type?" The brunette asked, amused at the dazed look that Charlotte had been left with after the Cajun had disappeared.

"Yeah," Charlotte said, staring at the Joker card he had handed her with his phone number scrawled across it, "Gambit. Most _definitely_ Gambit."

---------

A/N: Ahaha...that was fun to write. Stupid, but fun. Especially since Gambit would totally do that (well, as long as Rogue was busy/out of sight/out of earshot at the time XD). It's also the only thing I've ever written which can be blamed on what I ate last night. I made red beans and rice (Cajun style, naturally…what? I cook. It's not that shocking. I wanted to be a gourmet chef once upon a time, you know..) and it got me thinking about my favorite Cajun. Namely Gambit. I'm still trying to get over my disappointment that he hasn't been featured in any of the X-Men movies...-pout- Seriously...I had a crush on him back when the old cartoon was still on.

Wow...a crush on a cartoon character. I've got problems.


	11. Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Charlotte?

"Na na na na na na BATMAN!"

Lennon glared at the brunette with such ferocity Madison was pretty sure she could actually feel heat hitting her face.

"I can't help it," Madison said sheepishly, "It's so catchy!"

Lennon wriggled uncomfortably in the confines of the ropes wrapped around her arms and legs, "You can put on a Broadway musical for all I care, just so long as we get out of these." Lennon grunted and struggled against her bindings, "Where the hell is Charlotte?"

"I don't know," Madison sighed, "I sure hope she got away."

Insane laughter echoed off the walls of the lair and both Lennon and Madison glanced at each other warily, "YAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh fantastic. The villain du jour is here."

"Who is it?" Madison asked, voice tinged with panic.

A brilliant flash of purple strode into the room regally whom Lennon recognized instantly. She was barely able to squeeze out words around her heart that had jumped up into her throat. "The Joker."

He continued laughing wildly as Madison turned to Lennon with terror barely contained in her voice, "Is that bad?"

"Well, that depends on which version it is," The geek answered thickly, "The comic book version is _not_ a guy you want to run into in a dark alleyway. Bludgeoned Robin to death with a crowbar, paralyzed Batgirl by severing her spine, tossed Harley Quinn out a window and-"

"I don't want to know!" The brunette exclaimed, unable to listen to any more horror stories about the man who was now talking animatedly with his henchmen, his hands flailing about dramatically.

The tall, pale man spun on his heel and Lennon breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God," Lennon said, "It's the TV version. We're perfectly-"

He ambled over to her and a gun was suddenly pointed directly at her head.

"Safe?" she gulped.

The Joker pulled the trigger and a small white flag with the word 'BANG!' scrawled across it in bright orange lettering popped out of the barrel directly in front of Lennon's face.

The Joker took in the look of "Oh God I'm gonna faint" on Lennon's face and started cackling wildly.

"Don't fear, my dear," he said, gesturing grandly as he rolled his r's and spun the pistol on his finger, "You have nothing to worry about. After all, what good is dead bait?"

There was a sudden, dramatic change in theme music and one of the cheaply made walls was crashed through by a blur of purple and bright yellow that was revealed to be Batgirl.

The Joker went sober suddenly. "Batgirl!" He exclaimed, with all the seriousness of a Shakespearean actor who was well into his cups, "Come to save the precious beauty queens?"

Lennon and Madison glanced at each other, puzzled. "Beauty queens?" Lennon mouthed, "What's this guy on?"

"Quite to the contrary, Joker," Batgirl replied, haughtily throwing her cape over her shoulder, "I've decided to give up this crime fighting thing."

"Oh great...our one chance at being saved and she's decided to turn to the dark side." Lennon said angrily as she continued to struggle against the ropes.

The Joker rounded on Lennon and she scooted back a few inches, "The dark side!" He said, pointing at her, "I _like_ it!" He turned back to Batgirl, who hadn't moved or bothered to reach for a weapon of any kind while his back was turned.

He was, needless to say, impressed. It seemed she genuinely wasn't out to try and capture him.

"Why this sudden change of heart, little Batgirl, hmm?" He walked around her in a circle before he turned around and repeated the process in the opposite direction, purple gloved hands clasped tightly behind his back and each step holding a little bit of joyous bounce.

Batgirl flipped her hair and put her fists on her hips, "I'm tired of playing second fiddle to Batman's toy wonder. Besides, there's no money in crime fighting...what's a girl supposed to do when she wears through a cape or needs her hair set?"

A little scoff came from Lennon at this stereotypical characterization but it went unnoticed.

"So then it's the riches and glamour that a life of crime offers that you want, is it?" The Joker's eyes glittered as he took a step dangerously close to Batgirl, towering over her with menace.

Batgirl remained firm and met his eyes, "Yes."

"Don't do it Batgirl!" Madison exclaimed desperately, "You can't turn to a life of crime! You're a hero and-

Lennon moved her leg as best she could to kick Madison with it, "Shut up!"

The Joker turned to glare at Madison momentarily before he returned his attention to Batgirl, "And _why_ did you choose _me_ to become protégé to?"

"Well..." Batgirl worried her bottom lip with her teeth, "I love purple and there's just something about...well-" She turned away, blushing and now unable to look him in the face.

Of course, Joker understood immediatly. "Oh, I _see_." His insane grin spread even wider, "In _that_ case my dear, I'll give you the honor of doing away with those two...I won't need them once I tell Batman I have his precious pretty protégé in my capable custody. He'll practically fly here to come to your aid." He grasped Batgirl's chin and turned her to face him once again, "I'll leave you to it whilst I go and make a call to our dear Commissioner Gordon, my sweet."

He gestured at the two henchmen who had been guarding the two Bunny Busters, indicating that they should follow him.

They did so, leaving Batgirl and the two hostages alone. Batgirl removed a Batknife (we know that's what it was because it was labeled as such..like everything on this bloody show) from her utility belt and took a step towards the two Bunny Busters.

She stumbled and swore in a very un-nineteen sixties censor approved fashion.

"Damn it. The whole place is done Dutch angled," Batgirl said as she staggered, "It's making me kinda dizzy."

Lennon looked at Batgirl oddly.

"Charlie?"

Batgirl spared Lennon a glare, "You mean you didn't know?"

The doors crashed open behind 'Batgirl' and the Joker re-entered the room with a Tommy gun in hand.

He had been expecting Batgirl to be untying the victims, betraying him, but instead was treated to the sight of Batgirl glaring murderously with a knife drawn.

He giggled with glee, "I apologize for doubting you, Batgirl...it seems that you really _are_ genuine in your desire to join forces with me."

Charlotte turned and looked at the Joker with adoration in her eyes as she approached him and slunk a hand around his waist.

Lennon's stomach tried to convulse at the sight she was privy to next.

Her commanding officer planting a wet one on the psychotic clown.

After she released him, his eyes twinkled even more than they had been before, "And now, I'll _really_ leave you to it." and he left the room, locking the door behind him.

Madison looked at Charlotte with a mixture of disgust and awe.

Lennon, meanwhile, still had her eyes squeezed shut, "Give that woman an Oscar."

----

A/N: My VCR decided to stop working last week, so I had to write this without watching any of the old Batman TV series that I've got on tape as a refresher course. I would have preferred to write it after boning up on all of Caesar Romero's Joker's quirks and grand expressions, but alas, I could not.

Dutch Angle refers to when the camera is tilted at a ninety degree angle. In the old Batman television show, all the villain's lairs were always filmed at a Dutch angle to illustrate the crookedness of the characters.

Oh God…I know too much Batman trivia. If only I would use those portions of my brain for something good and useful like science or math...


	12. Clowns Are Scary

"Techie, why do we have to do two insane clown universes back to back?"

"Because I felt like writing it that way, that's why, Lenny. Besides, things have to go in a certain order to work out right later on."

"Yeah, but I'm scared of clowns..."

"You think you've got problems? I'm explaining things to a fictional character."

-----------------------

"I _hate_ clowns," Lennon muttered as she peeped around the corner and into the small room where her grease painted target was waiting. She turned and tapped on her ear piece, "Do I _have_ to do this?"

"Relax, Lenny...we'll be watching your every move. You'll be fine."

Lennon's eyes widened in alarm as a dreadful thought occurred to her, "You're not taping this, are you, Charlotte?"

There were a few suspicious clicking noises from the other end of the line, followed by an unconvincing, "No."

The geek glanced around herself, lips pursed together as she searched for any sign of a video camera, "There is no _way_ I am letting you tape me in this outfit!"

"I think you look good, Lenny," Madison said cheerfully into her headset, watching her teammate from across the room as she sipped daintily at a bright blue test tube full of something that tasted suspiciously like Kool-aid but with a higher alcohol content.

"You have all the taste of a love starved hyena, Madison, so you'll excuse me if I don't take your word for it." Lennon picked up the huge tray of neon colored, bubbling drinks and held it up over her head.

"Oh if my mother could see me now, wouldn't she be proud." Lennon self consciously tugged at the hem of the all too short pink plaid skirt that barely covered her fishnet ensconced thighs, "Become a doctor she said, maybe a lawyer, she said...but _nooooo_ I **had** to join the APBA. Now I'm playing cocktail waitress in a futuristic strip club," she peeked around the corner again, "About to try and flirt my way into the favor of a homicidal genius clown with designs on the human race without getting shot."

"You'll be fine, Lenny," Charlotte said reassuringly from her vantage point in an air duct a few feet over her teammate.

"Oh yeah, right. I'll be 'fine'. This guy isn't exactly _stable_, Charlotte. It's been my experience that villains in clown make-up rarely _are_. One false move and it'll be a pulse blast to the back of the head." Lennon took a deep breath and let it out in a little huff as she tried not to trip over her pink vinyl knee high platform boots and walked in through the beaded curtain that separated her from the mark.

Madison took a step to the left so that she could see somewhat through the gaps in the beads while Charlotte scuttled along inside the ventilation system, careful not to make any noise that would alert the target to her presence directly over him.

Lennon must have flicked off her radio communicator because Charlotte couldn't hear what was going on as the two people below her spoke in hushed tones. So, she was reduced to watching for any moves that she deemed to be inappropriate or dangerous that the man in her sights made.

The target was one Cregan Bailey, a homicidal madman who rather favored the Joker in appearance and designed the 'Baileys', a series of hyper intelligent robots bent on the destruction of what little is left of humanity. He had recently discovered a small device called 'Plhat' that some idiot rookie Bunny Buster accidentally left in the 'verse, that would allow him to bend and mold this universe to his twisted will, possibly tearing the fabric of space time itself.

Needless to say, it was in the best interests of our own Busters to get the Plhat device back before the insane clown could use it.

Charlotte watched with interest as Lennon set the tray of drinks down and began the typical flirting routine in earnest, going so far as to bat her lashes and stub her toe (as best she could in those God awful shoes) into the floor in a very Lolita like manner.

What the Busters commander saw next made her turn her head away. She knew it was a matter of great importance to get the Plhat device back, but she had no idea that her teammate would have to go _that_ far to do so.

Madison, meanwhile, was staring with her jaw agape at what little she could make out from between the numerous strings of beads hanging in the doorway to the room Lennon had disappeared into. She rubbed her eyes a few times, but found that the vision she was seeing didn't fade at all.

She clearly wasn't hallucinating.

A few more minutes passed and her teammate came into full view once more.

There was white, black and red greasepaint smeared all over her face and neck when she re-emerged from the curtained off room, wiping her mouth on the back of her arm. Some of the marks were in the distinctive shape of a set of lips, which made Madison shudder violently.

Lennon cut across the packed room and took her place at Madison's side, the brunette grabbing a towel from behind the bar and handing it to her in the process.

"Did you get it?" Madison asked eagerly as Lennon scrubbed at her face with the towel with such vigor it was as though she was trying to wipe her skin off her bones.

Lennon tossed a small square of metal, about an inch wide at her comrade, who caught it with ease.

"How did you manage to get it?" Madison asked, curious about whether or not she had seen what she thought she had seen. She certainly _hoped_ that Lennon hadn't done what she thought she had done.

"I...uh...I distracted him."

Oh come on people. Give me a little credit. She made out with him, nothing more. Honestly, you guys are so sick sometimes...

Madison didn't say anything, trying to keep her mind from hitting the gutter, unlike several readers (I know who you are! Don't think I don't!).

"And I am _never_ doing this kind of mission again." Lennon said, tossing the towel back "Never again. Never, ever, ever, _ever_ again."

---------------

A/N:Tada. The mystery of the pink plaid skirt/tank top combo is finally solved! That's the very first thing that popped into my head when I read the bit in Meeting Of Minds about the little plaid skirt (thanks sooo much for that image, Nenya..I can't even look Lenny in the face now that I've done this to her and it's all your fault). I just _knew_ it had to be some kind of seduction scenario because Lennon wouldn't be caught dead in such a get up otherwise.

Plhat device...get it? Plhat? As in 'plot'? Ah, I crack me up.


	13. Who Ya Gonna Call?

"Two in the box!"

"Ready to go."

"We be fast-"

"And they be slow!"

The three Anti Plot Bunny agents looked at each other. "Have you ever seen such a group of geeks in all your life?"

"Watch how you're throwing that word around, Madge. I _am_ a geek."

"Oh, present company accepted, of course," Charlotte replied smartly with a small grin.

A small rushing sound, like running water, filled the room and grew to a deafening pitch. The three Anti Plot Bunny Agents had just enough time to glance at each other before the shockwave from a huge explosion knocked the three women into each other and they landed on their backs, making unattractive sounding thumps when they hit the concrete.

Ash floated down in the air and the three Bunny Busters coughed violently as the tiny particles invaded their lungs.

There was silence for several seconds as Charlotte, Lennon and Madison tried to recover the wind that had been knocked out of them.

"Am I dead?" Lennon asked, poking herself in the ribs to make certain that nothing was broken.

"No such luck," Charlotte answered, groaning as she moved to a seated position and pulled Madison up by the sleeve with her.

"Damn. And I was so close to a nice vacation, too," the geek grumbled.

A fresh wave of heat washed over the room with the force of another explosion and they were knocked back once more, this time the strength of the blast enough to make them stay down, glued to the ground.

The rushing sound that was so much like water grew to such a level that it was trying to rival Niagara Falls.

"What the hell are they doing in there?" Lennon shouted, her ears ringing so badly she was unable to tell that she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

"I'm going to find out!" Madison screamed, also unaware of just how loud she was being.

The mousy brunette got on her hands and knees and crawled forward, coughing through the smoke and ash that was hanging heavily in the air.

She poked her head around the corner of the doorway where she and her two comrades had been standing mere moments before and looked inside, eyes streaming and nostrils flaring.

Madison turned and tugged on Charlotte's pants leg urgently, "Um...Charlie?"

"Yeah?" Charlotte hollered, sticking one finger in her left ear and wiggling it back and forth, trying to regain some of her hearing.

"Crossing the streams is bad...uh...right?" Madison inquired with a gulp, watching the three men with unlicensed nuclear accelerators strapped to their backs inside the room she was peeking into.

"They're crossing the streams?" Lennon cried, scrambling up and shoving Madison out of the way so she could see properly.

A string of curses issued forth from the black haired woman as she saw the bright orange and purple energy ribbons twist and mingle in mid-air.

"Complete protonic reversal! Those idiots! Those maroons! Those-"

One more explosion erupted from the room, flame and heat bursting forth from the doorway and knocking Lennon backwards on top of her two teammates.

When Lennon sat back up, she realized that the edges of her glasses frames were warped by the heat.

The blast of hot air to her face made her feel odd, like a mini heat stroke, and when she turned to look at Charlotte with bleary eyes she barely managed to contain a hysterical guffaw.

"What?" Charlotte shouted, "What is it?"

Lennon giggled drunkenly, "Charlie, your eyebrows are gone."

-----

A/N: Ahahahahha.

Yeah. That's it. I find that funny beyond all explanation.

If you guys don't know which universe this is...well, you need to go spork yourself in the eye.

Oh God...you know what I just realized? Lenny is Venkman, Charlotte is Spengler (erm..sorta) and Madison/Dawn (since they're both the same archetype) are both Stanz.

Wow. I didn't even realize I wrote them that way...whoa. Weirdness.

I mean, they're not _exactly_ alike, but they share a couple of personality traits.


	14. Renegotiations

Last chapter, for those who were wondering, was the universe of Cleopatra 2525.

Rent the DVDs...reeeeeent theeeeeeem.

---

The room was stark and empty, save for a polished steel table and two matching chairs, each of which held a woman who were very similar in appearance. Same black hair (well, almost, the one on the left was starting to show her true colors...about half an inch of weird mousy brown roots that were tinged with red, indicating that it was time to dye her hair again), same black eyes and thick black framed glasses, and _almost_ the same fashion sense.

Where the one on the right was wearing a Ramones t-shirt and muddy red Converse sneakers tied with checkerboard shoelaces, the one on the right was wearing a shirt bearing the image of Jake and Elwood Blues with black leather combat boots...which were tied with checkerboard shoelaces.

They could have been distant cousins, maybe even sisters.

However, they weren't related. At least not by blood. Their relationship was slightly more complicated: they were creator and creation.

Lennon and Techie. Face to face for the first time in recorded history.

Lennon's arms were crossed over her chest and she was glaring angrily at Techie, who had written herself into the scene for the express purpose of trying to convince the stubborn OC that the next universe that was planned would be _great_.

She was failing spectacularly.

"I'm not doing it," Lennon stated with finality, as though there was nothing left to discuss.

"But, Lenny, it's _Spawn_. Todd Freakin' McFarlane's Spawn. One of the greatest indy universes ever made. C'mon...please?"

"Not a chance in hell. I am _not_ doing another universe that has maniacal clowns."

"Clownie? Oh come on, Clownie is a pussycat in comparison to The Joker or Cregen." Techie stared off for a second thoughtfully, "Granted, he's a rude, crude little bugger who eats maggot pizza, but we can forgive him his quirks."

"Quirks? Eating maggot covered pizza is a _quirk_?" The geek in the Ramones shirt stared in disbelief, "You have a _sick_ mind. You do know that, right?"

"Watch it with that," Techie gave Lennon a flat look, "Remember you're one of the many creations that has sprung from the bowels of this 'sick' mind."

Lennon grumbled and sat back in her seat, "Yeah, and I've been payin' for it."

"You know," Techie began haughtily, "I could _force_ you into it...I didn't have to ask."

"You'd never do that," Lennon replied with a smirk, "My emotional trauma would be on your conscience."

Techie pegged a finger at the geek, "And don't think that doesn't scare me...the fact that I'm taking into account the emotional well being of a fiction character is starting to make me question my sanity."

"_Starting_ to? I think it's a pretty safe bet that particular ship has sailed." Lennon folded her arms across her chest again, "Either way, I'm not going to do this 'verse."

There was a loud sigh from the creator as she sat back heavily in her chair, "Fine...how about a compromise?"

Lennon narrowed her eyes, "What _sort_ of compromise?"

"Well, I have a couple of universes lined up."

"And they're 'me' heavy?" Lennon asked suspiciously.

"Yes."

"And you want my full cooperation, is that it?"

"Precisely."

Lennon sighed, "Which ones."

A sheet of paper and a pencil spun out of thin air with a loud **POP**! and Techie snapped them up and started scribbling on the paper.

"How come I can't do that?" Lennon exclaimed, looking at the pencil and paper that Techie was using in awe.

"Do what?" Techie asked distractedly.

"Make stuff pop out of thin air to use?"

Techie looked at Lennon as though she was dealing with a small, thick child, "Because I'm the writer...I can write myself whatever I want. That's why. Honestly, haven't you ever seen 'Delirious'? Authors are pretty much Gods inside their fandoms."

"That's not fair!"

"Life ain't fair." Techie slid the scribbled on paper across the table to Lennon, "These are the ones I have in mind."

Lennon shifted in her chair and picked up the paper, giving it a glance, "You want me to WHAT?"

"What?" Techie asked, confused.

Lennon stood and shoved the paper under her creator's nose, one of her fingers pointing at one of the universes, "I am NOT doing this one!"

"Why not?"

"I jus- I- How- I'M NOT DOING IT!"

"Alright, alright, Lenny, calm down. I won't make you do _that_ one," Techie said soothingly, "But will you do the others?"

Lennon flopped down in her chair, brow furrowed, "Well...the first two are alright, I suppose...but the other three..."

"What's the matter with them?"

"It's just... three universes with _him_ in them? In a _row_?" Lennon sat back in her chair, "Madison's head will _explode._"

"You're right," Techie replied thoughtfully, mirroring the OC's actions perfectly, "That much of..._him_ is a lot for anybody to take, much less someone like Madge."

"So I won't have to do them back to back to back?"

"Well...not if you don't want to."

"Alright, you've got a deal," Lennon said, "On one condition."

"And what's that?"

"No more clown universes as long as I live," Lennon demanded. As Techie opened her mouth to speak, Lennon cut her off harshly, "And no loopholes either, you Shylock!"

"Whatever do you mean?" Techie asked as innocently as humanly possible.

"I mean," Lennon pegged a finger at Techie, "You won't kill me off, bring me back and _then_ send me to Killier Klowns From Outer Space or whatever."

Techie scoffed, "Those clowns weren't even scary."

"Not the point!" Lennon grouched, "You can't pull one of those 'Well, she said that I couldn't send her to a clown universe for the rest of her life, so I'll just kill her and then bring her back, and that counts as a whole _new_ lifetime' things."

"Damn it." Techie snapped her fingers, "And it was such a _good_ loophole too." She popped her jaw by shifting it to one side, a characteristic that carried over into her characters often, "Alright, Len. I won't ever send you to a clown heavy universe again."

Lennon looked satisfied and nodded once, "I want it in writing too, you know."

"Consider it written. In fact, this whole exchange will get a chapter of it's own so it's on the record. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic."

"I thought as much. Now then," the author stuck out her hand, "Have we got a deal?

Lennon eyed the hand warily before taking it, "We've got a deal."

---

A/N: I really did have every intention of writing a chapter in the Spawn universe and I really _did_ have to fight with my writer's conscience about it. I just could **not** put Lenny through a third Clown inhabited universe, much as I wanted to. I got halfway through writing the chapter and was suddenly so overwrought with guilt that I couldn't continue. I figured that I should probably just go lie down and get a fresh start the next day, but I had this dream.

No, literally. _This_ dream. This chapter _was_ my dream, right down to my Blues Brothers t-shirt. Me sitting across from Lenny in that stark, empty room, renegotiating her contract.

I neglected to write the bright pink floaty elephants that wandered through my dream about halfway through the renegotiations, because that would be crossing that fine line between parody and stupidity. Yes. Pink floaty elephants and a long conversation with a fictional character.

If ever there was an internal cry for help...

Anyways. Everybody who's known me for more than five minutes has a pretty good idea of who '_he'_ is and you can expect two universes starring _him_ coming up straight away. Well, actually I think the only one who'll know _right_ off the bat is Nenya. O.o... But then again, that's because she _gets_ it.

Trust me dear, it scares me more than it scares you, I promise.

-thinks about the next universes-

-giggles-

-giggles turn into squees-

-squees loudly and falls off chair-

Who? What? What?

What do you mean? I'm not a rabid fangirl in the brilliant guise of a responsible, sane adult. Don't be silly.


	15. Erroneously Contaminated Earl Grey

Madison Nelson's ordinarily uncrushable spirit was dampened quite thoroughly after spending sixteen hours aboard the 'Angelique', a passenger ship from the turn of the nineteenth century, which had all the modern amenities of a concentration camp.

She spent much of that time hanging over the edge of the ship, tossing her cookies.

She looked positively green when the ship finally came to port in Palau Palau.

Lennon looked even less excited with the prospect of this universe than Madison did.

"A dress…I can't _believe_ I'm wearing a dress! First a mini skirt and now a dress!" Lennon pressed her palms to either side of her ribcage, "And a corset...a CORSET! I can't breathe! Will the humiliation ever end?"

"Not bloody likely," came the honest reply from above.

Charlotte ignored Lennon and the phantom voice as she scanned the port, eyes narrowed. "Do you see him?"

Lennon groaned and shifted her spine slightly to the left to try and work the kink out of her back, "Gee, a guy in a bright red velvet cloak and Zorro mask…you'd think he'd be hard to miss, wouldn't you?"

The redhead glared at the geek from the corner of her eye, "Don't get smart, Len. We're supposed to be proper society ladies, remember?"

The geek just crossed her arms over her chest and made a face that was most definitely _not_ befitting a society lady in response.

"What's the deal with this universe anyways?" Lennon asked, already knowing the answer but understanding that a bit of exposition was in order for the reading masses who'd never seen Jack Of All Trades.

"Well, the plot goes like so," Charlotte said, "In eighteen hundred one, the revolution had been won, and Uncle Sam's favorite son had a job he needed done-"

"Hold it. Are you..._rhyming_?"

"Quoting the theme song," Charlotte answered with annoyance.

"It's got a theme song?" Lennon gaped, "With _words_?"

"Oh, never mind. I'll give you the condensed version. Napoleon is on his rise to power right now and there are two spies, one from the American government and one from the British out to thwart him in any way possible. The American spy has adopted a secret identity as the Daring Dragoon, a folk hero in mask and cloak who rights wrongs and saves the day."

"Batman without the gadgets," Lennon said thoughtfully.

"And with three times the attitude," Charlotte added, "Anyways, that's the basic plot outline."

Madison groaned and stood up, wiping her mouth on a handkerchief after being sick for what felt like the hundredth time, "I _hate_ boats."

Charlotte's demeanor softened slightly as she looked at her green around the gills teammate, "We'll be able to get off any time now."

"I can guarantee it won't be soon enough," Madison said with a wince, "I should have brought some Dramamine with me."

Lennon's eyes got big as she said sheepishly, "Uh...I forgot...I've got some in my luggage."

Madison's lips tightened into a thin white line and her left eye twitched, "You've had it all this time?"

"I forgot!" Lennon exclaimed in exasperation, "I've been a little busy with my own problems, you know."

"Lenny, you're not the only one who's wearing a corset," Madison snapped angrily.

"Yeah, but for you it's like playing dress up."

"Look!" Charlotte exclaimed suddenly in a very out of character manner just to get her two teammates to stop bickering, "The Governor of the island is waiting for us!"

Lennon took the bait, "Is that...is that _Napoleon_ with him?"

"Looks more like Mini-Me to me," Madison put in crankily, crossing her arms over her middle and her face going ashen as the boat lurched again.

"Tell me something, Madge," Lennon said snippily, "Do you _want_ us to be sent to the guillotine?"

"If it would end the seasickness," Madison snarked back at her superior.

"Alright, alright, that's enough," Charlotte stated diplomatically, stepping in between the two grouchy women, "The sooner we get off this boat, the sooner _everyone_ will feel better."

True to form, the Angelique came into port at that exact moment and Madison was dashing for the gang plank before anyone else even had the opportunity to think about it.

"Lemme off this crate!" She squeaked anxiously, rushing down the platform and onto the awaiting island.

The second she made it to solid ground, Madison dropped to her knees and kissed it repeatedly, "Land, land, beeeeeautiful _laaaand_."

"Oh yeah..._that's_ not going to draw any attention," Lennon muttered to herself as she and Charlotte started down the platform at a lady like pace, stopping at the end of the gang plank to stare at their seasick teammate who was so glad to reach solid land again that she was down on her knees in the dirt kissing it.

"Miss Andrews!" A voice from the crowd called.

Lennon gave Madison a swift kick in the shoe and the brunette scrambled up from the ground just in time as Emelia Rothschild and her Attaché walked up to the three.

"Miss Rothschild," Charlotte curtsied deeply, "Thank you for having us. I'm Charlotte Andrews."

Lennon spoke, "And I'm-"

"My sister Lizbeth," Charlotte said, cutting off Lennon before she could reveal her non-era appropriate name.

Lennon gave a curt nod since she couldn't really contemplate curtseying in such a tightly laced corset.

"And this is Margaret." Charlotte indicated Madison with a wave of her hand, who looked tickled pink by her new name.

Madison curtsied gracefully to Emelia and her Attaché, "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Lennon looked at the brunette like she was from another planet. She was enjoying playing this part a bit too much.

"Likewise. This is Jack Stiles, my Attaché."

The man who was standing next to Emelia gave a little bow, eyes all a twinkle and square jaw set into a charming smile.

"Jack, these are the Andrews sisters," Emelia said with a smile, "From the Gold Key Academy For Young Ladies. They'll be staying with us for the next two weeks."

"Young ladies?" Madison murmured under her breath.

"Two weeks?" Lennon muttered back at her.

"It'll be a _pleasure_ to have three such _lovely_ ladies on the island." Jack snapped up one of Madison's hands and kissed it, causing the brunette to go maroon in the face.

"Thank you, Mister Stiles," Madison gulped and turned away, unable to meet his eyes.

"I think we've found our Casanova Canon," Lennon whispered aside to Charlotte.

Just then, for no other reason than to keep things moving, the Governor of the island, a man in a powdered wig with a dowdy way about him, strode up to the small cluster of people who had just finished introducing themselves to each other.

Governor Crouqe had a full compliment of French soldiers accompanying him, led by one Captain Brogaurd, a proud looking fellow who fit the 'loyal but incredibly stupid first mate' stereotype perfectly.

Emelia took it upon herself to introduce each of the Bunny Bus-I mean, Andrews sisters to both Crouque and Brogaurd and just as Lennon was wiping her hand on the back of her dress after having it kissed by the slimy Frenchmen, a scream sounded from somewhere on the Angelique.

All three Bunny Busters gave a start, their first impulse to go assist whoever was in trouble, but they quickly realized that their current attire was most definitely _not_ suited to daring rescues, swordfights and other such activities.

Another scream sounded and the three women looked at each other desperately, not knowing what was going on, only knowing that someone was in trouble aboard the ship.

Jack Stiles gave the exact same start that the three Bunny Busters did at the sound of the screaming, but unlike them, he wasn't laced into corsets and heavy dresses, so he had the option of helping.

Which is exactly what he did...more or less.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to make a run for the little boys room. Spicy island food," Stiles laughed charmingly and patted his middle, "You know how it is."

And before anyone could protest, Jack Stiles was gone and the Daring Dragoon was swinging down from a rope that hung from the Crow's nest of the Angelique.

The three Bunny Busters looked at each other and then back to the action taking place. There was a lot of clashing swords, thrusting, perrying and witty, cheesy remarks from the masked man.

Within minutes, the not so epic battle had finished, and the Dragoon was gone, leaving Jack Stiles to wander back up to the group nonchalantly.

"Did you see the Dragoon, Monsieur Stiles?" Governor Crouqe inquired, "Only moments ago, he ran through the crowd in the direction that you just came from."

"And I thought Lois Lane was dense," Lennon muttered under her breath.

"Alas, no, Croaky," Jack replied, "Must've _just_ missed him."

"It is a shame, Jack, that you have yet to see the Daring Dragoon in action," the Captain said.

"Oh yes!" Madison supplied helpfully, pouring on the sweetness in her voice to assist in the deception, "You simply must see him. He was tres magnifique!"

Lennon's eyes rolled of their own accord as she saw the alarm on Crouque and Brogaurd's faces.

"But I mean...nowhere nearly as impressive as _your_ men, Mon Capitan," Madison amended sweetly, smiling at Brogaurd with as much charm as she could possibly muster.

As Brogaurd took an almost predatory step towards Madison, Charlotte stepped between them, quickly whipped out a delicate wooden fan and fanned herself demurely, "Now then, I believe we were promised a tour of the island?"

---

Two hours later found the three Bunny Busters in the comfortable home of Miss Emelia Rothschild, Madison seated on a settee with Jack Stiles across from her, and Lennon and Charlotte across the room in front of one of the numerous bookcases in Emelia's study. Charlotte was sitting on a plush French Provincial chair with a tea cup and saucer in hand, and Lennon was standing in front of the bookcase half a foot away from her, taking down books to flip through while speaking with her commanding officer in hushed tones.

"What do you think, Charlotte? Casanova Bunny?"

"There's no doubt in my mind," Charlotte replied, taking a sip from her tea cup without taking her eyes off Jack Stiles, who was conversing with Madison, pouring on the charm so thickly it was getting to the point that it could become a visible layer on his person.

"You know, it's been bugging me something awful," Lennon stated, glancing at Stiles as she put the book she had in her hands back and picked up another one.

"What's that, _Lizbeth_?" Charlotte couldn't suppress a smirk when Lennon glared at her, "Aside from your new moniker, that is."

"I _know_ him from somewhere," the geek answered, "But I just can't figure out _where_."

"I know exactly what you mean," Charlotte said thoughtfully, "He reminds me of somebody too...this bounty hunter I met a few years back when I was still working the cop 'verses. County, his name was...Brisco County."

Lennon blew an errant strand of hair out of her eyes, "At least you know where you know him from. That's something. I just...there's something about him that's just _so_ familiar."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"His chin...mostly."

Charlotte quirked a freshly regrown eyebrow at Lennon, "His...chin."

"Well, I mean there's other stuff too. The eyes, the nose...that damn cocky stride. It's like Kirk's walk but...smarmier."

"Smarmier?" Charlotte smiled, "Making up words to describe him now?"

"It was the only thing I could come up with without a thesaurus handy." Lennon flicked open the book in her hand that was titled 'Modern Science For The Modern World', "All I know is that I know him from somewhere and it's driving me nuts that I can't think of where."

"Well, have you ever done any universes that had his type in them?"

Lennon looked at Charlotte as though she was dense, "I was strictly _horror_ before, Charlie. The only smarmy guy I ever tangled with was Freddy Krueger, and this guy most definitely ain't _him._"

"No argument there," the Busters CO answered quietly as Madison and Stiles both broke out laughing wildly.

"Ugh. How did people ever get along without the theory of relativity?" Lennon asked with disgust as she read a passage in the 'modern' science text book.

"I have no idea," Charlotte said honestly, "What's the theory of relativity again?"

The black haired woman turned to look at the redhead dully, "Not into science then, I take it?"

"I was always more of an arts and crafts person."

"That figures," Lennon muttered as she set the book down and picked up another, "Ugh..no thanks, Jane Austen."

Charlotte stared straight ahead and recalled from memory, "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

The technology expert gaped at her commanding officer.

"Arts and crafts _and_ literature," Charlotte said carelessly in response to Lennon's unhinged jaw.

"Wow...I'm impressed."

"Don't be," Charlotte rolled her eyes, "My mother was of the opinion that one was not a complete person unless one read _all_ the classics. Austen, Doyle, Shakespeare, Dickens...you know, all those guys who'd make incredibly boring dinner conversation."

"In my house required reading was Mad magazine. I spent most of my childhood cursing Alfred E. Newman."

"I spent most of mine cursing Sherlock Holmes," the redhead replied, polishing off the last of her Earl Grey tea, "Ironic that I actually wound up _working_ with him."

"Any less irritating in person?" Lennon asked, setting Northanger Abbey aside in favor of picking up something else.

"No...that man grated on my nerves something terrible. All that 'deduction' nonsense. I always found Lieutenant Columbo to be much more entertaining to work with."

"That's where you got you cigar smoking habit, eh?" Lennon inquired knowingly.

"Yes as a matter of fact."

Another loud, boisterous stream of laughter came from Madison and Jack, causing both elder Busters to look at the two of them appraisingly.

"Well, back to the more pressing problem at hand," Charlotte said with a sigh, "Mister Stiles' Casanova behavior."

"I don't think anyone really considers it to be a 'problem', if _Margaret's_ actions are any kind of indicator," Lennon stated, looking at the two people across the room speak together in a lively fashion.

"She's young, she'll learn better."

"Yeah, _eventually_," Lennon said with distaste.

"I think she's more mature than you give her credit for."

"Really? I'm of the opposite opinion on that matter. She's the most man crazy creature I've ever come across."

"But it's part of her charm," Charlotte said fondly.

Lennon just snorted in response.

Madison's laughter broke out louder than it had been before and she called to her two teammates, "Le-Lizbeth, Charlotte, you simply _must_ hear this joke that Mister Stiles has just told me."

"I told ya already sweet cheeks," Jack said as he leaned across and pinched Madison's cheek, "Call me _Jack_."

Lennon turned aside so that she could shove her finger down her throat dramatically at hearing him use the term 'Sweet cheeks'.

"Alright..._Jack_," Madison corrected, blushing prettily, "You just _have_ to tell them the joke. We can all have some tea and chat."

Jack refilled both his and Madison's tea cup then as she said this and Charlotte and Madison glanced at each other.

"Alright, Margaret," Charlotte said, standing to return the book on the table next to her to it's proper place on the bookshelf, "We'll be there in a moment."

"It _would_ be the perfect opportunity to slip him the Anti Casanova solution," Lennon breathed, speaking as quickly as possible under her breath as she stalled for time by making certain that all the books were in proper order.

"Have you got any on you?" Charlotte asked, brushing off the front of her gown.

"Gee, I must've left it in my other _corset_," Lennon snarked.

Charlotte looked at Lennon severely, "Never mind. I've just remembered that I've got some tucked into the band of my knee stocking."

"That's convenient," the geek replied, dropping a book so that Charlotte could retrieve it.

Charlotte reached down for the book, slipped a hand up underneath her plentiful skirts and snatched up the tiny glass vial of Anti Casanova solution.

This entire exchange took all of thirty seconds, and when they turned back towards Madison and Jack, Charlotte with the small bottle clutched tightly in her hand and held stealthily behind her back, they made short work of crossing the room to their companions.

Lennon took a distracting seat next to Stiles, "Now then...what's this joke?"

Jack began and Lennon kept her eye on Charlotte, who listened while slowly inching toward his tea cup.

When he was through telling his anecdote, everyone laughed and Charlotte uncorked the bottle, dumped the contents in his cup and stepped away, all without rousing suspicion.

"That has to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard," Lennon said, chuckling and reaching for a cup from the tea service, "A toast!"

Madison eagerly raised her tea cup and Jack did the same, watching her all the while.

"To our most _charming_ of hosts," Lennon finished, "Mister Stiles, this is the most fun I've had in weeks."

And it wasn't a lie.

"Here, here!" Madison added excitedly, taking a sip from her cup.

Charlotte followed suit and Stiles did the same.

The two elder Busters looked at each other and then back to the canon with interest.

He blinked a few times and swayed slightly in his seat.

Madison's brow furrowed, "Jack? Are you alright?"

He turned to her, "Yeah...I'm...I'm...uh…what's the word? Oh! Fine. That's it. I'm fine."

The brunette looked at her two comrades with alarm.

The door to the study was flung wide and Emelia, who had been out somewhere rather inexplicably, entered.

"Ah, ladies. So sorry to have left you to fend for yourselves for so long. I had to speak with- well, it's not important." She smiled kindly, "Now I'm certain that you're tired from your trip and should be left to have a little rest."

Stiles nodded and got up from his seat, only mildly disoriented.

"You're absolutely right, Em," he said with all the liveliness of a corpse, "I'll take my leave of you girls for the evening."

Emelia didn't notice Jack's unusual behavior and just allowed him to pass her and leave the room.

"I am sorry that I left you alone with Jack," Emelia said as she sat down and picked up the porcelain teapot and poured herself a cup of tea, "I know that his charming banter can get to be quite tiresome after a while."

"Charming...banter?" Lennon gulped, "You mean he's...he's _always_ like that?"

"Ever since the day I first met him, yes. I dare say he's gotten a bit milder over the past year or so, but the scoundrel's charm is still there." Emelia sipped her tea and turned aside to talk to Madison.

Charlotte looked at Lennon in panic.

"We just gave Anti Casanova solution to a canon who's _supposed_ to be a Casanova."

"Oops?"

----

A/N: Ye Gods that was long. It stretches nine pages! Ah well...I couldn't stand to break it into two chapters, much as I wanted to, because I felt like I had to get it all over with at once. Which reminds me that I need to go finish that rewrite of the Lost World chapter. Hm.

Ahem. I'm listening to the Jack Of All Trades theme song right now. Bear in mind, I just downloaded it and haven't heard it since the show first aired in 2000...and I still know all the words. I can't remember where I put my keys, but I remember the theme song to JoaT from six years ago. Wtf brain!

Er..anyways. I'm a loyal Bruce Campbell fangirl (as if you didn't already know that) and I first discovered him via JoaT. Jack...oy...-swoon- Still makes me all Jell-o in the knees. Come to think of it, I ought to brush up on my JoaT knowledge and start writing fanfic for it. It really was cut down in it's prime (shame on you Universal studios...SHAME!). It was _hilarious_ and BC was just _so_ gorgeous.

If you want to watch the show (amazing that it's online) check out my live journal...I've got links up, or just search for it on youtube. The guy who runs the BC fan blog put the entire series up online (twenty something episodes). It's well worth the download time, I swear. -swoon-


	16. Yo, Tree Bitch, Let's Go

"Gimme some sugar, baby."

**WHACK!**

"So help me God, Williams, you try to kiss me _one_ more time and I'm gonna yank that chainsaw offa your hand and separate you from your most prized possession."

"I can always buy another chainsaw," Ash Williams said smugly, leering at Lennon more than was strictly necessary just because he knew how much she _hated_ it.

"I wasn't referring to the chainsaw," she said in a sugary tone, batting her eyes at him as provocatively as her pride would allow.

Quite clearly, they couldn't stand each other.

"I thought you were gone for good," he sneered.

"So did I, Williams, so did I."

"If I knew you were a'comin' I'da baked a cake."

"Made with the finest grade of arsenic, no doubt," Lennon answered as she straightened her shirt.

"Only the best for you, my love."

"Back off..._Ashley._"

Madison couldn't contain her giggle, "Ashley."

"You got a problem, kid?" The tall, dark and dreamy man growled.

"ALRIGHT! Hold everything! Time out!" Lennon cried, causing everything in place to freeze.

"Whaaaaat?" Came a whine from above.

"'Tall, dark and dreamy'?" Lennon sniped, "Don't make me barf. Have some integrity, would you please?"

There was a small strangling sound from above and a few muffled curses before the author relented, "Alright..._fine_."

Things rewound a few seconds and began anew, right from Madison's last line.

"You got a problem, kid?" He growled nastily.

The young brunette took a step back as the instinct for self preservation surged up inside her and shook her head vigorously.

"How exactly do you know each other?" Charlotte asked suspiciously, eying the two

"Remember how I told you I worked the Horror fandoms?" The geek said, raising her arms in a gesture of 'here it is', "This is Evil Dead. I got stuck here for close to a week my third week in training." Lennon glared at Ash, "And now I know where I remember Stiles from."

"Lenny!" Madison exclaimed, "You're not supposed to mention fandoms and things in front of canons! Their entire universes could collapse if they know about the fourth wall!"

"Oh shut up, Madge," Lennon replied irritably, annoyed to have been dropped in a horror fandom when she was transferred already, "Horror fandoms are unique in the fact that the usual fourth wall violation codes don't apply. These fandoms are on the verge of collapse constantly anyways, always teetering on the brink, and since everything here is so nuts anyway, it doesn't really matter whether they know about the fourth wall or not. "

"'We're all mad here' is the phrase you're looking for."

"Shove a sock in it, Williams."

"You'll be begging to pick out china patterns with me one day, dearest," he said sweetly, sarcasm lacing the words as surely as one would lace a drink with poison.

"Alright, look here, Lenny," Charlotte said sternly, "I don't want to hear another word from your snarking mouth unless it's to explain how we wound up in a Horror fandom when we belong in Sci-Fi/Fantasy."

Ash looked on smugly as Lennon worked her jaw for a few seconds, debating whether or not she wanted to risk griping at her commanding officer or not.

She ultimately decided against it and opted to push plot instead, "The way I figure it, this is an accidental crossover. The two universes overlap because they've got such similar _characters_," Lennon looked meaningfully at Ash, "in them and no one's bothered to patch up the hole between them yet."

"And we just...fell through?" Charlotte asked.

"Bingo," Lennon said, pointing a finger at Charlotte.

"So how do we get back?" Madison questioned.

"We've gotta find the fandom exit and get out of here as soon as possible."

"Why?"

"Um..._helloooo_! Earth to Madison! This is a **HORROR FANDOM**!" Lennon knocked on Madison's forehead with her fist, "We're not even properly equipped for this kind of mission. We've gotta get outta here before things go to-"

The ground rumbled and the four people looked at each other in alarm.

One of the forest trees had pulled itself up out of the ground and was lumbering along on it's roots.

"Aw hell."

There were two identical screams and Lennon and Ash turned just in time to spot Charlotte and Madison being grabbed around the ankles and dragged away by tree branches that had snaked their way through the underbrush and had sprung when they were distracted.

Lennon cried out and took a step in the direction that her teammates were dragged, when the ground trembled beneath her, she turned and suddenly realized that she had bigger problems to deal with.

The tree monster towered above both Ash and Lennon by a good ten feet. The bark was cracked in half in the center, leaving a huge gaping hole in the tree trunk that resembled a hungry mouth full of jagged wooden teeth. It roared so loudly that the entire forest seemed to vibrate with the power of the sound and Lennon was sure she felt her bones reverberate within the confines of her muscles.

Both Lennon and Ash, for reasons unknown (and that they would vehemently deny later on) moved half a step closer to one another.

Mostly it was because the author had this sick desire to see the two of them together. Really, two snarky people were such fun to force into such situations.

"I think this is the part where I'm supposed to say I've always loved you."

"Oh shut up, Ash!"

The monster lunged and Lennon and Ash both dove in opposite directions. Lennon landed awkwardly on her side on a tree root with a loud "OOF!"

Dirt and leaves sprang up from the ground and a series of huge, booming shots rang out as Ash emptied his shotgun, magically not needing to reload at all.

The monster squalled and staggered back, giving Lennon enough time to pull her own weapon and begin firing, planting a dozen bullet's deeply into it's trunk. Charlotte and Madison, who had managed to escape the grasp of the trees, soon added their own gunfire to that of their teammate, and within minutes, the tree monster was felled and all was quiet once again.

Ash, in his typically gorgeous, handsome and all around-

Lennon made a hemming noise and the author had to go back and change her terminology.

Ash, in his typically heroic way, slung his shotgun back over his shoulder and grabbed Lennon by the arm and pulled her out of the dirt.

In true cliché fashion, he delivered his signature line and dove in for a kiss.

"Hail to the king, baby."

**WHACK!**

----------

A/N: Yeeheeheehee -is totally evil- I couldn't stop myself. I just...couldn't. However, I'm going to be doing Sue-penance for this chapter later, I can tell. I just had to write out this silly little bit of fantasy just to satisfy my desire to see Lenny in Ash's arms -pictures it-.

Yes, I'll be paying for this later. Authoric karma and all like that. Hopefully, that fantabulous -bats self on the back- dialogue will have made up for it in some small way. I _love_ writing snark...oh, how I've missed it.

Anyways. Evil Dead has evil trees. Go rent the movies if you don't believe me. Someone's always getting attacked by the trees. It's equal parts hilarious and horrifying if you think about it...to go off to a nice cabin in the woods and then the woods are evil. There's also a 'Tree Bitch' (I swear, I'm not making this up) in the ED video game 'Hail To The King' which serves as the inspiration for the tree monster.


	17. Time To Take Out The Minorah

New York city in December was equal parts beautiful and hideous, but then again, that was New York. Rockafeller Center's ice rink was just as picturesque as ever, but the filthy slush in the gutters detracted from it slightly.

Lennon's beaten up lime green Pinto pulled up in front of a walk up on Amsterdam avenue that was the Fisk family home and the muffler backfired when she cut the engine.

Madison, who had spent the entire trip singing 'Dreidel, Dreidel, Made Of Clay' at the top of her lungs, was suddenly silent and had her face pressed up against the glass of the small car.

"Woooow," she murmured, her breath fogging up the frosty window, "This is where you live?"

"Liv_ed_. Past tense," Lennon answered, pulling the keys out of the ignition, "I haven't lived here since I was fourteen."

Charlotte was dozing in the passengers seat and snapped awake when the engine backfired, her gun drawn on instinct, "Who? What? Huh?"

Lennon hastily grabbed Charlotte's gun and pushed it down, "Watch it with that. That kinda thing will get you shot by the cops around here."

Charlotte smacked her lips sleepily and put her gun back inside her jacket, "We're here?"

Lennon turned and kicked the bent in driver's side door open, "We're here."

Tucking her jacket more tightly around herself and pushing down a yawn, Charlotte climbed out of the car as well. She slipped and almost lost her balance on the icy sidewalk, but righted herself.

Madison, instead of climbing out on the driver's side, next to the curb, decided to climb out of the passenger side and stumbled into the street.

A sunshine yellow cab spun around a corner out of nowhere and nearly clipped her with it's mirror.

"HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOIN'!" The cabbie screamed out of his window, shaking his fist without slowing down.

"UP YOURS!" Lennon shouted back at him, making a gesture with one of her hands that Madison was unaware was physically possible. The cab driver screams a couple more obscenities at Lennon before he turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

"I LOVE THIS TOWN!" Madison shouted, throwing her arms up in the air.

Charlotte smiled and Lennon rolled her eyes, "You're going to love it a lot less in a few minutes. C'mon."

She started up the salt covered steps, talking the whole way, "The first thing you've gotta know about my family is never, ever, _ever_ mention your marital status in front of anybody. If you tell them you're single, they'll have a nephew waiting in the wings for you, if you tell them you're married they'll ask how that's going and when you're going to be having kids."

Charlotte and Madison followed up after Lennon, trying not to slip.

"Secondly, don't touch anything any of the kids offer you. No matter how cute and innocent they look, don't buy it for a second. I swear to God we've got the worst group of trouble makers in this family and there's no telling when something's got itching powder on it or has ex-lax _in_ it."

Madison covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.

"Thirdly, my sister-in-law Delores is an issue unto herself. She's the bitchiest woman on the planet so it'll take some effort to at least _try_ not to throttle her." Lennon straightened her jacket and shoved her key in the door lock, "I usually dig my fingernails into my thigh...that helps to squelch the urge a bit."

Lennon turned the key and jiggled it three times, "And finally, my dad. Daddy's the nicest guy on the planet, he's just a little...small minded sometimes. He _really_ is an ok guy, but the times have kinda left him behind a little bit. When I brought Sebastian for Hanukkah last year, Daddy kept asking if he had a nice girlfriend yet."

The geek grabbed the doorknob braced her shoulder against the wood and then gave a mighty shove inwards.

Madison thought that perhaps the wood would buckle with the force of the blow Lennon had just dealt the door, but instead it was flung wide and the three of them piled inside the entryway.

Lennon immediatly stripped out of her coat and hung it up on one of the dozen or so hooks on the wall parallel the door, indicating with a wave of her hand that her teammates should do the same.

"NON!" Came a joyous shout, followed by the sounds of two sets of toddling feet along the floor.

Two small boys, both wearing the same identical bowl haircuts, rounded the corner of the entryway and launched themselves at Lennon.

She was knocked on her back, and the two twin boys bounced up and down on her, shouting 'Non! Non! Non!' at the top of their lungs.

"I get it, I get it! You're happy to see me!" Lennon pulled at the two clingy creatures and struggled to a seated position. Of course, this didn't deter them. They just changed tactics, wrapping their little arms around her neck and squeezing.

Charlotte had to shove down a laugh as the geek's eyes bulged, "Boys...Non can't breathe, lemme go."

They giggled and loosened their grip enough so that she could breathe again.

"Now you little heathens, this is Charlotte and Madison," Lennon said to them, speaking as though they were adults, "You can call them...well, whatever you can pronounce, I suppose. I call them Charlie and Madge, but Lot and Mad are probably more up your alley." Lennon turned back to her teammates, "Guys, these are my nephews Stanley and Oliver."

"Stan and Ollie?" Charlotte asked with a grin.

"This family is notorious for naming children cruelly," Lennon said with a sigh, "But don't let Delores catch you calling them that. She still doesn't get why my brother wanted to name them Stanley and Oliver and it's our own private little joke."

"They're adorable!" Madison exclaimed as they grabbed her around the ankles and squeezed.

"Sure, if you like demon seed," Lennon replied as she scrambled up off the floor and cracked her back.

"How old are they?" The brunette asked as she scooped one of the boys up and swung him around, making him squeal with glee.

"Like I keep track," Lennon looked down at Stanley, "What are you? Thirty?"

The boy giggled and held up two fingers.

"Ah...two...close enough."

"Stanley, Oliver!" A woman rounded the corner of the hallway as Madison stopped spinning and almost fell over, Oliver still in her arms.

"Oh! Lennon, you're here," The woman said as she walked up with a smile that was bordering on a grimace on her face, "Glad to see you've put on some weight."

"Nice to see you too, Delores," Lennon said through an identical grimacy smile, "I'd like you to meet my friends from work, Charlotte Walker and Madison Nelson."

Delores shook both their hands and smiled in that way that's warm on the surface but icy underneath. Her face was one of those that looked like it was perpetually frozen in a state of hoity-toity-ness. Her nose was upturned at the end and slightly bulbous, a big difference from Lennon's, which was more Barbara Striesand than Judy Garland.

"Charlotte, I simply _must_ ask," she began, "Where do you get your hair done?"

"Um...'done'? I don't know what you mean."

"Where do you get it done? That dye job is fantastic! It _must_ be a professional job."

"Well...thank you, but it's my natural color," Charlotte replied.

"Of course it is," Delores winked exaggeratedly, "Only your hair dresser knows for sure, right hun?"

The front door opened suddenly and Madison was knocked forward by a huge Great Dane straining at his leash, yanking a tall, slim dark haired man behind him.

"Archie! CALM DOWN BOY!"

Lennon's face had broken out in a genuine grin before the sound of clicking, scrambling toe nails on the linoleum gave way to her being flattened once more.

Archie's doggy lips were drawn up at the corners in the closest thing to a grin that a Great Dane could manage and his two front paws rested squarely on Lennon's chest, holding her in place.

"Gack! No! Arch-" Archie's wet sandpapery tongue came out and slobbered all over Lennon's face, "Oh...ew! Archie!"

The man who had been walking the dog, who would later be revealed to be Lennon's older brother, had the remnants of the leash in hand, both hands fisted at his waist, "Say what you will about dogs being color blind, but the second he saw that damned green Pinto of yours, he went nuts."

"Just get him off of me, Martin," Lennon grumbled from underneath eighty pounds of excited, slobbering dog.

Lennon's brother smiled and reached around the dog's ribcage, pulling Archie off her chest. He offered her his hand and yanked her up off the floor.

"Alright there, Len?" Martin asked, brushing her off.

"No thanks to you," Lennon groused, swatting his hands away in an annoyed sisterly fashion, "Madge, Charlie, this is my brother Marty."

He smiled and shook their hands, as Lennon wiped at her face with her hand.

"Yeach...I'm going to go wash up," Lennon said in a grumble, "Doggie drool clashes with the ensemble."

"You can't," Delores said smartly, "Eddie's in there."

"You've got another brother?" Madison inquired.

"Sister," Lennon replied absently, "How long has she been in there?"

"The past half hour or so...she just came in and locked herself in the bathroom."

Lennon rolled her eyes, "Typical fifteen year old...I'll get her out."

The geek started down the hallway before stopping and then doubling back, "Uh...you girls'll be alright without me, right?"

"They'll be fine, Nonny," Martin teased, garnering a nasty glare from his sister.

"Just keep them away from Ma until I can introduce 'em properly," Lennon started back down the hallway, "Last thing they need is to meet Ida Fisk in full Mother Hen mode without me as a buffer."

---

A/N: Didn't have the strength to do all of the Fisk family holiday in one shot, so it's been broken in half.

Ahem. Lenny's brother was literally pulled out of thin air because I wanted to give her a set of nephews and I already had a younger sister planned, plus the bitchy sister in law is a fun archetype to play with.

On Len's nephews: I have two Godsons that do that to me whenever I enter their house. It's like-

"Techie's here...ATTACK!"

"NO! Wait! I-"

**THUD.**

"Owie."

As for their names, I watched a Laurel and Hardy movie the other day and decided that I _had_ to name Lenny's nephews Stan and Ollie. If I ever have the misfortune of having children (for them, it would be a misfortune, believe me...I would screw up my kids _so_ badly) I'll probably name them something weird.

Ha. I remember when my mom asked me what I would name my kids and I told her Moe, Larry and Shemp.

Ahem. Anyways. Moving on, yes, yes. Next chapter, the meeting of the Ma and after that...I have no clue. Just no ideas at all. Tell me which universes you want to see most, mmk? As long as I'm familiar with the 'verse, I'll go with the majority.


	18. Put On Your Yamulcha

After leaving Martin, Delores, the twins and her teammates, Lennon strode down the long hallway, past open doorway after open doorway, until she came upon the solid oak door that led to the bathroom.

The geek knocked softly on it.

There was no response so she tried again, louder this time.

"Eddie?" she ventured, "It's Lenny...open up."

"No!" Came a voice from the other side of the door.

"Eddie..."

"Get lost!"

Lennon got annoyed, "Eddie, teen angst don't fly with me, now open up!"

"I don't want to talk to anybody!"

"Too damn bad! You're gonna talk to **me**! Now open the-"

"GET BENT!"

"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT! Open the damn door or I'm gonna bust it down!" Lennon shoved her shoulder against the door and jarred it, "C'mon Eddie, you know I will! Ma will be pissed if I break the only good solid door left in the house! OPEN THIS DOOR!"

"GO AWAY LENNY!"

Lennon banged on the door with her fist, "KENNEDY FISK! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

The geek took two steps back in the small hallway and was about to run head on at the door when it flew open.

The teenage girl who opened the door had mascara streaked down her cheeks behind her frameless spectacles and her black hair was wildly flying around her face in a flurry of friz. She was a younger, shorter version of Lennon, in a chocolate brown cowl neck sweater.

"My God, Kennedy...what the hell happened to you?"

Kennedy took three sharp, deep breaths and let them out in a series of huffs, "I flunked the entrance exam!"

"Again?"

"AGAIN!"

"And that's a reason to look like the wild woman of Borneo?"

"Bite me, Lenny!"

"No thanks...wouldn't want to run the risk of catching anything."

Quick as a flash, the door started to slam shut, but Lennon was fast enough to catch it with her hand. Kennedy pushed with all her might, but she and Lennon were pretty evenly matched in the strength department so it was a stale mate for several minutes.

"Let me in, Kennedy!" Lennon snapped, her face pressed in between the door frame and the door.

"NO!" Kennedy gave a hard shove and her sister was dealt a blow to the side of the head.

This only strengthened Lennon's resolve and she pushed harder. Finally, after several minutes of struggling and grunting, she forced her way inside and shut the door behind herself.

Lennon leaned back against the door, bent over and put her hands on her knees, trying to recover. Kennedy, meanwhile, huffed loudly, plopped down on the toilet seat lid, crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from her sister.

When Lennon sufficiently recovered, she stood and looked at her younger sister from beneath hooded lids, "You know, I _really_ wish we didn't have to do this every year."

Kennedy just made a 'hmph' noise and stuck her nose in the air.

"Oh hey now. It's not _my_ fault you flunked."

The younger woman turned to look at the elder, her bottom lip quivering.

"Oh hell...don't _cry._" Lennon flapped her arms helplessly, "I'm terrible with crying!"

"I'm not gonna cry!" Kennedy snapped angrily, wiping at her face with the heels of her hands, "I'm _done_ crying for the day."

"Good. Last thing I need today is _more_ drama." The geek crossed her arms over her chest wearily and leaned her head back against the door.

Kennedy let her curiosity get the better of her, "More?"

"The twins flattened me, Delores was her charming self and Archie slobbered all over me," Lennon scrubbed a hand over her face, "Speaking of which...that's why I wanted to come in here in the first place." Lennon crossed the small bathroom to the sink, tripping over the patch of bright orange shag carpeting that lay on the floor in front of it.

She turned on the water and pulled a towel off the towel horse and commenced washing her face.

Kennedy remained quiet during all of this until Lennon made a squeaking noise and started fanning her face.

"Soap. Eyes. OW!"

A tiny smile blossomed on Kennedy's face and after she enjoyed her sister's agony for three whole seconds, she got up and grabbed the towel that Lennon managed to knock off the sink and into the floor with her flailing.

"Here," Kennedy said, grabbing hold of Lennon's hand and shoving the towel into it.

Lennon mumbled something into the towel as she started wiping the soap off her face vigorously. When she was finished, her face was red and she looked incredibly scruffy.

"Thanks," Lennon said, as she slipped her glasses back on.

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes before Lennon lifted one eyebrow and looked at her younger sister pointedly, "How bad was it?"

Kennedy looked down at her shoes with shame, "Real bad, Lenny...I didn't even score seventy percent."

Lennon whistled, "Wow. That's pretty...sucky."

"Tell me about it," Kennedy said sadly, flopping back down on the toilet seat lid.

"I don't think you want me to do that," Lennon answered, "Have you told Ma yet?"

"Oh God no...she was so excited about the whole thing and now..." Kennedy looked at Lennon helplessly, "I don't know what I'm going to tell her."

"It better be the truth or she's gonna tan your hide."

"I'm just...I'm not," the young geek glanced at the older one, "What do you think I should do?"

Lennon sighed and sat down on the edge of the bathtub, propping her feet up on the toilet seat lid, "I'm not very big in the life lesson worthy advice department. You should probably ask someone whose life isn't quite as messed up as mine. Marty, for instance."

"I don't want Marty's opinion, I want _your_ opinion."

"I think...I think," Lennon was gesturing with her hands helplessly, "I think I'm the wrong person to ask, that's what I think."

"Lenny..."

"Look, Eddie all I can tell you is that everybody is meant to do _something_," Lennon said, "Marty was meant to be a Doctor. Delores was meant to be a bitchy unfulfilled housewife. I'm meant to do...whatever the hell it is that I do. You'll find what you're supposed to do with your life eventually."

"But I _want_ to be a Bunny Buster," Kennedy said.

"And you will be, if that's what you're really meant to be."

"But I keep failing the entrance exam," Kennedy winced.

"Oh, and you think I passed the first time around?"

"Didn't you?"

"Hell no, are you kidding?" Lennon tried to lean back and managed to slide off the edge of the tub before grabbing hold of the lemon yellow striped shower curtain and pulling herself back up, "I had to take the entrance exam three times before I scraped under the wire by the skin of my teeth. Just because I'm a Buster _now_ doesn't mean it was easy to get _in_."

"Yeah but you were training in the academy by the time you were fourteen! I'm fifteen and I haven't even passed the entrance exam yet!"

"Yeah, I was, but I wanted to work in horror, so I got an early start on purpose," Lennon shrugged her shoulders, "You don't have to worry about it for real until you're sixteen. If you don't get in by _then_..."

"That's really reassuring, Lenny."

"Do you want honestly or shameless flattery? 'Cause I can do both equally well."

"What if I don't get in, Len? What'll I do?"

"You'll get in." Lennon looked at Kennedy reassuringly, "And if I know the one in charge, and her friends," Lennon glanced upwards briefly, "and I _do_, you'll have a long, lusterous career ahead of yourself long after I've been retired."

Kennedy looked hopeful, "You really think so?"

"I know so."

"Why?" Kennedy narrowed her eyes at her sister suspiciously, "What have you heard?"

Lennon smiled, "I happen to know there's a Smallville parody with your name _all_ over it."

"Really?"

"Yup. You'll have a starring part," Lennon got up from where she was sitting and started for the door, "C'mon, Ma has probably already sniffed out Charlie and Madge and has broken out the family albums."

Kennedy grinned and followed her sister out of the bathroom.

"Um...Lenny," Kennedy began as they walked out into the hallway, "What's Smallville?"

"You'll find out when it premieres in the year two thousand and one."

"Oh...ok."

------

A/N: Oh...how I love naming Lennon's siblings. You notice a theme here? XD All shall be revealed in time...

The final part of the Hanukkah saga will be coming up next and we'll finally get to meet Lenny's Ma. After that, it'll be back to the fandoms.

And there _is_ a Smallville parody with Eddie's name all over it. Now that I've established her character, I can finally get back to The Night Smallville Exploded. Muaha.


	19. It's Time For Hanukkah!

Gah. I meant to finish the Hanukkah saga before Hanukkah actually ended. Dang it.

Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and Techies.

-

The Fisk family of 1928 Amsterdam avenue, Queens (formerly of the Bronx, formerly of Greenwich village and so on and so on) was a family with a long, rich history, which stretched close to two hundred years, _all_ the way back to the old country.

Namely: New Jersey.

One of Ida Fisk's favorite past times was relating the tales of the Fisks through the ages to her children, her children's friends, her other family members, her other family members friends, cats...

Anything that would sit still long enough, to be honest.

She found herself two such creatures while Lennon and Kennedy were having their little row in the cramped apartment's bathroom in the form of Madison and Charlotte and was now giving them a brief history of the family, complete with visual aids.

Yes, Lennon's worst fear had indeed come to pass.

The woman had broken out the family albums.

Oy gavalt.

When Lennon and Kennedy entered the small walk in closet that passed for a living room, they found their _beloved_ mother in all her heavily hair sprayed glory seated on the worn gray sofa, with her captive audience and a _gargantuan_ photo album spread out on her lap.

Amazingly, Madison and Charlotte actually looked _interested_ in what Ida was showing them.

Martin, however, who was leaning against the wall nearby, a drowsy Archie draped over his feet, didn't look amused in the least. He brightened considerably when he spotted his younger sisters and worked his way out from under the sleeping Great Dane.

"Oh that was eons ago, my dear. I was a radical in the sixties, you know," Ida said happily, pointing at a photograph that, if Lennon knew her mother, was a copy of her mug shot from her protesting days. "I was there when Martin Luther King was shot, you know that? I was nineteen years old." Mrs. Fisk laughed, "That was a hell of a thing...it sent me into labor."

Madison gaped, "You were pregnant?"

"Oh yes...I gave birth before the day was out."

Madison nodded sagely, "That's why you named your son Martin?"

"You catch on quick," Ida answered, smiling, "When my second child was born the day John Lennon was shot...well, I took it as a sign."

"And Kennedy?"

"Twentieth anniversary of J.F.K.'s death."

"You named your children after three great visionaries, Mrs. Fisk." Madison said with admiration.

"Yes...and my grandchildren are named after slapstick comedians," she answered, glaring at her son who answered with a sheepish shrug.

"What's the matter with Stan and Ollie?" Lennon asked, making her presence known to the oblivious women on the sofa, "It's infinitely better than Bud and Lou."

No sooner had the words left her mouth than Lennon found herself getting the stuffing squeezed out of her by her mother.

"Lennon! Oh, you nebish, where _have_ you been? Look at this, you're thin as a rail! Are you eating? What the devil is that on your face? What's with the wincing? Did you break another rib? You did! You DID! I _knew_ you shouldn't have-"

"MA!" Lennon squeaked, "I'm wincing 'cause you're _squeezing_!"

Ida released her daughter instantly, "Is that any way to talk to your mother?"

"No, Ma," Lennon said contritely, fighting the incredibly strong urge to roll her eyes. Kennedy stifled a giggle.

Ida beamed from behind her spectacles, "Oh, it's _so_ nice to have the whole mischpaca together again."

Ida was silent then, but her daughter (and everyone _else_ in the room who had known Ida for longer than five minutes) knew what was coming.

Lennon started the silent countdown.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

"So have you met a nice boy yet?"

Ida Fisk, alias: most predictable conversationalist on the planet.

However, this time, Lennon had a satisfactory answer to give her mother, "Yes, Ma. I've met a guy...and he is _such_ a mensch!"

"Well you know, you're not getting any younger and-" Ida stopped in mid-parental diatribe, "You _have_?"

"You _have_?" Everyone else echoed, looking shocked.

"Knock it off or I'm going to be insulted," Lennon snapped irritably, "_Yes_, I've met someone."

"Who?" Madison asked, cutting Ida off before she could even _think_ of asking.

After all, during the past few months, the three Bunny Busters had been inseparable. Madison couldn't think of anyone at the agency that Lennon had met...

"You met him, Madge," Lennon answered, staring Madison down meaningfully, "We were in that motel...he brought us dinner..."

"You mean...you mean..._Ringo_?" Charlotte asked, gaping.

A look of discomfort crossed Lennon's features but she jabbed her chin down once in the affirmative.

Ida looked like she was ready to _burst_ from happiness, "Ringo and Lennon...what are the odds. Two Beetles! Two peas in a pod! When will I get to meet this Ringo?"

"Well...we aren't..._exactly_ dating."

The look on Lennon's mother's face went from happy to thunderous in seconds flat, "Don't tell me! Lennon, what have I told you? They never buy the cow if they can get the-"

"Ma!" Lennon's face turned beet red, "Milk hasn't even entered the equation yet!"

"Yet? YET? So you mean you're planning on-"

"**MOTHER**!"

Charlotte and Madison dissolved into giggles, trying to stuff their fists in their mouths to stifle the laughter.

Lennon glared at them angrily...

They laughed harder.

Even Martin and Kennedy were sporting the patented Fisk Family Smirk (TM); the one where the left hand corner of the upper lip curled up.

"So you're not dating him," Ida said, "Why not?"

"He lives...a long...long ways away."

"Where?"

"Um...Maryland."

Well...it wasn't a _lie_.

Not exactly.

He _did_ live in Maryland...

In a fictional universe.

So, Maryland was still accurate...right?

"So?"

"Well...I only met him last month, Ma..."

"A month? A month you've known and you didn't _tell_ me?"

Madison and Charlotte were red in the face and choking on their barely contained giggles.

Lennon was saved from answering by a loud eruption from the kitchen that sounded like a small bomb went off.

Ida, who was all ready to tear into her daughter about not telling her about the new man in her life, suddenly looked like she was trying to remember what she'd forgotten.

"Gah! The fish!"

Smoke billowed out of the small kitchen and into the living room.

Mrs. Fisk made short work of rushing to the kitchen through the black cloud, waving her arms to clear the smoke.

With her mother out of the room, Lennon breathed a sigh of relief.

Well, she certainly dodged_ that_ bullet.

Ida poked her head back into the living room, fire extinguisher in hand, "And don't think this means you won't have to tell me everything later young lady."

The last thing that Lennon heard before the smoke alarm went off was the sound of her siblings and friends laughing loud enough to wake the dead (or as Lenny called him 'Daddy').

"Oh shut up."

-

A/N: Today's Yiddish lesson!

Mensch-Gentleman (snicker...Langly...gentleman...)

Mischpaca-Family.

Finally, next chapter, we're back in the fandoms (as soon as I figure out which one I'm going to do next, that is 0.0)


	20. When File Folders Get Lost

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

"Ow."

The sound of three OCs hitting the road echoed in the stillness of the night. Lennon, Madison and Charlotte had all landed face down in the dirt, seemingly falling out of nowhere and no doubt leaving the audience (not to mention themselves) terribly confused.

Lennon grumbled into the ground and lifted her head to look around, her glasses hanging askew as she spat out the dirt that had made it's way into her mouth on impact. "What the **hell** just happened?"

Charlotte groaned and rolled over, her back creaking with the effort, "It feels like a crossover. Just dropping out of one universe and into another...ouch." The Busters commander sat up and shook her head to clear it before she took in her surroundings.

Madison also sat up, "Where are we?"

Lennon blinked a few times and looked around before she rolled over onto her back. There was a tavern about twenty paces down the way, medievil in origin, complete with stable and a battered wooden sign which read 'Brigand's Hostlery', where candlelight streamed out the small windows into the dark.

"It's no universe that I'm familiar with," she grumbled as she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

Madison looked at her superior, confusion written on her face clear as day, "But you're familiar with all the sci-fi/fantasy 'verses. How is it possible that we landed in one you don't know about?"

Lennon was about to say 'I don't know', when her brain recovered from the jarring blow it took when she had hit the ground moments before and she sat up suddenly, staring at Charlotte as recognition hit them both like a brick to the back of the skull.

The commander spoke first, "You don't think she-"

"I do!" Lennon exclaimed.

"She wouldn't dare," Charlotte said, anxiety creeping into her tone without her permission.

"Clearly she would! The canons were left behind in their 'verses and we're _here..._what other explanation is there?" The geek asked heatedly as she sprang to her feet and dusted herself off.

"What are you talking about?" Madison asked, completely muddled.

"The illustrious author!" Lennon shouted, "She's abandoned us in favor of creating an entirely new universe! That's why I've been stuck in the last chapter listening to the two of you guffaw about my mother for the past two months!"

"She would never do that!" Madison cried, defending her creator, "She hasn't abandoned us, it's just writer's block like usual!"

"She isn't blocked, she's just been using all her time to develop _this_ place," Lennon sneered, turning to glare at the quaint medievil tavern with disgust, "She's left us in the lurch."

"But we're her favorites!" the brunette exclaimed as she too got to her feet, "We've even pushed that Harry Potter OC whats-her-face out of the top three, she wouldn't just leave us like that!"

Lennon laughed bitterly, "You're forgetting what happened to Megara, Madison. She was left hanging at the end of her chapter fifty eight for close to four months without so much as a seconds thought from her creator, before she finally got dumped in the recycle bin. Remember? Techie got interested in Atlantis suddenly and then the HP universe was all but forgotten, leaving three stories unfinished and a bunch of characters with unresolved issues!"

Madison looked like she might burst into tears at any moment, "And now she's left the APBA? And us? For this place?"

Charlotte put her hand on Madison's shoulder comfortingly, "Now Madison-"

The geek flailed her arms angrily, cutting off whatever comfort her CO was ready to give to the newb with her ranting, "It certainly looks that way! Why that fickle, flightly, self absorbed-"

"Lennon, hang on now-"

"Self involved, easily distracted, overly caffienated-"

"Lenny!"

"Egotistical nerd! What's so great about this place anyway?" Lennon all but screamed.

"**LENNY!**" Charlotte shouted.

"WHAT?" Lennon exclaimed, finally halting her diatribe as she rounded on the redhead.

"If she had forgotten about us completely, we'd still be in limbo at the end of the last chapter, waiting for the next part of the story." Charlotte gestured around herself, "Instead, we're aware of our surroundings and in a totally new universe."

Lennon crossed her arms over her chest haugtily, "Alright, if she didn't forget us, then what happened to us? Hm? I'd _love_ to hear your explanation for this one."

"An accidental crossover," Charlotte stated logically.

"An 'accidental' crossover?" Madison asked, her eyes shining with unshed tears of anxiety, "I thought we already experienced one of those..."

"Not _that_ kind of accidental crossover," Charlotte said quietly.

Lennon narrowed her eyes at her commanding officer, "You mean she saved our next chapter in the wrong folder..._again_?"

Charlotte nodded, "She must've had a bunch of wordpad windows open and accidentally cut and paste one of _our_ scenes in this file."

Lennon let out a little huff, "Oh great. Which means she's probably freaking out, turning everything upside down looking for what she wrote for us and not finding it where it belongs. Typical."

Madison's lower lip was quivering quite a bit less than it had been a few minutes before, "So she hasn't abandoned us?"

Charlotte rubbed the brunette's shoulder in a comforting way, "No. She'd never really abandon us. Not completely."

The youngest Buster sniffed and rubbed her eyes, "What do we do then? How do we get back?"

The geek made a face, "We don't. We're stuck here until _she_ finds us and puts us back where we belong."

"So we wait?" Madison asked.

"Yes. We wait," Charlotte replied, reiterating the obvious.

Lennon glared at nothing in particular as Madison blew her nose on her shirt sleeve and wiped her eyes once more, while Charlotte stared down the road, watching for any sign of...well, anything.

Five minutes passed.

"Any minute now," the CO said, trying to force some cheer into her tone.

Ten minutes.

"Yup...any second."

Twenty minutes.

"Any time now..."

After close to half an hour, Lennon's patience finally wore so thin that she squared her shoulders and set off for the entrance to the tavern.

"Lennon! What're you doing?" Charlotte called after her teammate.

The geek turned to regard her commanding officer, "What? You think I'm going to stand out here all night?"

"But what about the repercussions to the 'verse?"

Lennon scoffed, "It's _her_ universe, she can sort it out later. It's not like we'll be doing any permanant damage."

Unable to argue with that logic, and determined to keep Lennon out of trouble as best she could, Charlotte followed the geek into the pub with the inexperienced brunette at her side.

The tavern was awash in activity. There were at least two dozen patrons eating and drinking, as well as barmaids and busboys bustling about-

Barmaids and busboys bustling about...say that five times fast.

And a bard off in the corner strumming a mandolin and singing...badly.

Lennon adjusted her glasses and looked around at the bar's occupants, noting the fact that not all of them were human. Elves, halflings (which were quite a bit like Hobbits, but without the copyright infringement...none intended by the way, Mister-Tolkien's-estate's-lawyer-man) and an Ogre behind the bar filled out the place quite nicely, making it clear that this was a fantasy setting.

"So _this_ is where she's been so busy," Charlotte said as she glanced at the bartender busy filling ale flagons to overflowing, who was rather sketchy looking.

Not sketchy as in suspicious, sketchy as in he didn't have enough defining character qualities to look very polished, like an OC should. He was big, though, and his skin had a greenish cast to it along with-

Oh look, he's coming in clearer now.

The geek put her hands on her hips and groused, "We've been stuck in a half finished chapter for over a month and she's been working on _this_?"

"Well, you know how it is, Lenny," Charlotte said dismissivly, "She's easily distracted."

The redhead glanced at Madison, who had wandered over to a nearby table in the corner which was covered with seven or eight bright yellow legal pads, something that most definitly didn't fit in with this medieval setting

"Apparently, she's not the only one," Lennon commented dryly, watching as the younger woman's curiosity got the better of her and she picked up one of the notepads.

She couldn't possibly ever hope to read it.

"I think it's in code," Madison said, her brows furrowing as she turned the pad around and around, trying to make sense of the almost runic forms on the paper.

Lennon scoffed, "It's not in code...her handwriting just sucks. Gimme that." She snatched the pad from the brunette and flipped through the pages where random doodles and letters overlapped on a regular basis, making it next to impossible to read the writing to be found there.

"Can you read it?"

"Of course I can read it, Madison. I'm fluent in scribble, scrawl _and_ gibberish," Lennon's eyes got wide as she read the seemingly nonsensical words which were made up of that dreadful handwriting.

"It would seem," she said, reading quickly, "That our dear creator has been working on _three_ new universes and a couple of novels."

Charlotte gaped, "You're kidding."

"Nope...three comic books, a how to guide for fan fiction authors and a-" Lennon's eye went wide before she burst out laughing, "A coming of age novella! Oh my God! I never thought she'd stoop so low!"

Thunder crackled in the distance outside the tavern so loudly that it made all three Busters look up in alarm. It shook the entire place, going so far as to make the coat of arms hanging on the wall clatter and fall to the ground.

"I think she can hear you, Lenny," Madison said nervously, her throat making a loud noise as she gulped, staring at the now split in half shield.

Lennon blinked a few times before turning back to the notepad in her hand, skimming the mess, "No...that's part of the script. That was _supposed_ to happen. Any second now one of the secondary characters is going to come down those stairs and-"

True to form, the door at the top of the stairs crashed open, and a rather shady looking fellow in rediculously long flowing black robes stumbled out. His hair was tied in a pony tail that ran down his back and his face could only be described as 'Snidely Whiplash-y'.

"Snidely what?" Madison asked, peeping over Lennon's shoulder to look at the yellow notepad.

"Snidely Whiplash-y. She did a visual aid and everything." Lennon pointed to a little ink pen sketch in the margin, depicting a short little man with a long curly moustache twirled around one of his fingers, whom, to anyone who'd watched the old Dudley Do-Right cartoon, would've seemed very familiar indeed.

Madison and Charlotte glanced back up at the obviously drunken man who was descending the stairs clumsily, tripping over his dramatically flowing robes every step of the way.

"This guy's a minor canon, you say?" Charlotte asked distractedly, watching as the robed man started pointing around the room at different people, offering to buy them drinks in a slurred voice.

"Uh..yeah," Lennon flipped another page, still reading, "Now might be a good time to duck, by the way."

Charlotte reacted as quickly as someone with her years of training was expected to, as a flagon of ale sailed over her head and crashed against a wall behind her.

The redhead straightened up right away, her eyes wide, "That was close."

"Not as close as the next one." Lennon dropped to her knees quickly and her teammates followed suit, all of them _barely_ missing being hit by an empty pickle barrel, which shattered on impact with the tavern wall.

"Rowdy place she's written for herself, isn't it?" Charlotte called over the racket of the barkeep tossing the pickle barrel thrower outside into the night.

"And stay out!" The Ogre bartender shouted at the top of his lungs, wiping his hands on the apron he wore as though touching the rambuncious customer to throw him out was something altogether unwholesome.

"I can't believe this place is _scripted_," Charlotte said, motioning at the legal pad in the geeks hands, "Why the hell don't _we_ get a script?"

"Because she's always been flying by the seat of her pants with us, no definite plan in place...just a vauge idea of where she's going to end up," Lennon said not looking up from her reading, "She likes to jump off cliffs and find things as she falls."

"Can we watch?" Madison asked eagerly, glancing around at the bar patrons curiously from her vantage point crouched on the ground.

"What do you think this is, a broadway show?" Lennon asked, looking up from the script for the first time since she got her hands on it, "We can't just sit around and _watch_."

"Well we can't _go_ anywhere, Lenny," Madison said logically, "Plus we're much safer sitting still off in the shadowy corner of the bar than we are outside where we could get run over by a runaway horse cart or something. Or standing around waiting to get slammed into by a pickle barrel, for heaven's sake!"

"She does make a valid point," Charlotte agreed, glancing over her shoulder at the remains of the shattered barrel, "Besides, it might be interesting to see what it is that she's been up to lately. You know that any universe she single handed creates is bound to be...unique, at the very least."

Lennon was left crouched on the floor gaping while Madison and Charlotte stood and slunk into chairs at the table covered with notes.

"Are you going to stay down there all night, mouth hanging wide like a fish, Lenny?"

Lennon snapped her jaw shut, sprang up from the floor and joined her teammates at the table.

A barmaid approached them and plopped three huge flagons of ale down on the table in front of the Busters.

"Uh, pardon me," Charlotte said evenly, hoping that the barmaid didn't notice the fact that she wasn't dressed in period/genre appropriate clothing, "We didn't order these."

The barmaid didn't give Charlotte a second look and just said, "They're courtesy of that fellow." before waving at the drunken 'Snidely Whiplashy' guy and walking away.

The three women looked at the ale and then at each other before simultaniously and silently pushing the glasses away. If there was one thing they needed while in unfamiliar and hostle surroundings, it was all of their faculties.

Madison stared around the room, brown eyes wide with curiosity as she took in all of the surrounding characters and drank in the atmosphere.

"Hey, Lenny, who are the main canons here? I can't pick them out."

Lennon glanced back down at the pad in her hand, "There's a monk and a sorceress who're about to run afoul of each other any second now. They're the ones who really open the story up."

"What do they look like?" Charlotte asked, interested as she leaned over and grabbed up a legal pad of her own to puruse.

Lennon scanned the room and pointed at a young man with sandy brown hair who was walking towards a table with a dark gypsy looking woman sitting at it. His clothing was comprised of a worn brown robe and his hair was in a most unflattering bowl cut, while she wore a dark navy blue cloak over a dyed burgandy linen dress, her dark hair falling in a mass of unkempt tangles down her back.

"That's them," Lennon stated, "Matthias and Sorda."

The three bunny Busters looked on in interest as the monk stared around himself at the drunken man who had tottered down the stairs a few minutes before, before he managed to trip on an uneven floorboard and knocked into the table that the sorceress was seated at.

"Oh, I _am_ sorry!" Matthias said sheepishly, picking up the platter of bread and cheese that had been disturbed and nervously trying to set the foods out the way they had been moments before.

The dark haired woman waved a hand dismissivly, "Think nothing of it, Matthias."

The Monk glanced up from what he was doing and recognition passed over his face. "Sorda!" He exclaimed in surprise, dropping the pile of bread that he had managed to gather, causing it to fly all over the table.

"Not the most coordinated creature in the seven lands, are you, Matthias?" Sorda said with amusement as she watched the young man fumble with the bread that he's managed to drop once again, "Am I really so startling a sight that you lose all ability to keep from making yourself the biggest fool in the room?"

The monk laughed, "I think that particular place of honor goes to the Necromancer over there." He gestured at the drunken man who was currently offering to buy a barstool a drink.

"Yes...Nim _is_ rather enibriated at the moment," Sorda replied with a sigh.

The monk gaped, "You know him?"

"Sadly...we're traveling together." The woman grew stoic suddenly, "So what brings _you_ to this side of the continent, Matthias? A mission of mercy, no doubt?"

"Not exactly," Matthias gestured at the table as a way of asking if he could take a seat, to which the sorceress nodded in the affirmative, "I've been charged with delivering something very important to the faction of the brotherhood in the east."

"And you're traveling _alone_?"

"I have yet to find any companions whom I trust enough to travel with...present company excluded, naturally." He said with a blush, "And what of you, Sorda? What brings _you_ here?"

"I myself am heading to the east to seek a tome of the arcane that was left behind by my master after his death."

Matthias looked troubled, "Kedrigan has passed? You have my deepest sympathies, Sorda."

"Well, he _was_ three hundred years old...it had to happen sooner or later." She took a drink from her flagon, "Either way, I have to get to the book before it falls into the wrong hands..."

The monk quirked an amused eyebrow, "And I suppose _your_ hands are the right ones?"

"Better than most, Matthias," she answered in all seriousness, "Better than most."

"Oh COME ON!" an irritable shout came from across the room at the bar garnering the attention of not only the canons but the Bunny Busters as well, "One drink!"

An amazon stood with her arms crossed over her chest as she glared down at a man she towered over by at _least_ a foot and a half. He was a beady eyed little guy with crooked teeth and a way about him that reminded you of a nervous animal. His clothing and twitchy manner clearly marked him as a thief.

And the identical looks of recognition on the faces of Matthias and Sorda marked him as a thief they _knew_...

"Oh _no_," Sorda muttered under her breath, "Not Tarranis..._anything_ but Tarranis."

"What does he think he's doing?" Matthias asked with worry as he watched the little man try to accost the large, scantily clad woman at the bar.

Sorda sighed, "Something that will most likely get his lungs handed to him."

"Business as usual, then?"

"For _him_ at least."

The Amazon suddenly grabbed Tarranis by the throat and slammed him up against the nearest wall, "Hands OFF, _thief_."

His dark, beady little eyes lit with mischief, "If this is your way of seducing me, it's really, _really_ working."

**CRASH!**

The warped table between Matthias and Sorda shattered when Tarranis landed on it _hard_.

Matthias jumped back, but Sorda, who seemed to expect this type of thing, merely looked down at the little man with distaste.

Tarranis groaned, "Ouch."

"Serves you right for hitting on an _Amazon_," Matthias said reproachfully.

The attitude of the man in the midst of shattered table changed in an instant and he grinned up at Matthias, "It was worth it...I got her coin purse."

Matthias looked after the Amazon who was storming out of the tavern angrily, clearly puzzled, "Where on earth was she _keeping_ it?"

"I'll tell you when you're older," Tarranis said suggestively as he wriggled his eyebrows and scrambled up off the floor without any grace whatsoever.

It was then when Tarranis took notice of the other person who had been seated at the table he had crashed through, "Ah! Sorceress!" He bowed to her with a flourish, "It's been a long time!"

"Not nearly long _enough_, Thief," was her unimpressed reply, "I could have easily gone my whole life without setting eyes on you again."

He looked at her as though he were a wounded puppy, "I'm starting to think you don't like me, Sorceress."

Unconcerned, she took a long drink from her flagon of ale, "Why, Thief, whatever gave you that impression?"

"That time you tried to knife me in the back was a pretty good indicator," he answered cheekily.

She leveled her eyes at him, "I did **not** try to knife you in the back."

"Well, that's a-"

"I was aiming for your throat."

"Oh."

Charlotte had to clap a hand over Lennon's mouth to keep her from guffawing at the look of deflated ego that crossed the face of the thief.

Of course, Madison was having an equally hard time stifling her giggles...

Thankfully, they were both cut short by a loud and rather relieved, "Oh thank God! There you are!" that came from above them, "I thought I lost you for sure!"

None of the other tavern occupants noticed the voice, as it was meant only for the ears of the three wayward Bunny Busters, but they knew what it meant...

"We've gotta leave?" Madison asked the phantom voice of the author, almost sounding disappointed.

"Such is life," the voice replied as a hole conjured itself into being to their left, "Now if you girls would be so kind as to saunter back into your _own_ universe?"

Lennon grumbled as she chanced a swig of her ale and started for the hole in the wall, "And just as it was getting good, too."

-------------------

A/N: That's right. I was cleaning out my hard drive, giving into my obsessive compulsive organizational impulses, and moved a bunch of folders around...I accidentally misplaced my fic folder, and spent about a week and a half freaking out searching for it. That folder has _everything_ in it and I finally found it tucked away in my comic scripts folder (which somehow ended up in my music folder, which was in my photographs folder which was hidden away underneath a D&D Dungeon Master's guide folder...go figure).

Back to the 'normal' universes...next chapter...


	21. The Big Bad

"A fine position she's put me in," Lennon said angrily as she dodged behind a crypt and started looking around for anything that might be remotely useful in this situation.

"'Oh no, I won't sent you to anymore clown universes. Nuh uh. Nope, nope, nope'."

The beast roared and launched itself at the geek, who was continuing her panicked monologue, "I'll just send you to a universe that has vampires and witches and _werewolves_."

A voice came from the headset that Lennon had recently equipped herself, _"Lenny! Where are you?"_

"Somewhere I shouldn't be!" A piece of a tombstone came hurtling towards her head and shattered against the crypt behind her as she dodged out of the way and around the vault, "Shoulda stayed in _horror_. At least _there_ I knew what to expect!"

"_How're you doing, Len?"_

"I've certainly seen better days--AAAAAAAAAH!"

Lennon hit the ground as the werewolf that was currently pursuing her tackled her around the middle and knocked her down.

Flailing wildly, she balled up her fists and struck at the monster, doing…

Absolutely no damage whatsoever.

Oh _damn_.

"Charlie! Where are you when I need you? ACK!"

Giant paws pinned her to the ground and she thrashed under the werewolf, her hands finding purchase in the soil and yanking up grass by it's roots with the zeal of her desperate movements.

Lennon screeched as the animal's muzzle came _way_ too close to her throat, dripping saliva on her face and snarling, "Why is it _I_ always get attacked by the beasties?"

A flash of black leather bashed into the giant fur ball, pulling it away from the geek and felling the beast with a silver ax.

Lennon had just enough time to start spitting out dirt and debris (another thing that kept happening to her…_why_?) before her knight in shining armor spun on his heel to check on her.

White blonde hair, chiseled features, flashing blue eyes and a body built for…

Well, let's not go there right now. That's a bad place to go.

Bad brain. Bad! Bad! SHAME!

Wait, where were we?

Oh right. A body built for f--

Lennon coughed loudly, reminding the author of her own self imposed fic rating and forcing her to adhere to her own silly little language rules.

Let's rewind.

White blonde hair, chiseled features, flashing blue eyes, black leather duster and a body built for _fighting_.

Yeah, that works.

"Buffy! Are you--" The bleached blonde man stopped short and looked at Lennon with distaste, "You're not…well, _that_ was a bloody big load of effort for nothing."

"Well I was gonna say 'My hero' but if you're going to have an _attitude_ about it…" Lennon snapped as she checked her ribs for fractures and found that something in her chest made a rather unhealthy cracking noise when she pressed on it.

That couldn't have been good.

He sneered at her when she winced, "What's a thing like you doing running around in the cemetery after midnight?"

"Oh what're you, my father?" Lennon struggled to her feet and glared at him, "I happen to be _working_. Not that it's any of your _business_ or anything."

"If you define working as 'being eaten by a werewolf', then you were doin' a bang up job of it, pet." He reached inside his duster, pulled out a lighter and lit his cigarette all in one fluid movement, "Since you're not _surprised_ by what you just witnessed, I take it you're a wannabe slayer?"

The geek brushed her knees off, "I beg your pardon?"

He pointed at her with the fingers that held his cigarette, "Take it from somebody who knows, you should give up _now_. You might as well have a sign hung around your neck that says 'eat me'."

"Oh bite me, peroxide boy."

"That'd be a phrase I'd be careful about throwin' about around these parts if I were you," he replied, "And the _name_ is _Spike_."

Lennon couldn't contain a derisive snort, "Oh now _that's_ original. Wow. I **am** impressed. All black wardrobe and you're named _Spike_…uh huh, uh huh…and let me guess, you're a vampire _and_ you've got a motorcycle too, right?"

"A Desoto."

"Damn," The geek snapped her fingers, "Well, one out of two ain't bad."

"Friendly piece of advice, poppet, stay out of graveyards if you want to stay alive in Sunnydale."

"Thanks…I'll file _that_ away."

He glared at her, "Cheeky thing, aren't you?"

"Look who's talking, Mister Walking Vampire Cliché With Too Much Hair Gel."

He narrowed his eyes at her a fraction of an inch, "Who _are_ you?"

"My _friends_ call me Lenny. You can call me a soon to be distant memory."

Spike scoffed, "Lenny…what kind of name is Lenny?"

"The same kind of name that Spike is."

"Touché."

Lennon gave him a lazy salute that was more disdain than respect, "Thanks for the help, hero."

"Yeah…don't mention it." He dropped his cigarette, smushed it beneath one Doc Martin before he turned to leave in a flurry of slick leather, "_Ever_."

Charlotte and Madison, huffing and puffing, came around the crypt that Lennon had found herself trapped by mere minutes earlier.

"We lost radio contact when we ran into this…green…thing. Big. Slimy. Ugly. _You_ probably would have liked him."

"You alright, Lenny?" Charlotte asked from around several small gasping breaths as she composed herself.

The geek waved her hand dismissively, "Bruised, battered and I think I cracked a rib…have to hit the infirmary the second we get back to HQ, but I'm _pretty_ sure I'll live."

"Who was that?" Madison asked, nodding her head in the direction of the black clad figure stomping away.

"Canon. Saved me from…that," Lennon gestured at the dead Werewolf.

The brunette stared after Spike incredulously before she rounded on her superior, "How come _you_ always get saved by the **gorgeous** canons?"

Lennon quirked an eyebrow at the younger woman, "The same reason I get attacked by all the beasties?"

Madison crossed her arms over her chest, "I am _so_ renegotiating my contract ASAP."

-

A/N: Yup. Buffyverse. It _had_ to be done. And not just because I recently relived my 'Oh my God, Spike is sex in a straight jacket!' phase. I can conceivably see the girls spending a month in the Buffyverse as screwed up as it is in fanfic...but..I didn't have the strength to write _that_ much.

By all means...if some Buffy fan wants to stick my girls in the 'verse for an extended period and write for them, go 'head.

Up next! What kind of universe would require the Busters to wear a uniform..._again_? Any guesses?

(Yeah, nobody's gonna get it...I know you're not)


	22. Frock Coats Are The Sex

"This skirt is too short," Lennon grumbled, yanking at the offending piece of fabric impatiently, "God, honestly...as if the Trek uniform and the pink plaid weren't bad enough...now a _school girl_ uniform."

"Quit whining, Lenny…we don't need to draw any more attention to ourselves than _absolutely_ necessary," Charlotte admonished, while discreetly pulling her own skirt tighter about her knees, "It's bad enough that our ages and accents could give away the fact we don't belong here."

"Why _are_ we here, anyways?" Lennon hissed, "Last I checked, Harry Potter was supposed to be a _children's_ fandom."

Madison, who had remained rather quiet since their entrance into the fandom, had the answer to _this_ question,"I remember a couple of weeks back there was a bulletin posted in the agency newsletter…the HP fandom has expanded so much and so _fast_ **and** with a fan base of all ages, it's now being classified as straight fantasy and not children's literature."

"I don't see what's so great about it," Lennon remarked offhandedly, "I mean...yeah, I get the whole fantasy thing appealing to the general population, but from what I've heard, the largest fan fiction writing fan base for this place are all middle aged women who write _smut_. What appeal could this universe _possibly_ hold for someone who writes that kind of thing?"

**BANG!**

The door to the potion's classroom, where the three women were now conferring quietly in a corner, slammed open and a man in black, swirling robes swept in confidently.

Professor Severus Snape.

He demanded the attention of the assembled students, black eyes glittering with menace and distaste as he verbally flayed anyone who _dared_ speak out of turn. He strode about the dungeon classroom as though he owned the entire castle and all who inhabited, and just _oozed_ power.

The three Bunny Busters were as helpless to defy him as the canons who surrounded them. Transfixed, they followed his instructions to the letter, trying not to screw anything up and draw the hawk-like gaze of the black clad professor.

Last thing they needed was--

CRASH!

Snape rounded on the pupil who had caused the disturbance, his robe aswirl, "Careless dunderheaded girl! You could have blown your stupid self to pieces! Detention this evening!"

As I was saying…the last thing they needed was for Lennon to drop a vial of volatile potions ingredients…

But since she _did_...

"Nice going," Madison hissed derisively, her first chance to get a good dig on the elder woman, "Now we've gotta stick around all night!"

"I was distracted!" Lennon defended, as she carefully cleaned up the shattered vial and the herbs that it had contained.

Charlotte was watching Professor Snape as he ridiculed a boy across the room viciously, "Yeah…On the plus side of things though, at least I think we found why this fandom has such…" she tipped her head to one side and continued observing the professor.

"Charlotte?"

The Bunny Buster commander shook herself and looked at the young brunette who was staring at her curiously, "Wha? Oh…right...ahem. I think we've found the source of this place's appeal for the middle aged fic authoress. Snape's just begging for a good woman to prove to be his ultimate redemption. The absolute picture of the Byronic Hero."

"He doesn't look very heroic to me…" Madison said quietly, scrutinizing Snape with singular purpose, "Rather the opposite, I think."

The two elder Busters shared a glance before Lennon spoke, "Are you buying her the complete works of Lord Byron for her next birthday, or am I?"

-

A/N: Faked you out a bit with the uniform thing, didn't I? Ha! I am the queen of misdirection! Ah...I've had this idea for the girls in potions class since I first started this thing..only _just_ got around to it.

On a practical note, it's true: There is an _alarming_ amount of Snape-Centric obsession in fandom. He's got as much--if not _more_--fanfic devoted to him as The-Boy-Who-Lived does.

And no, I will not tell you how I know this, nor will I confirm the fact I _myself_ am one of those counted amongst the Snape obsessed.

Snape _is_ the picture of the Byronic Hero archetype though...and if you don't know what I'm talking about...oh for crying out loud. This is the internet. Look it up. Expand your horizons dammit! Learn! Go forth young Jedi! Seek the boundless knowledge available on wikipedia!

And speaking of Jedi...


	23. Met Him In A Swamp Down In Dagoba

"Not of this world, you are," the small green Jedi master muttered suspiciously in a voice that sounded rather like Kermit the Frog with a head cold.

"Speaking backwards, annoying it is," Lennon countered sarcastically, garnering a swift kick to the shin from her commanding officer.

"We're not of Dagoba, Master Yoda, no, in that you are correct," Charlotte answered diplomatically, glaring at Lennon all the while. Her glare was returned with equal ferocity as Lennon rubbed her shin where a bruise was sure to be forming.

The little wrinkled man looked at the three Bunny Busters appraisingly, "You seek me out, hm? For training you come?"

"Yes, sir, we do," Madison said in a very respectful tone, hoping to get into Yoda's good graces by showing the amount of esteem due a Jedi master of his advanced years and experience.

"Train you I cannot," Yoda answered dismissively.

Lennon straightened up, the pain in her shin forgotten, only to be replaced by indignation, "What? Why?"

"Warriors you are but Jedi you are _not_. No assistance can I render. Return to your homes you must."

"Look here you lime colored prune," Lennon said angrily, "We spent the last three days waddling through this God forsaken swamp trying to find you and you are _not_ turning your humpback on _me_ after all the work we did to _get_ here."

"Three days only?" Yoda asked quizzically.

"Only? _Only_?" Lennon exclaimed in disbelief, "What, that's not long enough a trial for you? Huh? So help me, I'm gonna drop kick you across this--YEEEE!"

Lennon was yanked uncerimoniously off the ground by an invisible force that got hold of one of her ankles and refused to let go. She swore, she swung her cleched fists, she kicked her free leg, but still she hung upside down out of reach of the little Jedi Master.

Yoda was rubbing his forehead with one hand while the other he held aloft, keeping the geek suspended in mid-air, "Too much she talks."

"Sometimes," Charlotte and Madison agreed in unison as Lennon swung back and forth in the air like a clock pendulem, glasses askew and saying a great many things that she probably shouldn't have.

"Put! Me! DOWN!" Lennon screeched, "When I get down from here you're gonna wish you'd stayed in Henson's workshop, you lump of worthless muppet parts!"

"And yet still my assistance she seeks. As do you." Yoda paid Lennon no heed as he turned to look at her two companions.

"Our mission is of the utmost importance, Master Yoda," Charlotte answered, "In order to complete it, we're going to need your help."

Lennon, still swinging in the air, crossed her arms over her chest with some difficulty. "Forget it, Charlie. We don't need _his_ help. We can get what we need just as easily from the Emporor if we have to."

"Lenny!" Madison pointed a finger at the geek reproachfully. "We are **not** going to the dark side for this! We're the _good_ guys, remember?"

"Does it matter? This might just be a case of the ends justifying the mea--YAAAAAA!"

Lennon sank head first into the swamp sludge as Yoda released his mental hold on her. She came up coughing and sputtering, her glasses sucked down into the mud and her hair plastered to her head.

"What was THAT for?"

Yoda leveled his eyes at the muddy faced Lennon. "Determined you are to receive training from a Jedi, regardless of their allegence?"

"Hey man, we came to you _first_. We need _someone_ with power over the force in this endeavor, light or dark side doesn't matter...and if _you_ won't help us--"

Yoda suddenly looked like a puzzle he'd been contemplating for an extended period of time had been solved, "The recent disruption in the force...you know it's cause, yes?"

"We're here to stop it," Madison answered, cutting off Lennon before she had the opportunity to stick her toes down her throat any further.

Both Charlotte and Lennon stared at Madison as she got down on her knees so that she could look at the Jedi Master face to face.

"Ever since I was a kid you--well, I've known about you, sir, I can't say how without putting you in danger--but I've always held you in the highest regard. I'm asking, not only for the benefit of my friends and I, but for you and your world as well: Will you help us? _Please_?"

Yoda made a little thoughtful noise deep in his throat and hobbled towards Madison to touch a wrinkled finger to her brow. She didn't flinch or blink, just kept her eyes locked with Yoda's in a show of her strength of will.

The creases in his face momentarily spread into a fond smile, "First thing in the morning, your training will commence, hm?"

"Really?" Madison asked in awe.

"Of _this_ world--or this _universe_--you may not be, but of the Jedi you _are_." Yoda nodded once and started to wobble towards his home, beckoning them to follow him.

Madison got up off her knees, positively _glowing_. Charlotte smiled back at her before shooting Lennon a disapproving glance.

"What?" The geek started sifting through the mud for her glasses. "How was I supposed to know that asking _nicely_ would work? Hey! Don't leave me behind! Wait up!"


	24. Go Ask Alice

Madison stared at the large toadstool in front of her, "One side makes you smaller, one side makes you taller…which is which?"

"Who _cares_?" Lennon snapped, "I want to know why we're _here_! This is the second children's fandom we've gotten stuck in!"

"Alice In Wonderland is _far_ from being a children's fandom," Charlotte chided, leaning down to pat a momrath on what she thought was it's head.

"And how do you figure that?" Lennon asked, shaking her head against the shadow of a cat that was trying to take form in mid-air.

"Caterpillars with hookah pipes, 'magic' hallucinogenic mushrooms, a mad hatter whose madness is _clearly_ brought on by mercury poisoning. I mean come _on_…read between the lines. To a child this is a fanciful story…to an adult, there's much more to it than that."

"I thought we covered that I was never one for classic literature, Charlotte," Lennon rubbed her eyes but the grinning cat _continued_ to come into focus.

"That's no excuse for ignorance…you've seen the _movie_, haven't you?"

The grinning face of the Cheshire Cat appeared in front of Lennon in full living color and she blinked, taking a step back.

"Well sure I have, but I…I never…stop staring at me like that!"

Charlotte and Madison both turned to see what Lennon had shouted at, only to find that there was nothing there.

"Lenny, you ok?" Madison asked in concern.

"I'm _fine_…there was a…cat…stripy. Big grin. He was _staring_ at me." Lennon visibly shuddered. "It was creepy."

Charlotte snorted but hid it with a cough.

Granted, not very effectively, but at least she _tried_.

"Excuse me," a small voice from somewhere behind the three women piped up, causing them to turn.

The little blonde English girl who stood before them had her hands folded demurely on her pinafore and Lennon, Charlotte and Madison all glanced at each other.

"Could you tell me which way to the garden?"

All three Bunny Busters pointed in different directions.

They glared at each other in annoyance.

"Trust me, kid, no matter which way you go, you'll get there eventually," Lennon said impatiently, "Now if you'll excuse us, we were in the middle of something."

"Lennon!" Charlotte said in a scolding tone before turning her attention back to the small girl to speak softly in the most maternal voice she could manage, "If you go up the path _that_ way, you'll find the way to the rose garden that you're looking for."

"Thank you very much," Alice replied with a dainty curtsey before she started skipping off down the path that Charlotte had pointed out.

"Be careful of the queen of hearts!" Charlotte called after her warningly, "She's rather fond of separating little girl's heads from their shoulders."

Madison grabbed her throat instinctively, "I forgot how _violent _some 'children's' fandoms could be!"

Charlotte scoffed, "Be glad we aren't in Peter Pan."

-

A/N I've always found Alice In Wonderland to be deeply disturbing...in a fun 'If Stephen King wrote a children's book, it might look like this' kind of way.

Seriously...is it any wonder that American McGee's Alice is full of such nightmarish imagery? The book is fraught with scary things...

Oomp...there goes an idea.

-beats it down with a stick- No! No video game 'verses! Bad idea! Back in your cage! -whack whack whack-


	25. Codfish!

Madison's eyes drooped and she fought to keep the vomit down that was trying to force it's way up her esophagus, "You just _had_ to mention Peter Pan, didn't you?"

Charlotte yanked at the ropes that bound her to the mast of Captain Hook's ship, "How was I supposed to know she'd actually _send_ us here?"

Madison made a weak unhappy noise, "I _hate_ boats."

"We established that already," Charlotte answered edgily, "Have those ropes got any give on _your_ side, Madge?"

"You mean the ones that are keeping me upright?" She snapped irritably, "No, they don't have any slack at _all_."

"Great…so we have to depend on Lenny to save us."

"So which one of us is walking the plank first?" Madison asked, clearly ill-tempered.

"Hush, Madison…we'll be out of this soon enough."

"Not before one of us drowns," the brunette answered morosely.

"Your faith in me never ceases to amaze me," a grungy 'cabin boy' said in a gravelly voice as 'he' approached the mast and whipped out a pocket sized dagger with teeth marks on it.

"Lenny?" Charlotte squinted through the sea spray to see their savior better.

'He' was wearing a pair of baggy, ragged brown pants with an equally baggy horizontally striped blue and white shirt, an eye patch, a bandana secured on 'his' head and a gold earring completing the stereotypical pirate outfit.

"Well it ain't Uncle Milty," the typically sardonic reply came as the geek in disguise started working at one of the ropes that held her commanding officer in place, "Hold still, my depth perception is all shot to hell with this eye patch on."

Charlotte sucked air through her teeth sharply when Lennon accidentally jabbed her with the point of the dagger, "Be careful!"

"I told you I couldn't see properly with this patch on!" Lennon replied, her voice rising in pitch ever so slightly.

She quickly covered her blunder by launching into a merry sea shanty, walking around the mast and strategically cutting a rope here and there until the two captives had enough room to wriggle free.

The moment the ropes dropped and hit the deck, several things happened all at once.

First of all, the first mate's whistle sounded loudly and he started calling men to their positions.

Secondly, two dozen pirates started coming up from the bowels of the ship in one huge mass of sweaty bodies, cursing and swearing in a frenzy.

Thirdly, the door to the Captain's cabin burst open and Captain Hook in all his pretentious glory stepped out on deck.

Finally, several voices from somewhere high, _high_ above started taunting Hook with a steady chant of 'Codfish! CODFISH!'

Lennon smacked her hand over her face regretfully, "The climactic battle and we're going to get stuck in the middle of it. Fantastic. Could this get any better?"

It was at this point in time that Madison finally lost her continuing battle with seasickness and threw up all over the deck.

Lennon glanced heavenward, "Had to ask, didn't I?"


	26. An Error Of Quantum Proportions

Charlotte Walker awoke to find herself in a completely empty, sterile white room. The lighting was next to blinding, with a slight bluish tinge to it and she suddenly found a hysterical giggle escaping her throat against her will as realization dawned.

"Oh no...oh God, _no_."

---

"Charlie?" A woman with unkempt black hair waved her hand in front of Doctor Sam Beckett's face, "Yo, Earth to Charlotte!"

"Huh?" He replied, catching a glimpse of himself in a nearby mirror to find that he'd leapt into a tall athletic redhead in military gear.

"Charlie...you still with us?"

That was a brunette to his left.

"Yeah...yeah I'm fine. Just got a little--" Sam struggled to piece together what had just happened based on what he was seeing.

"Oh my GOD!" The black haired woman screeched before she started laughing maniacally, "Oh man! Madison! This is him! He leaped into Charlotte!"

The brunette (Madison, Sam presumed) poked him in the arm with one finger experimentally, "No way...really? That's Sam Beckett inside there? Are you sure? I don't see any difference."

Madison continued poking at Sam and he batted her hand away, "Knock it off!"

The nameless raven haired geek was trying to recover from her laughing fit, "Absolutely! If that was Charlie, she'd have handed you your arm by now! Oh wait'll they get a load of this at HQ...a canon leaping into a Buster...this is going to go down in history!"

"Oh boy," Sam muttered, wondering how exactly these women seemed to know about the Quantum Leap project.

"HA!" The black haired woman pointed at him triumphantly. "You see? Trademark phrase! That's _definitely_ Sam Beckett in there! Oh buddy have we got questions for _you_!"

"The feeling is mutual," Sam managed weakly.

"This is _weird_, Lennon," Madison said with a giggle. "Knowing that's a guy in there but he looks and sounds like Charlotte."

SHHHHLUCK.

The holographic projection of Al stepped through the door of light that had appeared out of nowhere, "Sam, you are _never_ going to believe--"

He stopped in mid-sentence and gaped at the two women who were poking at Sam mercilessly.

"When do you think his hologram'll show up?" The black haired one asked conversationally, still poking at Sam, "I always liked him…"

"Charlie'll probably bum a cigar off him," the brunette answered, "He might be here already and we just don't know it."

"How about it, Doc? Al anywhere abouts?" The black haired one asked again, peering around curiously.

Sam stared at the holographic projection in front of him.

"Don't look at _me_," Al replied, putting his hands up in a gesture of helplessness, "If things are weird back in the waiting room, I should've figured they'd be weird here _too_."

The two women glanced at each other, taking Sam's silence as an answer in the affirmative.

"Where is he?" The brunette looked in the direction that Sam was and the glasses wearer did the same.

"Hey! Al! Dude, big fan!" The black haired one said to the empty space in front of her.

The brunette kicked her companion in the shin, eliciting a loud yelp.

"Lenny! Regulations!"

"This universe is _nuts_," 'Lenny' replied, rubbing her leg and scowling, "Doesn't much matter at this point if we break a couple of regs, right? I mean…he leapt into our _commanding officer_…avoiding contact and being as unobtrusive as possible kinda flew out the window when he did _that_."

The brunette looked thoughtful for a moment before acquiescing, "Yeah…guess you're right about that." She turned to look at Sam. "I guess the biggest question now is how we get Charlie _back_."

Al watched, trying to hide his amusement as the one he'd heard referred to as Lenny poked Sam in the arm persistently "How 'bout it? What's Al got to say?"

"Who's this _Al_ guy you two keep talking about?" Sam asked innocently.

Lennon rolled her eyes dramatically, "Oh come _on_. Don't play dumb. Al, Gushi…Ziggy? Quantum Leap Project? C'mon Swiss cheese for brains, we want our friend back…and I'm sure you want to get back to your regularly scheduled do-gooding."

Madison stopped poking Sam momentarily as the proverbial light bulb flicked on over her head, "Lenny? Did you ever work the Thirteen Ghosts universe?"

Lennon stared at Madison oddly, "Yeah…for about--DUDE! The--oh, doi! Madison, you're a certifiable _genius_!"

Lennon dropped her bag and started shuffling around inside before pulling out a set of strange looking goggle/glasses. She snapped them in half, effectively making two monocles and handed one to her teammate. "I don't know if they'll work on holograms the way they work on ghosts, though."

"Worth a shot, right?"

Both women put the pieces of broken goggles to their eyes and leapt back from where Al was standing.

"Holy cow."

"Whoa…loud ensemble, man," Lennon said of Al's silver and aqua suit, "You could see that thing from outer space."

"Uh…Sam?"

Sam looked just as puzzled as Al did.

"What's he saying?" Madison asked, seeing that Al's lips were moving.

"That you two have a lot of explaining to do," A voice from behind the two Busters said angrily, "And I'm inclined to agree."

Sam, Lennon and Madison all turned to find a man that the two women recognized as a member of the Fandom Discretionary Disciplinary Committee.

"Oh…we're in trouble."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Madison."


	27. Trials And Misdemeanors

The hearing room was small and claustrophobic--nowhere near the courtrooms that Charlotte had been accustomed to in her years throughout the cop 'verses--and as an added bonus, it had been freshly painted.

And the fumes had yet to dissipate.

Lennon's eyes were slightly unfocused as a result. If Charlotte could see it, the rest of the room must have as well.

Of course, she didn't feel particularly heavel leded--

I mean...level headed...right.

Of course, she didn't feel particularly level headed herself, but that was only to be expected. After the representative of the Fandom Discretionary Disciplinary Committee had uncerimoniously yanked she and her teammates out of the Quantum Leap fandom, she was left with the risidual effects of the leap itself.

If that daft agent had known what he was on about, that wouldn't have beena problem...but he was fresh out of the academy and--in Charlotte's opinion--dumber than a sack of hammers.

He'd have to be to let Under Secretary To The Commisioner Roland Molinaro pull a stunt like this.

"Hear ye, hear ye, the disciplinary hearing of agents Walker, Fisk and Nelson is now in session, the honorable Roland Molinaro presiding."

"Honorable my _ass_." Charlotte heard Lennon mutter angrily.

Charlotte wasn't the only one who heard her because the little self important man who'd just strode into the room in a judge's robe that was far too big for him cast a disapproving glance in her direction.

Lennon replied to the disapproving glance with her tongue sticking out.

Not the mots mature way of doing thing, but it got her point across.

Molinaro stepped up behind the little desk that was meant to be his judge's bench and parked himself quite comfortably.

"Ladies, we're gathered here today to examine the charges of intrusive fandom behavior on your parts throughout your last eight months as a team." Molinaro scowled in a way that he hoped was intimidating.

He came off as being more constipated than intimidating...but that didn't stop him from _trying._

"The last eight months, since you initial introduction to each other, your reports have become pseunanomous with disaster after disater, both in and out of the fandoms. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

BANG.

"Lloyd Kaufman for the defense, your honor! Don't touch that gavel sir, I'll just take a moment of your time." A short little man with gray hair and an overlarge nose in a disgustingly cheap suit entered the little 'court room' with a shiny patent leather briefcase in one hand. "It's come to my attention that you've brought charges up against these three young women and I'm here to cut those charges down to size. I'll give you the chance to make a deal while you can, sir. No? Too bad."

Kaufman hadn't even paused to take a breath yet, much less give Molinaro time to reply in any way other than with a gaping jaw and buggy eyes.

"According to the charges you've brought against my clients, your unfounded accusations of fandom interference are gross overstatements of the facts. I have here--"

Click, click.

The briefcase was opened and Kaufman was handing a sheaf of paperwork to the bailiff.

"Affidavits signed by all the members of the fandoms in which your 'crimes' were commited. Each of the acts described in your charges were both neccessary _and_ unavoidable, therefore you cannot, under the rules of article one, sub section B, paragraph 2 of the Fandom Interference Code Book, bring criminal charges against these three women."

Now Kaufman took a deep breath.

"According to the prescribed laws involved, you are to conduct a _thorough_ investigation--which you did not, sir, I _checked_--and therefore, not only are your charges null and void, but you will also be investigated by the internal affairs department for this witch hunt and mockery of the law."

Kaufman took three steps forward, right up in Molinaro's face, and snapped up the gavel in the sputtering man's hand, slamming it down.

"Charges gone, records exsponged, case dismissed--" Kaufman shoved a blue piece of paper at Molinaro, "And here's your notice of your upcoming trial for wrongful prosecution of my clients."

"You can't--you--YOU CAN'T!"

"I can, and I did." Kaufman slammed the gavel down once more, whether for good measure or because he liked the way it sounded no one knows. " Good day, sir. It's been a pleasure raising your blood pressure."

And with that, Kaufman was gone just as quickly as he'd come.

Molinaro was _fuming_ as he looked over the legal notice in his hand.

It was all legitimate...every last scrap...every t crossed and every i dotted.

Molinaro spluttered and pointed in the direction of the Bunny Busters on trial. "You...you three! You're on fandom leave together until this is sorted out! You'll pay for this!"

And then the little man stormed out.

But not before he tripped over his own robe.

Even the bailiff had some trouble keeping a straight face as Molinaro stomped out like a two year old in the middle of a tantrum.

Lennon laughed outright once he was out of earshot and it didn't take long for her comrades to join her.

"Hey..." Madison said suddenly, sobering because the plot called for it, "He said we're on fandom leave together, didn't he?"

Charlotte's eyes lit up. "Yeah..he _did_."

"On record too," Lennon added, glancing at the stenogropher.

Madison grinned. "So, where're we spending our first vacation?"


	28. Men With Dinner Utensils

Insert Busters fantasy vacation in the X-Files universe here.

_**Now, through the magic of fic timelapse, we skip ahead three months and several universes...**_

"My God, he's _fantastic,"_ The redheaded Busters commander watched the movements of the man in a green turban who was currently flinging little silver projectiles in fascination. His movements were precise, accurate and absolutely deadly.

But graceful in a way she couldn't quite put her finger on.

This wasn't lust in any way; this was sheer professional admiration. One fighter to another.

"Look at him! Just _look!_ He's _magnificent_!"

Lennon snatched the binoculars out of Charlotte's hand and chided her, "Spoons, Charlotte, he throws _spoons_. And what kind of lamebrain calls himself 'The Blue Rajah' but dresses in _green_?"

Charlotte glared at the geek fiercely, "He doesn't throw...well, ok, so he does throw dining utensils, but that's the point! I thought you'd _get_ this universe! It seems right up your alley!"

"Why, 'cause it's offbeat and _quirky_?" Lennon asked irritably, "I don't like Mystery Men. Never have, never _will_. Honestly...The _Spleen_? God, deliver us from bad running gags."

"I think The Digger is cool," Madison said quickly, trying to diffuse the heated situation that was trying to develop between her two superiors.

"Shoveler, Madge, The _Shoveler_," Lennon corrected with distaste.

"I thought you didn't like this universe?" Charlotte asked with a smarmy cock of her head.

"I _don't_!" Lennon repeated more vehemently than she had before.

At the disbelieving look her teammates gave her, Lennon shouted, "I DON'T!"'

It proved to be a tactical error on her part, because her shout was overheard by the canons who were currently running their paces and practicing their given powers in the junk yard before the Busters.

It didn't take long for a flaming bowling ball--correction, a flaming glass bowling ball with a _skull_ trapped inside it--to come flying out of nowhere to peer over the hunk of used car parts that the Busters had been using as camoflaouge.

Madison glared at Lennon. "Oh...great. Just great. See what you did, Lenny? You've alerted the evil bowling ball. Way to go."

If the skull could have joined in Madison's glaring, it probably would have at that point...though it's attention was trained on the young brunette, not the raven haired geek.

"Don't call a supernatural tool of vengeance 'evil' Madge," Charlotte said nervously, "Especially if you know for a fact it's one of the _good_ guys."

The bowling ball spun in midair to not-quite-glare at Charlotte.

"I don't think it likes being called 'It', Charlie."

When the bowling ball struck suddenly, landing a blow squarely to Lennon's gut, she hit the ground, landing awkwardly on a piece of tin that could have conceivably sliced her to ribbons.

"This is why I _hate_ the indy universes, Charlotte," Lennon coughed, struggling with the bowling ball, trying to pry it off herself, "Nothing follows any kind of pattern...no logic involved...just--"

TWANG.

"ACK!"

A fork lodged itself in the ground, mere milimeters from Lennon's left ear and both she and her teammates stared at the group of men (and one woman) who'd managed to sneak up on them.

They were a motley crew, to say the _very_ least.

And they all looked murderous that their training had been interupted.

"So much for non-interference."

-

A/N: Mystery Men.

If you haven't seen it and you don't go rent it right now, I'm going to disown you. Disown!


	29. Busted Again

**"Another!"** Lennon screeched angrily, slamming her book shut on the mess hall table. "Another damn shared vacation! I can't take it anymore!"

"Calm down, Lenny," Charlotte said soothingly, sipping her coffee. "This one will be over just as fast as the last one."

"Not fast enough for me," Lennon grumbled before she shook her finger at her commanding officer. "Mark my words, Charlie, Molinaro is out to get us!"

Madison let out a very unladylike snort, one that should have rivaled one of Lennon's own. "Well, we _are_ rather ripe targets, you know."

The geek crossed her arms over her chest and slumped in her chair, looking like someone who'd just taken a bite out of an apple only to find half a worm. "I don't _care_. It's wrongful prosecution! We didn't even do anything _wrong_ this time!"

"That didn't stop him _last_ time," Charlotte answered. "Besides, are vacations all _that_ bad, Len?"

Lennon glared but there was no real heat behind it. "Yes! I want nothing more than to be in the fandoms, doing my job, making the world a safer place--"

"Blowing stuff up," Madison interjected.

The paperback that Lennon had been skimming smacked the brunette in the face without doing any damage before landing on the table with a "Whap!" noise.

"Yes, alright, so I like blowing things up...so sue me. Fire's fun, explosives are funner."

"Funner?" Charlotte asked with a quirk of her upper lip.

"Oh shut up, Charlotte." Lennon shifted in her seat again. "I'm just _bored_!"

Charlotte sipped her coffee again. "We _are_ on Fandom Vacation, you realize...we could always go drop in on some of our fictional friends to break up the monotony."

"And risk getting suspended _again_?" The glasses wearer said in disbelief. "You're supposed to be the responsible one here. You're supposed to put the kibosh on _my_ ideas for breaking the rules, not the other way around!"

"You _were_ going to suggest it, weren't you Lenny?" Charlotte's green eyes sparkled and she grinned as Lennon's eyelids lowered with annoyance.

"Well, yeah, I was thinkin' about it."

"Then what's the problem?"

"You stole my idea," Lennon replied sourly.

Madison watched this exchange with a great deal of interest as she ate her lunch, grinning at the sisterly way the two elder Busters were arguing.

And to think less than a year ago they were barely on speaking terms, much less on bickering terms...

"How about we hit the XF 'verse?" Madison asked innocently, causing both Lennon and Charlotte to turn and stare at her.

"Look what you've done, Charlotte, you've corrupted the youngling."

"Moi?" Charlotte feigned injured pride rather well. "You corrupted me first, Fisk...if anything, she's the product of your bad influence on _me_ being passed on to her."

Lennon smirked. "I can live with that."

Madison grinned fondly. "So, X-Files it is?"

Lennon's brow creased. "Do you think the guys will mind us dropping in on them again so _soon_?"

Charlotte's eyes lit up with mischief that should have graced the face of Loki himself. "I doubt Langly will complain...what was it he called you last time we popped by? His elfin queen?"

If Lennon still had the paperback in hand, she would have chucked it at Charlotte's head.


	30. Love And, Wait A Minute, Marriage?

_Three and a half weeks later..._

Madison and Charlotte sat across from each other in the mess hall in companionable silence as they ate their lunches.

Charlotte was reading the APBA newsletter, which included major and minor canon change notices (obituaries, births, resurrections) and series ender warnings. Their official 'together' leave ended the day before, what with Molinaro failing to prove his case to the internal affairs department, but they'd become so used to each other's company that they decided to eat lunch together anyway.

Lennon hadn't been out of her quarters all day and both Charlotte and Madison assumed that she was glad to _finally_ have some alone time, and was merely taking advantage of it.

"I uh..I need to talk to you guys."

"I'm uh...well...remember how we went to the X-Files 'verse on vacation?"

Charlotte eyed Lennon warily, "Yes."

"I kinda...went back after that. Without you guys." Lennon leaned back and rummaged around in her pocket for a minute, "And um...Langly? You know Langly..."

She was stalling.

"Yeah, we know him, Len."

"Well...he...uh...asked me something."

Madison's eyes went the size of saucers when a little silver band landed on the mess hall table and spun before settling.

When she had time to register what it was and what it meant, she jumped from her seat and squealed, "An engagement ring? He asked you to marry him?"

"Not in so many words. He said 'I want to ask you something' and then shoved the ring at me with an awkward 'Uh...I mean...you know? Would you?'." Lennon smiled fondly, "It was actually really cute the way he couldn't look me in the eye."

Another loud squeal erupted from the youngest buster and she descended on Lennon, practically glomping her in her excitement.

"Lenny! This is fantastic!" She squealed, jumping up and down with the geek tightly held in her embrace.

Charlotte looked quite a bit more reserved than Madison did, gladness and worry warring for dominance on her face.

Knowing that she was the only one in rational thinking mode put a lot of pressure on the redhead. "Len, _how _are you going to marry him?"

Madison stopped hopping with Lennon in her grasp, confusion written on her face clear as day before replaced by horror. "Oh! Lenny...they won't let you! Oh _no_!"

"Like hell they won't," Lennon said gruffly. "There's a proviso in the handbook that allows agents who've been shipped to marry their ship if they want to."

"But you weren't shipped," Charlotte replied.

"They don't know that."

Madison was stunned. "You're going to _lie_? To the APBA?"

Lennon rolled her eyes. "Like you've never done it before."

"But...Lenny." Madison's glee was completely wiped away now. "Lenny, you'll be..._gone._"

Lennon took a sudden interest in the floor under her feet. "Well, that _is_ part of the regulations. Once you decide to retire inside a fandom, that's all she wrote. You can't come back...it's part of the contamination ordinances."

The brunette released the geek and sank down on the mess hall table, not caring that reclining on a tabletop wasn't commonplace.

"I mean...it's not like this is going to happen right _away_," Lennon said, gently shoving Madison's shoulder to get her out of the funk. "It takes time to plan a wedding...and time to fill out all the agency paperwork...I won't be actually _leaving_ for a year or more." She poked Madison again.

Madison looked up at Lennon, rather grief striken. "Yeah but we'll miss you."

"You can come visit."

"That's not the same," Charlotte muttered darkly. "It's just _not_."

"Don't look so down, I'm going to get to live happily ever after." Lennon was starting to get irritated. "I'm not going to be _gone_ gone, I'll just be...gone away. And not even that _far_ away."

Madison stared at the engagement ring on the table next to her thigh, and even though a few tears had escaped her eyes, she looked up at Lennon with a warm smile. "I _am_ happy for you, Lenny...I'm just going to miss you."

Lennon muttered something inaudible.

"What was that?"

Lennon growled. "Don't make me _say_ it!"

"What?"

She sighed and said in a rushed whisper: "I'mgoingtomissyoutoo."

Madison was up off the table and hugging Lennon so fast that she didn't know what hit her. "I _knew_ you loved us!"

Lennon could see over Madison's shoulder that Charlotte was grinning. "Not one _word_, Charlie."

"I was just going to ask about Bridesmaids is all, Lenny."

The squeal that was torn from Madison's throat at hearing the word 'Bridesmaid' could have conceivably been audible to dogs. "Oh! Bridesmaids! We have to go shopping! Lenny! You need a wedding dress!"

Madison grabbed hold of Lennon's hand and started forcefully dragging her out of the mess.

Lennon just sent a smoldering glare in Charlotte's direction. "I hate you, Charlie. I hate you _so_ much right now."

Of course, that didn't stop Charlotte from following her hateful tech officer.

Just so long as she didn't make the bridesmaid gowns pink, Charlotte figured she could handle any sort of retribution that Lennon had in mind.


	31. So This Is Goodbye

Angst!Ahoy!

It had to be done. I'm sorry, but it _had_ to be done considering the Buster's history thus far. Things at the APBA can't be _all_ fun and games, you know.

----

_Three months later..._

The geek was standing in the open doorway to her CO's on-base quarters, a newspaper in one of the hands she had wrapped around herself, trying to work up the nerve to say what she was thinking. It wasn't that Lennon had a problem being blunt in situations such as this one, far from it. Instead, it was the fact that if she said it aloud, then she'd have to reconcile that it was true.

And it _was_ true. She had checked.

And checked, and checked and gone through the archives just to make certain that this wasn't like the great Dallas season ender scare of eighty nine.

She had been standing there for a solid five minutes, trying to find just the right way to broach the subject, and finding none.

It was unreal. It wasn't supposed to have happened like this. There had been rumors, sure, but she had chosen to ignore them and hope for the best.

If Lennon, the most pessimistic person of the group was clinging to _hope,_ of all things, then you knew it was a dire and desperate situation.

Charlotte was aware of Lennon's presence, and had a pretty good idea of why it was she was here. Thusly, she also knew why it was the geek was having trouble starting the conversation.

The redhead decided to save her the trouble, "What is it, Lenny?"

Lennon jumped. Charlotte had an unnerving habit of doing that, knowing when Lennon was watching her regardless of how quiet she was.

The geek swallowed thickly, forcefully pushing down the lump in her throat, "Have you seen this week's Canon obituaries, Charlie?"

"Yeah...yeah I have." The team commander looked over at Lennon, her facial expression serious, making her look much, _much_ older than she was, "Has Madison?"

"No...you know how she hates to read the news," Lennon stubbed the toe of her shoe into the ground, dislodging some of the mud from it in the process, "I just told her."

Charlotte's stomach dropped out, knowing that Lennon wasn't exactly the most subtle of people to trust with delivering this sort of news, "How's she handling it?"

"Not so good...she...uh...started crying right away," Lennon said quietly, staring at the ground, her arms still wrapped about herself, "I had to give her a sedative to calm her down."

Charlotte shut her eyes momentarily and sighed, "Sleeping?"

"Like a rock."

"That's good." The CO straightened up a bit, a mask of indifference sliding into place, "When's the funeral?"

"Fri-" Lennon's voice cracked harshly, but she covered it well with a cough, "Friday."

Lennon gulped and tugged at the side of her tee shirt. "We have to go," she said, all of her usual snark and sarcasm completely drained from her voice and replaced with sickly grief and sobriety, "We _have_ to."

"We can't."

"Like hell we can't!" Lennon shouted suddenly, very angry at the idea that she would be denied, "I don't know about _you_, but I don't care if I have to call in **every** favor I've got coming to me, I'm going to say goodbye."

At the word 'goodbye' her voice cracked again, and she couldn't cover it this time, "The powers that be owe us, Charlie. They owe us _big_."

---------

All three of them were wearing black, head to toe. They were dressed formally as well. Something that Lennon rarely did, if ever.

But today...well, she owed them that much. Owed it to them to not show up at Arlington cemetery in a pair of jeans with the knees ripped out and a band tee-shirt...

Although, Langly probably wouldn't have minded.

Byers on the other hand...

They had kept their distance during the actual memorial service and had only approached the graves themselves once everyone else was gone. They couldn't have come to the funeral itself, since they would've been invited to a wake afterwards and then most likely would've had to explain their relationships with the Gunmen, but they were able to watch from afar and say their goodbyes privately now.

Madison had her arms wrapped around herself tightly, and Charlotte stood with her lips set in a grim line, wind causing her hair to flap around her face. Lennon just stared at the caskets, trying to force herself into acceptance.

"I...I just can't believe they're _gone_," Charlotte said quietly, also trying to reconcile that what she was seeing was part of canon and not a Death!Fic.

"How could they do this?" Lennon whispered, her voice touched with both anger and sadness as her gaze traveled up the length of each of the silver caskets, "How could the writers do _this_?"

"Ratings, Lenny...it's always about ratings." Charlotte replied simply, after which, silence ruled once more.

Madison hadn't said anything since they had arrived in the 'verse. She had spent all her time trying to force herself not to cry.

The brunette's shoulders shook silently as she choked back the sobs that were threatening to make themselves known. She was trying to be strong. Trying to not let it hurt quite so very much, but it just wasn't working. Her throat felt raw just from holding the sobs in.

Lennon looked over at the younger woman, feeling sympathy surge up within her and did something that she had never done for anyone, nor was she likely to ever do it again.

The geek wrapped an arm around Madison's shoulders and pulled her into a comforting embrace.

Madison finally lost hold on her emotions and sobbed into Lennon's shoulder as Charlotte moved to pat her on the back softly, reassuringly.

Tears had welled up in the eyes of the two elder women, whether they wanted to acknowledge the fact that they were there or not, as the three stood there mourning not only their loss, but the loss that the rest of the world had suffered as well.

They stood like that for close to fifteen minutes, the only sound in the immediate vicinity being that of Madison's weeping.

"It's not fair," Lennon said, blinking rapidly to clear her eyes, "Not right at all."

"No...no it isn't."

"Do-" Madison sniffled, "Do you think there's a-a-any chance that they'll be brought back?"

The hopeful look that Charlotte saw on Lennon's face couldn't be masked, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

Damn, she really _had_ loved Langly.

She must be _dying_ inside.

"They have to be," the redhead said resolutely, "They _have_ to be."

Lennon shook her head and wiped her cheeks with the heels of her hands, "No. It's too late. The show is ending in a few weeks, you know that...the writers aren't going to spend one of their precious final episodes bringing the-" Her voice cracked violently and it came out in a squeak for a moment before she recovered, "They won't spend a whole episode bringing the Gunmen back after they went to all the trouble of giving them such an epic ending."

Lennon held up her left hand and slid the engagement ring off it.

Madison looked heartbroken. "Lenny, _no_."

"Gotta move on, Madge," Lennon said awkwardly, stepping up to the headstone of Richard Langly to set the ring atop it. "That's what life is...moving on. That's the secret to it. It's the people who stagnate and stand still that feel like they've wasted their lifetimes." She patted the tombstone. "Bye, Ringo...catch ya on the flip side."

The next few moments were like those when a dam broke under extreme pressure. Charlotte and Madison could see the fractures forming in Lennon's cool, calm exterior, and finally the facade fell away completely, leaving her to drop to her knees, crying as she wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth.

And as the sun set on three women holding each other and crying in Arlington, the world was forever changed--not only that of the X-Files, but that of the Bunny Busters as well.

In tragedy, the friendship of Madison, Charlotte and Lennon was cemented firmly, never to be shaken apart by anything save that of the grim reaper himself.

And if anyone noticed that there was a silent agreement amongst APBA agents to let resurrection bunnies run rampant in the XF 'verse after that, no one bothered to make comment on it.


	32. Conspiracy In The Archives

The archives of the APBA were quiet at night; held in the innermost part of the base beneath all the agent quarters, fandom entrances and training rooms, they were the catacombs, filled nigh on to bursting with manila file folders and file cabinets stretched as far as the eye could see.

Three days after the funeral of the Lone Gunmen, Madison Price found herself sneaking into this section of HQ, intent on finding out whether or not a rumor she'd been hearing through the grapevine lately was true or not.

She nearly got lost in the labyrinth of file cabinets before she came upon the help desk, manned by a single young man about her age--perhaps a year or two older--hard at work shuffling papers.

She approached cautiously, knowing that a field agent down in the archives was bound to be suspicious. She used that time to study the clerk a little more closely before she dared venture to speak.

His shirt was blue with tiny thin white stripes breaking up the solid azure. The glasses he wore were rectangular and as a stark contrast to the blue of his shirt the lenses were lemon yellow. The dimple in his chin was pronounced enough to bear noticing, but not enough to be unattractive, and he kept his head tipped to one side to camouflage his lazy left eye better. This deformity ( ) didn't take away from the fact that he was quite adorable, in a bookish sort of way, and he shyly eyed the young buster from behind his desk.

"Can I help you, miss?" he said quietly, his gaze fluttering up to meet Madison's momentarily before he took a keen interest in the book of stamps on the counter in front of him.

"Um...I don't know if you can or not," Madison said honestly, leaning on the desk so that she could whisper at the shy agent. "I'm looking for a file on the new cloning and consciousness storing project that the agency is working on?"

His eyes widened ever so slightly behind his glasses and he glanced around before he met Madison's eyes head on. "No one is supposed to know about that," he said. "Where did you hear about it?"

"Around," Madison replied, chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. "I've been looking into the process that's being suggested for impli...implim..I can never remember that word."

"Implementation?"

"That's the one!" She smiled brightly. "I've been looking into it..I know it's still in the experimental stages and all, but whenever they do implement it and start taking subjects, I want to be involved."

He tipped his head curiously at her. "Why? The program is supposed to be for high risk agents and older ones--to preserve their experience and knowledge. You don't look like a high risk agent to me." He flushed suddenly, going from the pink he'd been since he first laid eyes on her to a deep shade of red. "No offense."

"Oh, none taken," the brunette answered with an encouraging smile. "I know I don't look like the secret agent type and nobody really expects someone like me to be part of one of the more...um...rambunctious teams."

"What team are you on?"

"Forty seven."

He blinked. "What, with Fisk and Walker?"

Madison nodded sullenly. "I'm always the one getting into the most trouble." She shrugged. "I figure it's only a matter of time before I make a mistake and bite the big one."

"You shouldn't say that."

"Hey, I'm green and I know it. This program--if it works--would give me some kind of provision if I screwed up royally and wound up dead or mortally wounded." Now it was Madison's turn to look at the book of stamps. "I...I don't want Lenny and Charlie to ever be without me, you see...or I don't ever want to be without them. I haven't quite figured out the semantics yet, but for us to be apart for any significant length of time...it'd just be wrong."

"I'm not sure I understand," he murmured quietly.

"Look, um--"

"Kyle."

"Look, Kyle, we're...we're friends," Madison explained. "It's more than that too...I...I know it might sound stupid, but I don't have a big family..no sisters or anything. They've kinda...they've become my family." She started chewing on her lip again. "I trust them with my life...and everything else. I can't think of any other people on the planet I trust--or care about--_more_. They're always there for me, no matter what scrapes we get into, I can count on them."

"That's why you always want to be there for them." He nodded sagely. "To return the favor."

"Exactly." Madison looked up from the book of stamps to find Kyle the clerk giving her a crooked smile that was rather charming in its imperfection.

"I'll see if I can 'misplace' the file for a few days...but you have to promise to get it back to me before it's gone for _too_ long."

"Really?" Madison dazzled him with another hundred watt smile that caused her eyes to light up.

He returned her smile with equal strength, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "Really."

"Is there anything I can do to pay you back? Do back paperwork or something? I don't want you to risk getting into trouble without getting something out of the deal."

He quirked an eyebrow playfully. "Well, how limber is your tongue?"

Madison stepped back, scandalized. "I beg your pardon?"

He laughed, a deep rich sound that was out of sync with his appearance before he tapped a stack of envelopes on the counter. "I could use someone to stuff envelopes and lick stamps, if you _really_ want to help out."

"Oh." Madison blew out a breath, obviously relieved. "Sure, I can do that."

And thus began a beautiful friendship.

-

A/N: The teller I had at the bank today was so striking and memorable, that I had to create a character in his image. When he was depositing my check, I stood there staring at him thinking: "This man is a fictional character waiting to happen." Indeed, the most memorable characters we write have their basis in reality, as is the case here. -is instantly a Madge/Kyle shipper-

A lovable character with a semi-developed personality in one chapter. Damn I'm good. -pats herself on the back-


	33. Hey Little Sister, What've You Done?

Lennon was sulking.

Of course, there hadn't been a day over the past six months when she _hadn't_ been sulking.

Frankly, Charlotte was sick of it. Lennon was trouble enough without adding depression and explosive anger to the mix, which was what the geek's sulking entailed, _and_ she was getting sloppy in the field.

Twice since the death of Langly they'd all been pulled in for questioning due to some careless mistake on Lennon's part and if they didn't find a way to lift the depression soon, one of those careless mistakes would either see them all forced to retire or get them blown up.

Charlotte wasn't heartless. She _knew_ that Lennon was still hurting; but if she needed to take Canon Grief Leave, she should have _taken_ it, not jumped headfirst back into work again.

As if Lennon wasn't bad enough, Madison was acting strangely lately. Not strangely in any way she could put her finger on, but she was disappearing a lot more, with startling regularity, into the archives whenever she got the chance.

What she was up to, the Busters commander couldn't even venture to guess, but since she couldn't very well go about spying on her teammates (aside from any moral qualms she might have had, it was quite impossible to keep an eye on both of them if they were in different places at the same time _constantly_), so she sat and stewed in her frustration getting almost as snippy as Lennon was.

And things continued that way for close to a month before something changed.

A letter arrived for Lennon, which she sulkily tore open and read at breakfast one morning.

The cloud of gloom lifted immediately and Lennon whooped loudly, leaping up from her chair and startling Madison out of her thoughtful staring at the wall.

"Lenny?"

Lennon jumped for joy, hopping around the table and waving the letter around, alternately reading a line and doing a little dance. "It's Eddie! She got in! She passed! She--"

The dancing stopped abruptly and the geek went so green she was bordering on olive.

"What?" Charlotte and Madison exclaimed in unison. "She WHAT?"

Lennon slumped down in her seat once more and let her head hit the table with a thunk.

"She's...been assigned to us for training."

Charlotte spoke first. "Hell."

"In a hand basket," Lennon tacked on.


	34. Sewers Suck

Lennon, Charlotte, Madison and Kennedy crept along in the sewer system beneath the small (utterly fictional) town of Derry, Maine in absolute silence.

Kennedy was quite accomplished for a rookie, keeping her gun up and her aim steady as they traveled along the sewers, but while her sister was perfectly calm, Lennon Fisk was anything but.

Lennon broke the quiet suddenly and quite vehemently. "She promised me no more clowns, and what happens? Clowns!"

"Lenny, we haven't seen anything that even resembles a clown!" Madison chided.

"I don't _care_, I know where we are," Lennon answered, angry coloring her tone. "We're in a horror universe, and what's more, we're in a horror universe with _clowns_."

"I still don't understand how we keep winding up in horror universes," Charlotte said somewhat conversationally, feeling a small swelling of pride for her newest charge and her professional attitude.

"Technically," the younger Fisk spoke up, "'It' _is_ classified as a science fiction universe, despite the fact that Stephen King wrote it. Its roots are in sc-fi, the horror part is just incidental."

"Well look who's little miss information today," Lennon sniped, her attitude coming purely out of anxiety. "I was promised no more clowns, damn it, and we're _here_ in a _clown infested_ universe!"

"One clown does not an infestation make, Lennon," Charlotte scolded.

"Fine, one clown...but Pennywise is plenty!" Lennon grumbled. "He's bad enough to outrank a whole _circus_! With sideshow freaks!"

"What's wrong with sideshow freaks? My uncle is a sideshow freak," Madison said quietly.

"You're pulling my leg."

"I am not, he's a midget…er, little person."

"Learn something new every day," Charlotte said with a shrug.

A sudden 'thunk' noise made all of the Bunny Busters pause in their tracks, which was followed by a heavy, wheezy voice invading their minds, whispering creepily about a tortoise and a…

Kennedy blanched and froze, her professionalism fleeing her to be replaced by the demeanor of a terrified little girl who'd just come face to face with her worst fear. "S-s-spider? Did it say _spider?_"

Lennon halted as well, one hand going to cover her mouth as she stared at her sister. "Oh, God, I forgot you suffer from arachnophobia."

"Isn't there a giant spider in this universe, Lenny?" Madison asked with concern.

"GIANT?" Kennedy screeched. "Now wait just one minute, I never signed on for anything with giant spiders in it!"

"We never sign on for anything, it just flies out of left field and hits us in the chops," Lennon muttered. "Such is the nature of our profession."

Kennedy gulped, the sound echoing down the narrow passages in front of and behind her. "It's not a giant…like, man eating spider, is it?"

"Aren't they all?"

"You're very supportive, Lennon, thank you."

"Don't mention it."

"Oh, I won't. Except maybe to ma."

"You wouldn't _dare_!"

"Hey," Charlotte cut in, stepping between the arguing siblings. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"_Listen."_

A slight skittering noise could be heard from in front of the four heroines of our story and if at all possible, Kennedy went just a _little_ bit whiter.

That sounded an awful lot like lots of little legs working in tandem…

"I hate you, Lenny, I really, really hate you."

Lennon gaped at her sister. "What? Me? What did _I_ do?"

"You and your damn 'whump the hell out of me' genes!"

"Those are your genes _too_!"

"I never would've been created if it wasn't for _you_!"

"Uh, guys--"

"You can't blame _me_ for that! It's always _her_ doing!"

"Guys…"

"Oh, well, it's still your fault for being so--"

"GUYS!"

"**WHAT**?"

"Now is not the time for sibling rivalry," Charlotte stated, clearing her throat as she stared past her teammate and the rookie.

"Then what _is_ it the time for?"

"Oh, just off the top of my head," Charlotte pointed beyond Lennon and the two geeks followed the redhead's finger. "I'd say _running_."

She was pointing at, quite possibly, the biggest spider since 'Tarantula!' and both Fisks exchanged a glance.

"We concur. RUN!"


	35. The Real Boy Complex

Kennedy, not surprisingly, had been reassigned to another team for training shortly after the disastrous mission to the 'It' 'verse. Charlotte, Lennon and Madison had only _barely_ escaped retaliation at the hands of Molinaro and now, they all sat round a camp fire on a desert planet, where Lennon poked at the flames with a stick without any real interest.

"Well, _this_ was a wash," the geek muttered, still poking at the fire.

"Please," came the voice of their newest companion--a man with bright yellow eyes and a sickly, painted pallor. "What is 'a wash'?"

Lennon didn't answer, just sighed heavily and Madison kindly tried to explain to the android the meaning of the slang the geek had just used.

"If I see one more Data clone, I'm going to _scream_," Lennon mumbled, glaring at the android who listened to Madison with his head tilted to one side like an interested puppy.

"Lenny, you can't fault him for existing," Charlotte replied, shuffling her feet in the sand. "Besides, there have only been two androids _other_ than B4 that looked like he does...Lore and Data."

"I don't care. Doubles, evil twins and clones are the _worst_ cliché plot devices outside of long lost children, amnesia and time travel." The geek glared again. "Plus, the 'I want to be a real boy' Pinocchio complex is getting _really_ old in this universe. First Data, then Odo, then Seven-of-Nine _and_ the Doctor..."

"It's a good storyline, Len."

"The first time, maybe."

"Oh stop sulking, you're just upset we're back in the Star Trek universe again."

"Am not." Lennon shifted her glance to Charlotte. "If I have to be in Next Gen Trek, I'm actually relieved we're in Nemesis and not in Insurrection."

"Yeah, that one was pretty stinky," The redhead agreed. "And at least we're not surrounded by man eating tribbles...and the uniforms have pants."

Lennon muttered something and Charlotte had to quirk an eyebrow at her and ask her to repeat herself.

"I _said_, I miss Kirk," the raven haired tech expert said with a rash-like blush before she cleared her throat and quickly changed the subject, nodding at B4. "What're we supposed to do with _him_, anyway?"

"Keep him safe until the other canons show up to pick him up, of course, we'll have to disassemble him again before that happens," Charlotte said, picking up a stray piece of wood and rolling it between her fingers absently. "Lenny?"

"Yeah?"

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you," Charlotte's voice dropped an entire register. "Have you noticed anything weird about the way Madison's been acting since--since--um..."

"It's okay, Charlie, you can say his name." Lennon poked at the embers again. "I'm over it...mostly."

"Well...ever since Langly--" Charlotte couldn't ignore the very visible wince that accompanied her words, but she pressed on anyway, "Ever since Langly, Byers and Frohike...died...Madge has been acting kinda funny, have you noticed?"

"If you're talking about the way she's been slipping off into the archives so often? Yeah, I noticed."

"What do you think she's up to?"

Lennon shrugged with one shoulder, still not abandoning the fire. "I dunno...half the time I think she's down there for the company and half the time I think she's actually...you know..._doing_ something."

Charlotte cocked her head at her pensive companion. "What do you mean 'The company'?"

The geek glanced at Charlotte. "You don't pay much attention to the gossip mill at HQ, obviously."

"No, I don't. I like hearing things first hand from reliable sources, Len."

"Well, it's either a conspiracy or a budding romance between her and one of the archive clerks," Lennon replied easily. "And knowing Madge..."

"Budding romance?" Charlotte looked thoughtful. "No, I don't think so. Something else is going on and she's not telling us about it."

They both shifted to look at Madison briefly before looking back at each other.

"I suppose the point is moot either way...we can't exactly beat it out of her."

"We could _try_."

"Lenny..."

"Kidding, I was kidding. Yeesh. Must you be so serious all the time?"

"I _am_ the CO, Lennon. It's my _job_ to be the serious one," Charlotte flipped her hair and reached for her pack, rummaging around inside. "Besides, you haven't been a barrel of laughs yourself lately."

"Yeah well…I've had a good excuse, what with the whole one-true-love-bit-the-dust-thing."

"Would you have really married him, Lenny?"

"I dunno." Lennon shrugged one shouldered again, not looking up from the fire. "I guess. I mean, he asked, he gave me a ring, I _wore_ the ring…that's how it goes, isn't it?"

"Ah ha. Found it." The redhead stopped her fiddling with her pack, withdrew a slightly smushed plastic bag and tore it open.

"Marshmallows?" Lennon asked incredulously. "You brought _marshmallows_."

"Yup." Charlotte handed a cluster of the small white puffs to her comrade, who took them and stared at them.

"You realize what this _means_, don't you? We're _bonding_. Lenny Fisk is _outside_ at a campfire…_bonding_."

"The gods themselves do tremble."

"Somewhere in New York my entire family just suffered a mass twitching fit and they don't know why," Lennon said as she pressed a marshmallow onto the end of her already charred fire-poking-stick.

Charlotte attached a marshmallow to a stick of her own. "It's not that bad, is it?"

"Just so long as you don't try making me sing Kum By Yah…"

"I'd _never_ do that."

"Good."

"I was going to suggest Row, Row, Row Your Boat."


	36. Splish Splash

The APBA infirmary was one of the few places in the Techieverse that has yet to be mentioned or described, which was about to be rectified due to the fact that our three intrepid heroines were currently in it. It was two parts Star Trek Sickbay and one part regular old hospital, what with all the fandom related medical equipment in it mixed with 'regular' technology.

There were several dozen beds, draped in shiny silvery sheets with scratchy gray blankets, and a few chairs meant for teammates and friends to sit in when they were visiting the sick and injured.

Usually, the place was packed, but today, there were only three people in the infirmary. Why? Well...

"I don't BELIEVE this!" Lennon screeched from her vantage point on one of the infirmary beds, looking for all the world like she'd just been told she had to eat a worm.

"Pipe down, Lenny," Charlotte scolded, not looking up from her three year old magazine.

"Yeah, it was an accident," Madison tried sounding cheerful.

"There are accidents and then there are complete disasters!"

"It's not that bad."

"Not that bad? I'M ANIMATED!" Lennon pinwheeled her arms. "Two dimensional! INK AND PAINT!"

"If you don't shut up and stop whining, Lenny, I'm going to go find some turpentine and wash your mouth off."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I _would_," Charlotte retorted.

Madison decided to take the diplomatic route. "At least you're still living and breathing...even if you _are_ a cartoon. You should be glad."

"Living, she says, should be _glad_, she says!" Lennon shifted on the bed and tore the blanket off the bottom half of her body. "I HAVE A TAIL! An honest to God mermaid tail!"

Charlotte started giggling most uncharacteristically and Madison covered her mouth with her hand, her face scrunching up as she tried to stifle her own laughter.

"It's not funny!"

"Sure it is...hey, Charlie?"

"Hm?"

"What's the differences between a fish and a piano?"

"You can't tuna fish!"

"Oh, you're a couple of real comedians, you are," Lennon ground out, her fins flicking themselves impatiently, much the way an irritated cat might express its displeasure by slashing through the air with its own tail.

"Come on, Lenny...every cloud has a silver lining."

"And this one's silver lining is _what_ exactly?"

Charlotte and Madison traded a look before speaking in unison. "You'll never have to worry about having clean socks again?"

"I hate you both."


	37. A Little Bit Closer To Death

"Happy biiiirthday to yoooou, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Lenny--"

"Would you shove a sock in it already, Madge? You sound like you're killing a cat."

"But it's your _birthday!_" Madison exclaimed.

"All the more reason not to annoy me," Lennon muttered morosely, staring at the cupcake that the brunette had proudly presented her with as she sang her awful out of tune rendition of 'Happy birthday'.

"Well? Blow out the candle and eat it!" Madison exclaimed, waving an arm at the chocolate cupcake. "I made sure it's kosher and everything!"

"I don't _want_ to, I want to get out of here and hit our next mission already!"

"But it's your _birthday_."

"You said that already, with the same italic emphasis and everything, and I get the point." Lennon waved an arm around in mock excitement. "'Yay, Lenny's another year closer to sweet, sweet death. Let's all celebrate our impending doom and a reminder of our mortality by stuffing our faces with pastry and an assortment of baked goods'."

"Must you _always _be such a cynic, Lennon?" Madison snapped angrily. "I made this cupcake just for you, I got a nice candle and everything, now blow it out and eat it!"

"I will not! And what's more, _you_ can't give _me_ orders, I outrank you!"

"Oh! You are…you're infuriating, that's what you are!"

"I may be infuriating, but at least I can carry a tune without handles!"

"Lennon, Madison!" Charlotte, who had been out of this scene thus far for reasons which will soon be revealed, barked suddenly, forcing her teammates to stop bickering and look at her as she walked into the room. "Stop acting like children, we have two **very** important missions lined up as of right now."

The redhead held up six folders and handed each of her comrades two of them.

"It's about time," Lennon muttered, flicking open one of the portfolios. "Where're we headed?"

"Sliders and then SG-1, and there's no time to delay." Charlotte nodded at her team. "We're due in embarkation _now_."

"Now?"

"**Now**."

"But it's--"

"Lenny's birthday, I _know_. But we don't have time. There's a crisis and we're needed," Charlotte answered brusquely. "We'll have to make up for it later."

"A proper party?" Madison grinned.

"Absolutely not!" Lennon screeched in reply. "I have had my fill of disastrous birthdays to last me until time ends!"

"_Disastrous_ birthdays?"

"Yes disastrous! An irrational fear of clowns doesn't just fall out of the sky, you know!"

"Never mind, girls. We'll worry about all the details later." Charlotte jerked her head at Madison. "Come on, Madge. Len, we'll meet you there."

"Why're we leaving her all al--"

"You know how much longer she takes to get packed than we do, Madge," Charlotte said, casting a rather eloquent look at Lennon.

"I don't take _that_ much time!" Lennon said angrily, jumping up from her chair and reaching for her pack as both Charlotte and Madison started out into the corridor. "Wait! I'm coming!"

The geek tripped over one of her shoelaces and landed hard on her knees, managing to hit her jaw squarely on the tabletop where Madison's kosher chocolate cupcake sat.

She stared at the yellow icing that was smeared with black; a painstakingly painted smiley face staring back at her from beneath a rapidly melting super thin purple candle.

"I guess it would be kinda a waste to not eat a kosher chocolate cupcake," she said reasonably, narrowing her eyes at the cupcake. "But I won't make a wish. I won't!"

The cupcake just continued to stare with its black icing eyes.

"Though I can't eat you with a lit candle on top of you anyway." Lennon's brow furrowed. "Well…um…I don't have a wish per se," she said to the candle. "And I probably shouldn't be doing any of this like…out loud or anything…so…um…I guess, whatever. Exciting things, maybe? Good things. That's what I wish for, I think. Just, whatever's supposed to happen, working out the way it's supposed to work out. Yeah, that sounds good."

She leaned a couple inches forward, squeezed her eyes shut briefly and extinguished the flickering flame with a single, short breath before she straightened out again, picked up her pack, stuffed the cupcake inside it and started for the door.

It was to be a most eventful birthday week _indeed._

-

A/N: If you haven't already read it--go read NenyaVilyaNenya's "Meeting Of Minds", since it goes riiight here.


	38. What's The Worst That Could Happen?

_Again, I remind you, the events of NenyaVilyaNenya's story "Meeting Of Minds" belongs between this chapter and the last. Unless you read it, you won't know what happened there._

_-­_

The mess hall was extraordinarily crowded for a Thursday afternoon, though Lennon could find neither hide nor hair of either of her partners as she navigated through the throng of people and plopped down at one of the few tables with empty seats at it. She stared at her lunch tray without really seeing it for several seconds before she shook herself out of it and picked up her fork to poke at her meal sullenly.

A flash of bright reddish orange caught was visible from the corner of her eye and Lennon didn't even look up when Sebastian Caine came and seated himself across from her.

"Long time no see, ace," he said cheerfully, unfolding his napkin and setting it in his lap. "Where're the girls?"

"How the hell should I know?" Lennon sniped. "They're my colleagues, not my keepers."

"Forget to take your snark control pill this morning, Lenny?"

"Did you take a double dose of liquid sunshine this morning, Bash?" The geek replied with false sweetness.

"You've been acting weird ever since that trip to the SG1 universe."

Lennon glared at him and dug her fork into her mashed potatoes, "I have not."

"Oh yes you have," he wagged a finger at her, "You've been all moon eyed for days."

Lennon took a gulp of her water, suddenly feeling like the room was hot and stuffy, "You're nuts."

"That, my friend, is beside the point."

"Listen Bash, I don't _do_ 'moon-eyed' as you so delicately put it. I'm just tired, irritable and desperately need a vacation."

"You're always tired, irritable and need a vacation."

"To paraphrase you, that's beside the point."

"You know, if I didn't know any better," Sebastian said in a harsh whisper as he leaned across the table on his elbows, narrowing his eyes at Lennon appraisingly, "I'd think you had been shipped."

Lennon's stomach landed somewhere in her shoes at hearing this insanely accurate guess from her former teammate. She took a sudden interest in the sweet peas residing in one of the compartments of her lunch tray.

He gasped in a very over exaggerated way when Lennon didn't say anything to defend herself against his accusation. "You _were_, weren't you?" He exclaimed a bit too loudly.

Lennon gave him a swift kick in the shin under the table, "Tell the whole world, why don't you!" she hissed.

He gasped again, partially from the pain in his shin and partially from shock that she was admitting that he was right in his assessment in a round about way.

"Oh my God! Did you report it? No, of course you didn't, otherwise you wouldn't care if I said anything...oh Lenny! Was it smut, fluff or slash? Who was it? What're you gonna do? Oh lord, you have a follow up mission to the SG1 'verse next week! What--_how_ are you going to handle this?"

"One question at a time! It was a fluff bunny, his name isn't important, he was a guest canon, and I'm just going to try and forget it ever happened."

"A fluff bunny? Lenny this is bad! You know how long it can take for those to wear off?"

"Yes, hence the fact that I'm trying to _forget_ about it. Straighten up will you? Unless you're _trying_ to draw attention to yourself."

Sebastian sat up, as he had managed to practically lay his torso on the table as he leaned across towards Lennon, and that could be construed as unusual behavior, even amongst the agents of the APBA.

Things were quiet for a few seconds as Lennon's friend and former teammate thought about her current situation.

Lennon, distracted herself by poking a fork into her Salisbury steak repeatedly.

"Well," Sebastian said, "At least it was only a guest canon. That means your chances of running into him again are pretty slim."

"Yeah...thank God for small miracles."

Sebastian looked at Lennon pointedly, "Does Charlotte know?"

"Oh God no!" Lennon exclaimed, "She'd kill me!"

"For getting shipped, or for neglecting to mention it?"

"Both, either, I don't know! But you _can't_ tell her! You have to **swear** to me that you won't tell her!"

"Alright, alright, I won't say anything…but Lenny, you'll have to deal with it."

"I _did_ deal with it."

Sebastian leveled his eyes at his former teammate suspiciously. "_How_?"

"I…wiped his memory."

"You WHAT?"

"_Bash_…"

"Right, sorry, sorry…but Lenny, you can't just go around wiping people's memories away!"

"I can, and I did. I only wiped out his memories of _me_ and besides, I'm pretty safe from prosecution so long as everyone who knows about it keeps their mouths shut," Lennon shrugged her shoulders easily as if she were shaking off all her concern over the matter. "And he's never going to be able to testify at a canon contamination hearing. I mean, what are the odds that he'll ever get those memories back?"


	39. Blink And She's Gone

"That's a _really_ nifty little toy you've got there," Lennon said as she looked the small silver cylinder over, "Might like one of those myself sometime."

If she had had one while in the SG-1 universe it would have made life infinitely easier. No tracking down and milking amnesia bunnies, just put your shades on, hit a button and flash! clean as a blank slate memory.

"State of the art-" the man behind the counter twitched slightly and leaned forward conspiratorially, "I'll let you have it for five hundred."

Lennon glanced around herself and put her hands on the glass case before her, which was filled with a myriad of hot properties. Rolex watches and diamond engagement rings as far as the eye can see.

"Five hundred, huh? That's a bit too much for me," Lennon held up her thumb and forefinger about a centimeter apart, "Could you maybe give a girl a little bit of a discount?"

She smiled at him as charmingly as she could manage.

The sweaty guy behind the counter looked at Lennon and bent foreword another quarter inch towards her, "Alright...since you're such a good customer, I'll let it go for four fifty."

"Four hundred," Lennon countered, her tone resolute.

He winced, "I _really_ can't give it to you for less than four fifty."

"Oh, come _on_, Jeebs...you can," Lennon lifted an eyebrow but kept her eyelids lowered, giving her the appearance of cool, unaffected detachment, "I _know_ you can. Four ten."

Jeebs took a step back, unaccustomed to feminine charm coming from one of _his_ customers.

It left him rather unsettled, which, unbeknownst to him, is _exactly_ what Lennon was going for.

"Four-f-four t-t-thirty," he said with a gulp.

Lennon straightened up and crossed her arms over her chest. "You can do better than that," she said, tilting her head down at him and gazing at him from beneath lowered lids, "I'll give you four hundred twenty five thousand, not a cent more."

He blinked rapidly, his eyelids betraying the shakiness of his nerves, regardless of how unmoved he was trying to appear, "Four twenty s-s-seven."

"You're positively robbing me, you know." The geek pouted but reached into her pocket, "Interstellar Credit's alright, isn't it?"

Jeebs looked relieved that she had taken his offer and nodded.

Lennon smiled the unsettlingly congenial smile she had when she was playacting at being polite and handed the sweaty, nervous alien clerk her Interstellar Credit card.

The moment he turned his back to check the card, she snapped up the slim silver cylinder, flicked it open, and put on her sunglasses.

"Hey, this card's been declin--"

He turned around and she hit the button, leaving him dazed, confused and staring blankly.

"When are you going to learn?" She asked the now empty headed Jeebs. "If you're going to sell memory modification devices, don't turn your back on a customer who might _use_ it on you."

-

A/N: Eep. I'm rapidly running out of universes to use, people. Throw me some ideas! Quickly, quickly, before I'm forced to end this thing too soon!


	40. High Ho Quicksilver, Away!

"Vans. Why is it always _vans_?" Lennon shifted uncomfortably, bracing one hand against her spine as she moved and tried to get situated in the back of the ancient GMC that she and her comrades were currently occupying.

"The same reason it's always Jeffries Tubes?"

"Shut up, Charlotte."

"Vans are excellent places to stash extra equipment, Lenny," Madison replied, not moving from her spot in the passenger side seat, a pair of binoculars practically glued to her face as she scanned the horizon.

"Oh, like _you_ know."

Madison's eyes rolled behind the binoculars. "Have you seen him yet?"

"He's the invisible man, being able to actually _see_ him goes against his grain doesn't it?"

"He's not invisible at _all_ time."

Lennon made a noise halfway between a snort and a scoff. "Yeah well, that's the lamest plot device _ever_."

"It is not!" Madison squeaked, tearing her eyes away from the binoculars and looking at the elder woman severely. "This is an _awesome_ take on a classic tale!"

"Oh and suddenly you're the expert on literary classics? Please, you didn't even know who Lord Byron was until I told you." Lennon snorted again. "For Pete's sake, you thought the Lost World was like Land of the Lost!"

Madison got defensive. "Well, I've been reading a lot more lately!"

"Finally learned how, have you?" Lennon winced when she realized she'd said it aloud. "Okay, yeah, even for me that was a little harsh. I'm…you know…I'm like…I'm…I'm the s word. You know? Don't make me _say_ it."

"You're forgiven," Madison said, rather unconvincingly considering how her voice had cracked, as she brought the binoculars back up to her face. "But I'm still right about I-Man being awesome squared, Lennon."

Lennon grunted. "You're just saying that because of the hot leading man, that's all."

"I'll have you know it has absolutely nothing to do with Darien. Charlotte gave me a copy of the book--it was part of this _huge_ stack of classic novels--and I think this series is a credit to the work."

Lennon turned her glare on her commanding officer. "So you're to blame for her sudden enlightenment, huh? I should have known."

Charlotte's nose tipped ever so slightly upwards. "Just because _you_ think blowing things up is more fun than reading doesn't mean the rest of us do."

"This from a woman who spends all her free time at the firing range."

It was a miracle that Lennon didn't noticed just how white Charlotte turned at that statement.

The redhead cleared her throat and pointed out the van's window, probably hoping to distract the other Buster. "Is it just me, or is that van watching our van?"

"_What?_" Lennon's head snapped around and she followed Charlotte's finger.

Indeed, there was a van down the street, a white one that was fairly rusted, and there was a man behind the wheel with his own set of binoculars.

And he was _staring_ at Lennon and Charlotte.

"Isn't that…_Hobbs_? Bobbie Hobbs? Why the hell is he watching _us_?"

"Maybe he's not. Maybe he's looking for our disappeared Canon too. I mean, he _is_ supposed to be looking out for Darien Fawkes, right?"

"Yeah but he's supposed to _know_ where he is at all times." Lennon muttered. "That's like…his _job_."

"Should we maybe try and team up with him?" Madison supplied. "I mean, if he's looking for Darien and _we're_ looking for Darien…"

The door to the Bunny Buster's van swept to one side and Charlotte hopped out. "I'll go ask."

However, just half a step away from the van, Charlotte tripped and hit the ground.

Stranger still was the fact she appeared to be suspended in mid-air, her torso about seven inches off the pavement and she was aware of the fact that the air beneath her seemed _awfully_ solid.

"That won't be necessary. I think I found our Invisible Man. " Charlotte poked the invisible body beneath her, which trembled, shaking her in the process. "I also think he might be ticklish."


	41. The One Thing You Never, Ever Do

Lennon Fisk glared straight out the windshield of her small spacecraft at nothing in particular. "I am going to kill somebody, that's all there is to it. No warning, no fuse to burn down to the quick, just BOOM! Splodey!"

"Shut up, Lenny, and hold your head still," Charlotte snapped from behind the geek in the driver's seat.

The geek continued to glare. "What, so you can strap two Danishes to my skull?"

"You make a very good Princess of Druidia, so hold still and stop complaining. I'm not making a fuss and _I'm_ wearing a plastic _suit_."

"Yeah well...um...uhhhhh..."

"What?"

"I seem to have completely forgotten what I was going to say."

"What, all of it?"

"Every syllable." Lennon glanced upwards and addressed her creator. "Time to up the ADD meds?"

"Possibly," came the disheartened reply.

Let us rewind:

"You make a very good Princess of Druidia, so hold still and stop complaining. I'm not making a fuss and _I'm_ wearing a plastic _suit_."

"I make a _decent_ Princess whatever-her-name is---"

"Vespa."

"Whatever!" Lennon snapped. "I make a decent one, Madge would've been a better one!"

Charlotte gave an unladylike snort that might have rivaled one of Lennon's own. "Yeah, but little miss unshakable constitution gets space sick."

Lennon glared out the windshield of their little 'borrowed' space craft. "Is there any kind of sick she _doesn't_ get? YOW. That hair is attached to my _head, _you realize!"

"Sorry, Lenny."

Lennon scrunched up her face. "I don't see why we have to do _this_ universe. It's not even legitimate sci-fi!"

"But it _is_ Mel Brooks," Charlotte replied, "_and_ it takes place in space. It's like...a gimme. There was no way for us to _not_ end up here sooner or later."

Lennon made a grumbly noise deep in her throat. "Let me state for the record: I. _Hate._ Mel. Brooks."

The moment the words were out, there was a growl from somewhere above and Lennon realized the error of her statement. "Okay, that's it, you are so getting smote…smote. Smoted? Smote? Screw it, DESTROYED!"

The little ship started to shake like a leaf on a tree, as though the entire galaxy around it was suffering from an earthquake.

Charlotte was tossed backwards, landing with a series of metallic clanks while Lennon tried to regain control of their vessel.

"You just HAD to insult Mel Brooks, didn't you?!"


	42. Disaster Strikes

A/N: There was a mix-up yesterday and this chapter was posted in the Chapter 41 slot when it was meant to be 42. So go back and glimpse the _original_ 41, 'kay?

-

Almost all human beings have a sixth sense about coming disasters.

It follows, then, that original characters--which are _based_ on human beings--also have this same sixth sense.

And Madison Nelson's sixth sense had been throwing up red flags left and right ever since she'd gotten the fandom assignment folder labeled "Highlander".

Something about it just _screamed_ "This will be your last mission!" so loudly that she couldn't ignore it.

Part of her wanted to try and get out of the mission. The part that was most concerned with self preservation.

But, Madison being who she was, simply couldn't listen to that part.

So instead of trying to chicken out, she went to the archives and sought out Kyle's assistance in storing a copy of her consciousness and some of her DNA; which he did.

Now, hiding in the bushes and watching as her teammate was forced down on her knees, Madison understood _why_ she'd had those feelings of impending doom.

Lennon was about to be beheaded...and she could not--_would not_--let that happen.

Charlotte had been knocked unconscious and was lying in a ditch about thirty feet away, no help would be coming in taking down this canon-gone-berserk, it really was all up to her now.

This was it. This was her time to be the hero. To step out of the snarker's shadow and show what she was really made of.

The brunette flung her pack aside and tensed all her muscles so that she was ready to pounce. The sword she'd managed to wrestle out of the hand of one of the corpses lying nearby was more for looks than anything else...instinctively, she knew she'd never get the chance to use it...but the solid weight clutched in her hands was comforting and lent some strength to her spirit that hadn't been there before.

She knew she wouldn't survive this--that's why she had allowed herself to be added to the cloning and consciousness storing program in the first place--but knowing that she _could be_ resurrected didn't make the concept of dying--and knowing what she was doing would result in her death--any easier to swallow.

The immortal--whose name Madison had neglected to catch--held his sword aloft and addressed Lennon with a _sneer._ "Any last words?"

Lennon, not bothering to struggle against her bindings glared and spat at him, "BITE ME!"

The immortal readied himself and _just_ as he was about to swing, Madison released a primal cry and launched herself out of the bushes and in front of her helpless comrade.

Either through fate or divine intervention--or perhaps just _really_ strange luck--Madison managed to swing _once_ and take the immortal's head clean off.

But this event did not pass without consequences…

Lennon--calm, cool, collected and very sarcastic Lennon, the woman who rarely showed concern or emotion outside of the realm of 'complaining'--let out a _screech_ of unmitigated anguish.

"MADISON! NO!"

Though Madison had lopped off the head of the enemy, in a cruel twist of fate, his aim had moved from Lennon to the attacking Plot Bunny Buster…and he had returned the favor.


	43. The Final Mournful Refrain

The death of Madison Nelson was not the first loss of a teammate that Charlotte Walker had endured.

It was, however, the first loss of a teammate that _Lennon_ ever had, and her morose attitude over the past two days since it had occurred seemed to have been leading up to _this._

Lennon had arrived at Charlotte's door with a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand, still in the black suit she'd worn to Madison's wake, her eyes red-rimmed and her face streaked with still drying tears.

"I want to get drunk," she'd said. "Three sheets to the wind, don't know my name anymore, couldn't care less what happens to the rest of the world _smashed_."

Despite her feeling that she should put her foot down and convince Lennon to do something more constructive with her feelings of grief--for the split second it took to make the decision, Charlotte found herself wanting the exact same thing.

So, here they both sat, in their stocking feet, leaning up against Charlotte's messily made bed, with their hands wrapped around paper cups full of liquor. They'd blasted through the bottle of JD in short order, followed by a half bottle of Vodka that Charlotte had stashed away, and were now working their way--slowly but surely--through a bottle of blackberry brandy.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, swimming through seas of alcohol, Charlotte's voice of reason was gurgling and drowning as it tried to keep afloat, reminding her whenever it could manage to surface that _no_, one more glass was _not_ a good idea…

She ignored it.

"I miss her," Lennon said with only a slight slur, for what must have been the thirtieth time since Madison's death. "I miss her, Charlie."

Charlotte tipped the rest of her cup's contents back, swallowing rapidly. "I do too, Len."

The geek hiccupped, covering a noisy sob. "It's my fault, Charlie…if I hadn't gotten captured and she hadn't had to save me…hadn't had…hadn't had…is that grammatically incorrect?"

Both the redhead's shoulders moved up and down in a clumsy shrug. "Doesn't matter right now, does it?"

"I dunno…" Lennon frowned and rubbed her feet together, her pantyhose making that funny, barely audible scratchy noise that nylons make. "I miss her."

"You already said that a minute ago."

"Well, it's just as true now as it was then," Lennon replied, lifting her cup to drink some more and finding it empty. She tossed the paper container aside and picked up the bottle that sat between her thigh and that of her commanding officer, taking a swig directly from the elegantly made glass. "What're we gonna do, Charlie?"

"Keep goin', I'd imagine," Charlotte answered dutifully, wondering idly why the room was waving in the manner it was and whether or not that slur in her voice was actually there or just a product of her imagination.

"I don't wanna," Lennon said like a petulant child. "I don't _wanna_. I can't go back out there without Madge…can't. Won't. I don't wanna."

"I don't either," Charlotte said, surprising her teammate. "I'm sick of losing friends…sick of getting to know good people and getting to like them only to lose them."

"I'm gonna kick that immortal son of a bitch's _ass_…"

"Lenny, he's already dead."

"I'm gonna hire a medium and kick that undead son of a bitch's astral ass." Lennon tipped over, hitting the carpeted floor with a thump. "You hear me? 'M gonna…mm…gonna…hmmm…this floor is really comfy."

Charlotte smiled the smile of a drunkard whose nerves were too dead to force any other response. "We'll be okay, Lenny…after a while."

"D'ya promise?" Lennon asked, muffled by a combination of her drunkenness and the carpet.

"I--" Charlotte hiccupped again and lost her balance, suddenly finding herself flat on her back, staring up at the wiggling, spinning ceiling. "I promise."

"D'ya think we'll ever--" a sleepy hiccup, "see her again? Y'know…reunited and it feels…er…how's the rest of that song go?"

"In another lifetime or the afterlife or what have you…who knows?"

"Sure hope we do," Lennon muttered, sliding into slumber. "She'd better not be tellin' any of my secrets, wherever she wound up…I'll kick her aZzZzZzzzZ…"

Charlotte's eyes started drifting shut, pondering on a great many things, from the meaning of life to the meaning of death and what follows…

It gave her some measure of comfort to think that Madison might be watching over the two of them…

"As long as we got her watchin'…" she murmured, "We'll be _fine_…"

And then she followed Lennon into the land of nod.

---

Madison was watching, indeed, but not in the way Charlotte was thinking. Through a pair of cloned eyes which were set into a cloned head, down in the archives through a closed circuit system, she watched as Lennon and Charlotte drank themselves into oblivion.

Kyle--her cohort in criminal activity--had been so distraught when he got the news she'd been killed in the line of duty that he immediately set about getting everything ready to clone Madison with the DNA and memories she'd left behind.

It had taken two full days, but now, here she stood, reborn exactly the same as she had been the first time around--well, not _exactly_…Kyle had found a way around the whole pesky 'growing up' thing--touching the screen tenderly with her new set of fingers.

"I'll be watching," Madison said quietly, still not used to the strangeness of having lived to tell the tale of dying. "I'll _always_ be watching…and I'll come back to you both."

And someday, come hell, high water, hurricane or caffeine shortage, she's gonna.

-

A/N: And so it ends. I haven't the energy to devote time to developing new OCs for this--and since it was only meant to be about the three _original_ Bunny Busters, I don't think it's necessary to go beyond this point--so here's a lovely place to stop. I hope you enjoyed the ride…and now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go rustle up some bunnies so I can finish the Angora Strain. -wave-


End file.
